Burning Bridges
by GraydonGirl
Summary: Ashley owns a bar in LA and uses it to pick up girls with her wingman, Spencer. It was so much easier for her before she realized her feelings for Spencer. Now it's too late and it's killing her.
1. Chapter 1

"So, Tara. Have you always had an interest for... accounting?" I ask the god awful question, just to pass the awkward moments along.

"um, yeah, I guess. I just really liked math in high school" she smiles shyly as if she's never actually been on a date before. Really? Who likes math in high school? Who likes _anything_ in high school?

"oh yeah? That's cool. Me and numbers never really clicked" I admit to her, not so shyly. Mostly because just like the rest of the world I hated math in high school. She gives me another shy smile and takes a sip of her water. And yes, she is drinking water. No wine, no cocktail, no beer, not even a carbonated drink. Water.

I glance down at my watch and I am practically counting the seconds. We sat down no more than 20 minutes ago and I can't wait to get out of here.

7...6...5...4...3...2...1...

And just like clockwork my phone starts ringing. "oh sorry, it's my roommate" I tell her as I check out the caller I.D.. "I told her I was on a date tonight, so she wouldn't call if it wasn't important. Do you mind if I...?" I allude.

"no, of course" she says quietly. Oh thank god.

Every date I have Ashley call me exactly 20 minutes in to the date. If I like the girl and plan to pursue something with her I ignore the phone call... Subsequently earning me secret brownie points, because let's face it, everyone likes thinking they are more important than a phone call. If I answer the phone call, well let's just say I'm looking for a quick escape.

"hello?" I answer the phone.

"Lassie, come quick! Timmy fell down the well and he needs to be rescued!" I hear Ashley's voice through the cell phone in faux panic.

"ash, slow down, is something wrong?" I ask just for the sake of Tara hearing my side of the conversation.

"it's 8:20 on the dot, as your best friend it is my official best friend duties to call you in case of the date going awry. And I'm guessing since you answered the phone things aren't going too well..."

"well are you alright? What did the paramedics say?" I ask with a tone of concern. I mouth the word 'sorry' to Tara just to make things seem real. The phone call typically is the same every time. However sometimes I do like to change it up; paramedics, fire fighters, security officers, police officers, etc. They all raise the same sort of panic.

"listen, since your date is going so badly do you think you could pick up some Pop Tarts on the way home? We're out because _someone_ finished them all this morning." Ashley tells me.

"of course, I'll be at the hospital in a few minutes" and from the corner of my eye I can see Tara's eyes widen in shock.

"and the Pop Tarts?" Ashley adds in quickly.

"okay, fine!" I mutter and end the phone call as soon as possible. "listen, I'm so sorry to do this, but my friend is in the hospital" I tell Tara as I pull out some money to pay for my drink and start gathering my things.

"is she alright?" she asks with real concern. Little does she know Ashley is probably calling from the bar just a few blocks away.

"I don't really know, apparently the doctors didn't say much, I just have to get to the hospital. I feel so terrible for ditching you like this. On our first date and all..." I stand up and throw my jacket on and toss my purse around my shoulder.

"no, of course, don't worry about it! Your friend sounds like she's seriously hurt. I hope she's okay." and there it is, her shy smile. Yet again.

"thank you. Listen, I'll give you a call after the craziness calms down a little." The perfect excuse seeing as she has no idea how to gauge the level of craziness in the given situation.

"sure thing." And before she can even say another word I'm already halfway out the door and running to hail a cab. A cab finally pulls over for me and just before I get into the car I give a small, frantic wave to Tara through the front window of the restaurant just to make sure she sees me actually leaving.

Before she can actually wave back I get in and shut the door.

"where to?" the driver asks as the car is already in motion.

"21st and Addison" I reply.

"21st and Addison, isn't that-"

"-just one block away? Yeah, in fact you can just drop me off here" I tell him as he already starts to pull over. We managed to make it about a block away from the restaurant which is far enough to be out of view of it. I take a look at the cab fare and it's only $1.75; a waste, yet totally worth the getaway car. I hand the driver a couple of dollars and get out of the car.

As soon as I get out I head straight for the convenience store to buy Ashley's dumb Pop Tarts and as soon as I pay for them I walk out of the store and into the next establishment right beside it. The good ole' watering hole, also known as our local bar. Of course this bar is the unofficial gay bar of our little area.

"hey Spencer" the bartender, Fitz Fitzgerald, says with a smile. But we just call him Fitz."can I fix you something?"

I spot Ashley down at the other end of the bar talking up some girl. I take a step out making myself noticeable to Ashley and give her a quick wave. "um, could you put these behind the bar somewhere?" I say handing him over the box of Pop Tarts. "...and see if Ashley wants anything" I give him a smirk knowing her knows what's up. I watch as Fitz walks down to the other end where Ashley is and asks if she or her friend would like another drink. I watch as the unknown girl politely declines followed by Ashley leaning in to quietly tell Fitz her order for me. Within just a minute Fitz places a drink in front of me.

"a cranberry vodka for the lady" he smiles.

I share a quiet chuckle with Fitz and take a sip of my drink. "oh god, she knows I hate this one..." I tell him.

"what are you talking about? This one is always amusing" he laughs too. I take another sip of my drink and put it back down.

"yeah? Amusing for who?" I ask as I start heading toward where Ashley is standing and I'm about to walk passed her when I stop. "Oh. Em. Gee." I completely interrupt Ashley and the girl she's trying to pick up.

"can we help you?" Ashley asks as if she's never met me before. It's all part of the charade really.

"aren't you Ashley Davies? Like _the_ Ashley Davies?" I ask in pure [fake] excitement. "Raife Davies' daughter?"

She plays coy and modest as she looks away pretending to be embarrassed. "the one and only"

At a glance you can see the girl she's with smile as she realizes that the girl trying to pick her up is sort of famous.

"oh my god! Can I get your autograph or a picture or something? Please? I'm such a huge fan of your dad's band, Purple Venom, and your music is amazing too!"

"yeah, sure, of course" she says grabbing a napkin from the bar. She takes out a pen from her purse and signs the napkin and hands it over to me.

"wow. Ashley Davies." I sigh dreamily to myself, but loud enough for her female friend to hear, as I walk away with her autograph in hand. Just as I'm walking away I overhear the girl tell Ashley how great it is to take time for her fans. I roll my eyes as I crumple up the napkin and toss it in to the nearest trash can.

Ashley came up with the drinks system last year. She usually spends her nights trying to pick up girls and the drinks system sort of acts as a code for us. Cranberry vodka means pretend to be a crazy fan of Ashley Davies to play her up in front of the girl she's hitting on. As degrading as it sounds, 9 out of 10 times it works. And what kind of best friend would I be if I didn't play wingman for my best friend?

I head back over to my seat and pick up my drink to finish it off.

"nice work" Fitz comments with a smirk.

"shut up." I reply. "tell me about this one" I ask Fitz, knowing very well as a bartender he listens a lot.

"her name's Jenny, 21, grew up in North Carolina, moved to Los Angeles to be an actress. Struggling actress, of course. And, just broke up with her girlfriend." He says as he leans on the bar to take a rest.

"I'm telling you, Ashley has a knack for picking the most insecure girls in the bar." I tell him as we both watch the two girls flirt incessantly.

"what's the call? One-nighter, phone number or brush off?" he asks as he pulls out a couple of beers for the other customers at the bar. Before I can even give an answer we watch as the girl grabs a napkin and Ashley's pen and writes her number down.

"looks like we have an answer" I comment. I look away as the girl walks passed me and out of the bar with a couple of friends. As soon as she's gone Ashley gets up and takes the seat next to mine with a sigh.

"should have sent me a gin and tonic. Gin and tonic always works" I tell her with a smile. "plus, gin and tonic tastes better than cranberry and vodka"

"gin and tonic does not always work" she tells me. "remember that night with the girl who had that thing?"

"okay that was one time. But look at every other time you used it... the girl with the curly hair who liked to do that thing, or the blonde who lived near that place, or what about the tall girl who once owned that stuff" I tell her and she knows exactly who I'm talking about.

"yeah, but the cranberry vodka is like old faithful. It portrays me as the beautiful and famous musician who is also very modest and down to earth. Plus I like to change it up a lot. One night cranberry vodka, the next maybe a screw driver, or sometimes a white wine spritzer." She tells me. All of these drinks are code for different wingman techniques.

"why do I always agree to your silly little games?" I ask her.

"because I supply you with the emergency-bad-date-phone-calls" she reasons with me as if it is completely obvious. Which I guess it is. "But enough about the liquor and my failures. How was your date? Is she the one? When's the wedding?" she asks, fully knowing that the so called emergency-bad-date-phone-call was necessary.

"you're funny. Really." I tell her sarcastically. "she wasn't as... entertaining as I expected her to be."

"she was an accountant. I didn't expect her to be entertaining at all!" she exclaims to both me and Fitz. "wait, wait, wait, let me guess... she _actually_ likes math"

"even in high school" I admit to both of them.

"who likes math in high school?" she laughs off. "who likes _anything_ in high school?" she adds.

"exactly!" I agree with her. It's reasons like that why she's my best friend. "So tell me about Jenny. Is she the one? When's the wedding?" I joke using her exact words.

"Jenny? Well she's hot..."

"...but?"

"her hair is too...brown" Ashley says with a bit of a scrunched up face.

"of course. You always do this. There is always something wrong with someone" I tell her. "god forbid someone's hair is too brown"

"it's true! It was like every strand had been perfectly coloured the exact same shade of brown." She explains.

"...are you even listening to what you're saying?" I ask her. "you're trying to tell me her hair is perfect? That's why you don't like her?"

"yes! I can't deal with someone with perfect hair. I need someone who can embrace bed head" she tells us. And I sit there for a moment and just stare at her.

"you'd still sleep with her, wouldn't you?" I finally ask.

She smiles and looks away from looking back at me. "Well, I mean, I could deal with perfect hair for _one_ night..." she admits not so shyly.

"you're a slut, I hope you know that" I tell her with a smirk as I take another sip out of my fruity cocktail.

"I'm a slut with standards!" she counters.

"a slut with _temporary_ standards" I correct her.

"standards, nonetheless" she tries to reason.

"slut, nonetheless" I once again correct her.

"Fitzy, get her another drink please. Her arguments are making far too much sense." She tells Fitz. "we need to get you drunk" she smiles at me.

"no, no, no, I've got work tomorrow morning. I've got to label all the tapes and log them into the system and then set them up for-"

"-all the more reason to get drunk tonight." Ashley cuts me off without hesitation. "Now, let's find you a girl!" she says and turns around in her stool to scope out the girls in the room. And before I can even tell her to stop she spots a girl sitting at the end of the bar. "Fitz, send a glass of champagne to the cute blonde from Spencer" she tells him and with a nod he's already pouring a glass and giving it to the blonde.

"Ash." I sigh.

"oh come on, it's tradition. After every bad date you come back here and I set you up with a girl that you talk with for an hour and then reject her at the end of the night when she invites you back to her place." She says. We watch as Fitz points to me as he talks to the red head and she gives me a small smile. "she gave you the smile. Champagne always works, god I'm good at this!"

And it's true. She really had mastered the art of breaking the ice. Never have I seen Ashley fail to strike up a conversation with a cute girl. Now, she might not have always been successful by the end of the night, but at least her ways didn't require her to use cheesy pick up lines or make a fool of herself. Usually all it really took was a good smile and a free drink. Neither of which were a problem for Ashley Davies. She had a beautiful smile and owned the bar we sit in every night. But the girls she picked up were never informed of the latter part. She knew that it meant more to a girl if she thought Ashley actually paid for their drinks. She also knew what kind of drinks to send. When you send a girl a glass of champagne it makes it seem like you think they're a classy girl and deserve nothing but the best.

"she's coming over here! I'm gone. I don't want her to think we're together or anything"

"fine, but stop picking up girls for me" I tell her and just like that she's gone and the blonde comes over with the drink.

"this seat taken?" she asks.

"Not at all." I tell her and she takes the seat next to me.

"thank you for the champagne"

"look, I know you're probably a really nice girl, and you're very attractive but I just got back from a bad date and my friend ordered that drink for you so that you would come over and talk to me so that I could flirt with you. And she's probably watching us right now thinking I'm trying to pick you up and sleep with you tonight. But the truth is I'm not that kind of girl and I just thought you should know that. I don't want to lead you on." I tell the cute blonde in what seems like just one breath.

"so...you're blowing me off." She says, but asks more like a question. "you don't even know my name. Actually, I don't even know your name"

"I'm Spencer."

"well Spencer, I'd like to say it was nice to meet you, but... _I don't want to lead you on_. Thanks for the drink." She says not too happily and starts to get out of the chair she's sitting in.

"wait." Now I just feel like a complete bitch. Luckily she pauses and sits back down. "I'm sorry. What's your name?"

"Maggie"

"well Maggie, let _me_ buy you a drink. For real this time." I tell her and wave Fitz over. "what would you like?"

"gin and tonic?" she asks as she looks from me, to Fitz, and then back to me.

And Fitz looks to me for my order. "make it two"

...

I shut the door behind me as I enter my apartment just a little after one in the morning. I quickly manage to kick off my shoes and toss my keys on the table just beside the door as I do every night.

"and?" Ashley asks from the couch as she hears me crawl in. "what's the verdict?" she asks with her eyes still glued to the TV.

I sit on the back of the couch and slide on down so that I've got my feet dangling over the back with my head just beside Ashley's lap. "she gave me her phone number" I finally tell her. "but, you know..."

"well it was a valiant attempt, you're still a rookie" she jokes as she gives me a little nudge. "look! Your favourite movie is on!" she says and I quickly attempt to turn over to clearly see the screen.

"Willy Wonka?" I asked excitedly.

"No, Angels In The Outfield"

I scoff as I fall back into my upside down position which I as most comfortable in. "that's _your _favourite movie" I correct her.

"oh, that's right" she fake chuckles to herself. "Well I could play out some of Willy Wonka for you" she offers, and before I can even reject her offer she starts singing. "Hold your breath, make a wish, count to three. Come with me, and you'll be, in a world of pure imagination-"

"-thank you, that's plenty. Let's leave the rest of the song for Gene Wilder to sing" I laugh at her as I manage to push myself up off the couch and in the direction of my bedroom.

"you're going to bed already?"

"I told you, I have work tomorrow morning." I tell her as I pause in the door frame of my bedroom. "I've got to log the ta-"

"-log the tapes, label the tapes, yeah yeah, I know. I do listen to you sometimes, you know."

"I know." I tell her as I walk into my room to change my clothes, leaving the door open so I can still talk to her. "so do you expect to hear back from _Jenny_ anytime soon?"

"within 24 hours" she says with a kind of confidence that I just can't seem to explain.

"you really think she's worth the one night stand?" I ask just as I head into the bathroom beside my room to brush my teeth.

"c'mon Spence, if you're seriously asking me that then you obviously don't know me all that well" she jokes. Sort of.

"well I'm just wondering. Is she worth the one night stand? Is she worth more than a one night stand? Don't you ever think about picking just one girl and being with her...for more than one night?"

"I'm 23, I don't think I should be tied down" she tells me.

"well, I'm 23, and I wouldn't mind being with just one person." I tell her.

"really? Is that why you're not going to call the girl from the bar?" she asks, finally diverting her gaze from the TV to me. I pause brushing my teeth for a second, a little caught off guard by her question.

"I don't know her that well" I shrug finally.

"that's sort of my point. If you don't know her how do you know she's not the one for you? You can't expect any of that love-at-first-sight bull shit."

"I just do. I can't explain it to you, I can't prove it to you, I can't give you a reason, but I know." I tell her and finally finish in the bathroom and head back into my bedroom. I climb into bed and before I can turn my bed side lamp off Ashley is standing in my door way.

"you realize that makes no sense whatsoever, right?" she asks as she crosses her arms and leans against the door frame.

"sure it does" I tell her as I give her a long hard stare waiting for her counter-argument, when I realize I'm not going to get one. "are you going to get in or what?" I ask her as I peel back the covers on the other side of the bed. She gives me a small smile and hops into the bed with me.

I turn off the lamp beside my bed, letting the moon light through the window act as the only light in the room.

"she could be the one, you know?" Ashley whispers to me, clearly referring to the girl from the bar.

"and Jenny could be the one for _you_" I whisper back.

"...but she's not." We both reply at the same time.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"fuck!" I shout as my eyes finally focus on the alarm clock that I forgot to set last night. I have all of 14 minutes to run to work now. I throw the sheets off my body and scramble out of bed, accidentally kicking Ashley on the way out. Oops. Forgot she was in there.

"owwhhh" she groans from under the pile of pillows and blankets she has buried herself in.

"I'm late! Sorry." I tell her as I quickly put on the closest jeans and shirt I can find. "Where's the hairbrush? Where's my bag? Where are my keys!" I franticly ask as I spin around the room trying to find everything at the same time.

"dresser, couch, by the door" Ashley mumbles from in her sleep. Even in a half-unconscious state she knows me so well.

I manage to find the hair brush and start brushing my hair all still while struggling to do up my jeans with one hand. I start hopping out of the room and over to the couch to grab my bag when I hear the front door start to open.

"hello?" Kyla says as she pokes her head through the door and then proceeds to come in.

"hi. I'm late. Sorry." I say as I grab my bag and make sure everything I need is in there.

"oh, okay. Do you want something to eat before you leave? I can make you toast or eggs or something?" Kyla offers.

"can't no time, sorry." I tell her as I look around feeling like I forgot something already.

"alright. Ashley up yet?" she asks.

And before I can even answer our eyes divert to Ashley who just walked out of my bedroom, without any pants on.

"Spence, have you seen my jeans?" she asks, still in a daze as she tries to wipe the sleep from her eyes. I notice Kyla's eyes go a little wide at the shock of seeing a half naked Ashley walk out of my room, but I don't have time for this.

"um..." I try to think, when I realize something. I look down to the jeans I am currently wearing and realize they're not actually mine. Ashley and Kyla both look to me and my jeans and I just shake my head. "I'm wearing them. Don't have time to change. What am I missing?" I ask Ashley frantically, knowing she would probably know.

"what were you doing in Spencer's room?" Kyla asks Ashley, and me indirectly.

"we were up late" Ashley says with a yawn. "watching Spencer's favourite movie, Angels in the Outfield"

"_your_ favourite movie" I pause to correct her and watch her smirk knowing fully-well what she did. "now what am I missing?" I ask frantically again.

"keys. By the door" she rolls her eyes, already forgetting about her pants and heading to the fridge for some food.

"keys, right!" I say and run to the door. I grab the keys and I'm already gone.

...

"hey ky, will you make me some eggs or something?" I ask with my head still buried in the fridge and my ass still cold from no pants. "Kyla?" I ask as soon as I hear no reply. I shut the door and before I can even turn around Kyla is already standing next to me, inches away from my face, with a creepy looking grin on her face.

"ugh!" I shriek quietly to myself at the closeness.

"so you and Spencer, eh?" she asks as her creepy grin fades into a cheeky grin.

"me and Spencer, _what_?" I ask as I take a seat on one of the two stool sitting beside the island in the kitchen.

"you know... you and _Spencer_" she hints and I still have no idea what she's talking about. "it's about time" her smile seems to grow – if that's even possible. "tell me all the details. Well not _all_. That's just kinda gross, you're my sister and stuff. But still, how did it happen?"

"Kyla, it's like 8:30 in the morning, I haven't had my coffee yet, and I have no idea what you're talking about" I tell her as I manage to bury my face in my hands praying for this agony of questions to be over.

"you and Spencer finally hooking up!"

"_what?_" I smile and her complete lack of ability to read the situation correctly. "did you fall and hit your head?" I chuckle to myself lightly.

"don't lie to me. You two totally did it last night. You both came out of her room, you're not wearing any pants, you're _smiling_! I know you two did it last night" she gets more and more excited as the words fall out of her mouth.

"what? No. I crashed in her room last night and I never wear pants to bed. And I'm smiling at your crazy idea that you think Spencer and I would ever hook up like that" I tell her as if she's crazy as I get up from my stool and head to my room to finally put pants on.

"oh would you just admit it already?" Kyla calls to me from the kitchen as I get changed in my room. "You and Spencer totally have the hots for each other. Don't think I haven't noticed the sexual chemistry you guys have together"

"sexual chemistry? Spencer and I have been best friends since high school. We're roommates. We're just compatible!" I explain to her trying to sort out this nonsense. Seriously. Me and Spencer?

"uh, _yeah_. Compatible as lovers." She says as if it's obvious. I poke my head out from my room and stare at her as I still try to button up my pants.

"you're actually insane. Spencer and I have always been just friends"

"oh come on, you're trying to tell me you've never once even thought about Spencer in that way?"

"no" I'm quick to answer.

"you've never noticed how you two spend every day together?"

"we live together, we kind of have to" I explain to her as I head back to the kitchen to get some food.

"okay what about how you know where she puts her hairbrush, purse, and keys?"

"she's predictable" I answer simply, once again burying my head into the fridge. I wonder if I could get Kyla to make me something.

"how about how you know what her favourite movie is?"

"she's my best friend, we're close. So what?" I tell her. "can you make me breakfast? This ridiculous interview is making me even hungrier"

"Ashley, stop trying to reason with every question. Face it, you two are meant for each other. It's why you always pick out the flaws with every date you have."

"I pick out flaws because I'm picky." I tell her as I realize she ignored my request for breakfast, so instead I reach for the top of the fridge and grab whatever cereal has the most sugar.

"then what was the last flaw you picked out of girl?"

I think back to yesterday I guess it was, "her hair was too brown" it was reasonable.

"exactly! Her hair was too brown because you like blondes. Like Spencer." Kyla tells me watching me pour my milk onto my cereal.

"oh come on, that's a bit of a stretch don't you think?"

"no, I don't! Because for as long as I've known you-"

"-which is only 5 years" I cut her off.

"as I was saying, for as long as I've known you, you and Spencer have always been _it_. And the rest of us, the people who see you guys every day, we're just waiting around for you two to realize it. You were best friends in high school, you were best friends when Spencer went to college, and you're still best friends _and_ roommates! Try and tell me that you and Spencer aren't made for each other. You know that you only pick out flaws in girls because you are _always_ comparing them to Spencer, because she is the one you really want."

"that's not true. I've never said I've wanted Spencer."

"then tell me, what _do_ you want? You can pick out all of these flaws from random girls saying what you don't want in a girl. So then what do you really want?"

"I don't know. A pretty girl. A pretty girl whose family I can get along with. A girl who can know my favourite meal and will surprise me with it when I'm hungry. A girl who _knows_ when I'm hungry. And she looks hot no matter what time of the day, and she nee-"

"-you do realize that Spencer fits everything you've described so far, right?"

"um, have you seen Spencer after a night of partying and drinking? The hangover look is not her best." I joke.

"who are you trying to kid? Spencer always looks great" Kyla reasons. Yeah, I guess she does. Damn that girl and her natural beauty.

"okay, so what if Spencer fits all of that? A million girls could fit that description." I tell her.

"it doesn't matter if you could find a million girls who fit everything you just said. At the end of the day a million girls still aren't Spencer. Her family likes you, and who better to know what your favourite food is than the roommate who stocks your fridge for you?"

"oh my god! My pop tarts. Forget cereal." I tell her as I slip on my flip flops by the door.

"what?" Kyla asks in confusion as she walks to the door with me.

"Spencer ate all of my pop tarts yesterday so I told her to pick up some more. They're behind the bar, so I'm going to go grab those. I've got to help Fitz get the bar ready anyways."

"but what about this whole Spencer thing?" she asks.

"ugh, if I promise to seriously think about it will you leave me alone?"

"that's all I'm asking." She smiles and walks out the door behind me.

"just don't get your hopes up, kay?" I make sure to tell her.

"yeah, yeah. Look I'm just saying. I'm your sister, we're close, what's my favourite movie?" she asks and before I can even answer she is already walking down the stairs and out of the building. It's a good thing too, because it just helps me realize something.

I have no idea.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"...hey Fitz?" I ask sort of nonchalant as I sit atop the bar eating my Pop Tarts in a daze as he unloads the clean glasses from the dishwasher.

"yeah?" he replies as he just carries on what he's doing.

"what do you think of Spencer?" okay I know it's a stupid question, but ever since Kyla left half an hour ago it's all I can think about. What if what she said was right? Am I crazy to even start thinking about this? It's not like Spencer has ever showed any signs that _she_ likes _me_.

She hasn't right?

"what do you mean?" he asks this time actually making eye contact with me as he puts the glasses under the bar

"I mean like...what do you think about her?" I rephrase, really not clearing anything up.

"she's cool. Her taste in friends is a little questionable though" he pokes fun at me.

"Hey, watch it, remember I control your pay checks." I shoot him a playful glare. "but I mean really, she's pretty great right?" I ask seriously this time, as if there's ever actually been any doubt in my mind that Spencer is anything short of awesome.

"are we talking Charlie-Sheen-winning kind of great or more like Lindsay-Lohan-didn't-steal-a-necklace kind of great?" he jokes and I can't help but smile and roll my eyes at the same time. "what's this all about?" Fitz asks me as he puts the glasses down and leans over the bar right beside me.

"Kyla came over this morning and went on this rant about how Spencer and I are like soul mates or something. She's crazy right?" I ask and just as I expect Fitz to agree with me I am met with silence. "..._right?"_ I ask again.

"look, I can't really say much because I'm pretty sure disagreeing with you breaks some sort of clause in that contract I signed when you hired me, but I don't know... it doesn't really seem like that big of a stretch."

"seriously?" I ask as I sit there and ponder with my Pop Tart in hand.

"you two just...work well." He tried to tell me as he awkwardly tries to demonstrate by clasping his hands together.

"but as like..._more than friends_...?" I ask softly. For some reason this really baffles me. I've never even remotely thought about Spencer that way and now it's got me all flustered.

"look, do you like Spencer?"

"of course, she's my best friend." I retaliate quickly.

"well if you can honestly say she's your best friend and you can never picture her in that way then you're meant to be friends. But if there's the slightest bit if a chance that you could see yourself with her, then maybe it's worth taking the risk. You're not exactly just going to find a random girl on the street who knows you as well as Spencer does, or makes you laugh like Spencer does, or who will buy you Pop Tarts in the middle of the night" he says with a joking smile as he picks up the box of pop tarts beside me. "these are junk by the way" he adds.

"hands off the Pop Tarts" I warn him. "I don't know, Spencer and I are roommates, what if I do say something and it screws everything up? 'oh hey, I'm in love with you, see you at home later!' no, this is stupid."

"no one said anything about _love_." He smirks.

"shut up, smartass." I bite back. "you know what I mean."

"I do know what you mean" he agrees. "but I also know that you wouldn't be this concerned about it if you didn't think it was true." Fitz says as he goes back to unloading all of the glasses.

Just as I'm about to reason with his argument, as I have done so many times today, I feel my phone vibrating in my back pocket. I look at the caller I.D. only to see Spencer's name flash across the screen. "oh my god it's her" I freak a little as I quickly toss my phone onto the bar top. "she knows we're talking about her!" I panic. Spencer's always had a sixth sense for stuff like that.

"no she doesn't" Fitz rolls his eyes. "are you going to answer it or what?"

"No! What if Kyla called her after she left my place? What if Spencer is calling to say how ridiculous the whole idea is? I'd look like such a fool for even thinking that she could ever like me like that! Oh my god, I'm so stupid. Spencer is never going to like me like that. What was I thinking? I'm going to kill Kyla..."

Just as I end my panicky rant of stupidity the phone finally stop vibrating on the table. I let a deep breath I didn't even realize I was holding in. But before I can even say anything more the phone starts vibrating again. It's her. Calling for a second time.

"answer it" Fitz tells me again.

"_ohmygodIcan't_" I say so fast it's barely understandable. I watch as Fitz rolls his eyes again and snatches the phone from the table. "no, what are you doing?" I yell but before I can grab my phone back he already answers it.

"hey Spencer, it's Fitz" he smiles. "yeah, she's right here, one sec." Fitz holds the cell phone out to me and I push it back to him. He pushes it back to me and yet again I push it away. "answer it" he whispers harshly.

"no!" I whisper back.

"Just do it!" he says and somehow he manages to push my arms out of the way and holds the phone to my ear.

"hello? Ash?" I can hear Spencer say through the phone. I finally give in and take the phone into my hands.

"hey Spence... what's up?" I answer cautiously.

"hey what's with Fitz answering your phone?" she asks.

"oh, I was just busy unloading some of the glasses. I am the bar owner after all, can't let Fitz take all the credit you know?" I joke and I hear Fitz let out a loud "HA." in the background.

"yeah, right." She laughs. I knew she wouldn't believe it. "listen, do you think we could have dinner together tonight and talk? There's something I want to tell you."

"talk over dinner?" I repeat aloud. And just as I do, I can feel my stomach drop and my heart start beating faster. I glance to my right to see Fitz raise his eyebrow and smirk at my plans for tonight. "um, I'm not sure, I think Fitz might be short handed tonight so he asked me to help w-" before I can finish telling Spencer my fake excuse Fitz grabs my phone from my hand and pushes me off the top of the bar where I fall to the floor. "ow!"

"hey Spence?" he talks into the phone. "yeah, don't worry about the bar tonight. Ashley is free for dinner. Seven o'clock? She'll be there. Bye Spence" he says and hangs up. And for some reason all I could do was just lie on the floor of the bar.

"you know, I'm pretty sure pushing your boss off of the bar breaks some sort of clause in that contract you signed when I hired you."

"I have no recollection of said clause" he smirks.

"I hate you." I mutter from on my back.

"You're welcome." he says and goes back to work.

"so this dinner tonight..." I open up to Fitz as I pick myself up off the floor.

"don't you mean date?" he smirks.

"not a date. We've had dinner before, just the two of us. It's not a big deal." I tell him calmly even though I'm mildly freaking out on the inside. "it's not a date" I repeat to myself, just for assurance.

Fitz pauses what he's doing and raises an eyebrow at me. Just one eyebrow. And it's like that slightest eyebrow raise fills me with so much doubt.

"it's not..." I say meekly as a nibble at my Pop Tarts a little more and pull out my cell phone again. Pressing speed dial number 2 I wait for the ring.

"Kyla, I think I have feelings for Spencer..." I say admittedly.

Feelings are confusing. Even if they are feelings you didn't even know you had.

...

"you're late." My boss, Stephen, tells me as I burst through the office door into the video editing equipment rule.

"sorry, I slept in" even though I shouldn't really be apologizing. It's Saturday morning after all.

"okay, well I need you to load all the tapes into the system and we've got to add the tracks to the background of it so you'll have to load the cuts into the system as well. I think Derek printed off a list of which tracks go with which scenes. It should only take a few hours." Oh great, just a few hours. Which means I'll be here all day, while he ducks out before lunch. If you haven't noticed, my boss is kind of a dick. "by the way, Derek said he wanted to see you in his office when you came in"

"Derek said that?" Derek being my boss' boss.

"yeah, so you might want to head in there... like, now." Stephen says and without even saying another word I walk out the door and toward Derek's office. Shit, I can't believe I slept in this morning. Derek probably came in and saw that I wasn't here and now he's pissed. Great.

No big deal really, I'm just going to lose my job, have no income, can't buy food, can't pay for rent – which isn't really a problem since Ashley usually covers rent anyways, can't land a girlfriend because let's face it, who wants to date the unemployed lesbian? This is perfect. I'm going to lost my shitty job that I hate but secretly love. All because I was 5 minutes late to work.

"Derek, you wanted to see me?" I ask as I poke my head into his office, secretly praying that he's too busy to even see me.

"yeah, Spencer come in, close the door behind you." He tells me. Close the door behind me? Yeah, I'm for sure getting canned. I close the door slowly, prolonging this entire meeting. I take a seat in his messy office as he just puts a few tapes back on shelf behind his desk. "I'm going to make this as short as possible mostly because I hate coming in on Saturdays to do work." Well at least it's going to be a quick firing.

"do you like working Saturdays?" he flat out asks me. Not really where I was expecting this conversation to head.

"I uh..." how do I answer this? Does anyone like working on Saturdays?

"I hate it" he says before I can answer. "but I've noticed you here a lot on Saturdays." Oh just every Saturday for the last 3 months or so.

"I guess" I meekly reply. I'm so nervous right now. Can a person get fired for working too many Saturdays?

"_you guess_? Well Spencer, I think you work harder than any other employee we have here. So _I guess_ it's pretty obvious what we should do about it." Is he going to cut back my hours or something? Cause I actually do need the money.

"...and what would that be?" I ask cautiously.

"look, I'm going to level with you Spencer. You're a very valued employee around here and we don't want to see you leave our company to work for another cinematography firm..."

"you don't...?" I am so confused. "I thought you called me into your office to fire me" I tell him flat out.

"fire you? Spencer, I'm promoting you" he says as if it should be obvious.

A promotion. I'm getting promoted. This isn't quite processing through my head.

"sorry, could you repeat that?" I ask.

"Spencer, you're not getting fired. We're promoting you" he says with a large smile and it's like the smile just spread to me because I can feel this huge grin just appear on my face.

Derek kept me in his office for a few more minutes just to talk logistics and pay and title and all that fun stuff, but to be honest it was all just kind of a blur. As soon as I step out of his office I give him a quick handshake and close the door behind me. Without even heading back to my office I pull out my cell phone.

I've got to call Ashley.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

As soon as I hang up the phone I realize I'm still so antsy. I start pacing back and forth in the hall way trying to figure out what to do next. Who can I call next? I can tell my family tomorrow when I see them. I'll call Kyla. She knows how much a promotion would mean to me. Without even thinking about it my fingers start dialling her number.

"Hey Spencer, I had a feeling you'd call me. Tell me the good news!" she says, sounding almost as excited as I am.

"how did you know I had good news?"

"Ashley just called me!"

"but I didn't even tell Ashley what my good news was..." I say a little confused.

"well it's kind of obvious, don't you think?" she asks.

"I didn't think so. Hell, even I was surprised today when I found out." I tell Kyla, still not entirely following the conversation.

"wait, she already told you?" Kyla pauses to ask. "I didn't think she'd tell you over the phone, but I mean, she seemed pretty nervous on the phone when she called me a few minutes ago. But you sound pretty excited about you guys so I'm guessing it's a reciprocal thing. God, I'm so happy that you two are together now. It's about time..."

And I pause to think. Me and Ashley together? What?

"we're _what_?" okay, now I _know_ we're not talking about the same thing anymore.

"wait, what are you talking about?" Kyla asks, starting to realize we are not talking about the same thing.

"I'm talking about how I got a promotion at work today." I slip in, suddenly this promotion is no longer my topic of interest. "what do you mean Ashley and I are together. Like in a relationship-_relationship_?"

"a promotion? Congrats Spencer! You totally deserve it. I know you've wor-"

"-Kyla!" I cut her off. And I'm met with silence on the other end of the line. "was Ashley...supposed to tell me something?" I ask softly, the tone of the conversation changing completely.

"you didn't hear this from me. But Ashley called me just a few minutes before you did. She told me she had feelings for you." Kyla tells me.

"Ashley. Like _my_ Ashley. My best friend - has feelings for me?" I ask totally at a lost. "you're crazy. Ashley and I are friends. Best friends. We're not in love with each other or anything."

"say what you will, but she made it very clear a few minutes ago that she loves you."

"you're lying." I say flat out. Ashley doesn't have feelings for me. She's just my friend. And we're close. That doesn't mean we're in love. But I mean, it's not like I'm inside of Ashley's head. I don't really know what she's thinking. What if she really does have feelings for me and just hasn't ever said anything. No, I'm just being crazy. But what if she really is. What do I even say to that? It's not like Ashley and I could ever be together. Could we? No, this insane. She can't be. Well she probably isn't. I guess there could be the slightest chance. "what else did she say?" I ask quickly just to stop the debate in my head.

"not much. There was a lot of mumbling about a dinner tonight, but I definitely heard that she likes you."

"...are you sure?" I ask simply.

"I talked to her about this morning after you left for work" Kyla informs me. "I know my sister, Spencer. And I know she really has feelings for you."

"Kyla, I've got to go."

Maybe she's going to tell me tonight over dinner. Well this sort of makes my promotion news pale in comparison. I can imagine the conversation now. 'oh hey Ashley, I got a promotion at work today!' 'oh hey Spencer, I'm in love with you!'.

I just don't understand any of this. I can't wrap my head around it. Our friendship has meant the world to me, but I've never even thought twice about Ashley in a romantic way. And now she loves me? I wonder how long she's been thinking about this. Like is this something that she's thought about for a day? A week? A month? A year? Since high school?

If she tells me that she has feelings for me tonight what am I supposed to say?

Ashley has never wanted a relationship. And now she's preparing to tell me she has feelings for me? If she does tell me am I going to tell her I think we should be friends and make it awkward? Should I tell her I have feelings for her too?

_Do I have feelings for her too?_

Ashley is the only person in my life to be there with me through it all. Through the torments of high school, the struggle with my family, through prom, moving out of home, moving to downtown Los Angeles, through four years of college, getting my first real job. She has always been there. And realistically, she's always been that girl I've been searching for. All I've ever wanted from a relationship was someone to be there for me. And who better than my best friend who has never left my side? She's beautiful, funny, talented, smart and already cares about me more than anyone ever could.

But does all of that mean that I have feelings for her too? Do I want her to tell me she loves me tonight? Do I want to tell her the same thing?

All of a sudden, this promotion seems pretty meaningless.

...

"Fitz!" I call out almost angrily, not even caring if he's already dealing with other customers. "two shots of jack." I request and he pauses to stare for a second.

"isn't tonight your date with Spencer?" he asks as he glances down at my little black dress I'm wearing that I only put on for special occasions.

"it's not a date!" I'm quick to flip. "I'm kind of nervous about tonight and I just need a couple of drinks to calm me down. So the shots. Please." I tell him and he pulls out a couple of shot glasses and pours them for me before going back to the other customers. I quickly take one shot right after the other, trying to avoid the immediate terrible taste and burning of the liquor. "Fitz!" I call out again. He turns back at me and gives a bit of a stern frown. He gives me the 'hold-on-a-second' hand gesture and I roll my eyes.

Spencer is going to be here in less than half an hour and whatever conversation that follows may or may not define our relationship for the rest of our lives. Sick of waiting after only thirty seconds, I stand myself up on the foot railing of the bar stool and reach over the bar to grab the bottle of jack. I pour myself two more shots and put the bottle back before Fitz can even notice it.

"care to share?" I hear a feminine voice to my left. I give her a quick look then I proceed to take one of my shots.

"nope" I tell her as I take my second shot, cringing at the horrible taste and feeling.

"you never called me." She tells me as she takes a seat next to me.

"I don't call girls, they call me" I tell her in all honesty.

"looks like we share the same philosophy. Hence, why I'm here right now. In person." She says with a little grin, the grin that probably drew me into her in the first place.

"listen, brown haired beauty, I'm sort of waiting on someone to meet me and I'm kind of busy calming my nerves here" I tell her as I motion towards the empty shot glasses. The jack is clearly already hitting me. "so why don't you take your perfect brown hair and pick up some other girl?" god I'm a bitch when I'm nervous and drunk.

"my name is Alex. Remember? And I like a challenge." She tells me quietly, using it as an excuse to get closer to me. "unless it's your girlfriend you're waiting for."

I pause and I look at her to think. When has Ashley Davies ever had a girlfriend? But I guess the better question is 'could there be?' This whole night has me pretty screwed up. Does Spencer want me? Do I want Spencer? What if one of us likes the other but it's not reciprocated. This whole unrequited love thing is just too cliché for me sometimes. But if I tell her how I feel will it be worth the risk? How do I feel?

I hate myself for not knowing what I want. This whole situation is just so confusing. _Too_ fucking confusing.

"there's no girlfriend" I tell her honestly. I look to Alex for her reaction and as the two shots of jack set in I realize her hair isn't all that brown, I guess.

"In that case, let's get some more shots" she grins and reaches for the bottle of Jack on the other side of the bar top.

...

Shit, I'm so late, Ashley is going to kill me. But I mean it's only half an hour right? I sort of had to stop off on the way home to get a new outfit. Well just a new dress. I think a little black dress was needed for tonight. Plus I stopped off at Burrito Boys on the way back. Well sort of on the way back, it's technically in the opposite direction but Ashley loves it, I figure I can use it as a bargaining tool for when I explain to her that I'm late. I quick step it around the corner and just as I do I see a large crowd of people head into the bar.

I pause and look into the reflection of the glass window of the empty shop beside me. What am I doing? I'm in a brand new dress, about to go talk to my best friend and hopefully walk out of there with a girlfriend. My best friend. My roommate. My _everything_. Is it all really worth the risk? After tonight there is no in-between, there is no do-overs, no rewinds, no going back. It's either go forward or go backwards.

And then I realize I'm looking in the reflection of a glass window. And yes, I get that I'm looking at myself and fixing myself up before going in, but that's the thing. Ashley makes me want to do this. She makes me want to look my best to impress her. My hands are shaking, my heart is racing, and I've got this smile that hasn't left my face since this morning. If there's anything that I'm ever sure of, it's this.

I take one last look in the window and head straight for the bar which seems to be extra busy tonight. This place is just too small for its popularity. I manage to finally squeeze my way to the bar knowing I won't be able to just see Ashley in the crowd.

"Fitz!" I call out with a smile. Damn my dead give aways. "hey, have you seen Ashley around here?" I ask.

"um" he pauses frantically, trying to pour a few cocktails for some girls at the bar. "yeah, I saw her around before." He says not too excitedly. "I think she took off a while ago"

"oh, I was supposed to meet up with her for dinner, but I screwed up and lost track of time. I'm going to check upstairs, thanks!" I tell him as I dart for the door before I can barely finish my sentence.

"Spencer, wait." He calls me back.

"yeah?" I ask with a hopeful smile on my face.

But then I really stop to look at Fitz. He takes a pause and tells me "she might have been drinking a little" with a sad smile. And I don't respond. I don't reply. I don't say a word. I don't even let my emotions change. I hold on just for a few more seconds. Because maybe it wasn't a sad smile, maybe it was something else. Maybe Ashley is sitting upstairs waiting for me right now. I walk up stairs and quickly open up the door, fast food in one hand, keys in the other. As I walk in I notice all of the lights are on, obviously someone is home.

"Ashley?" I call out. But hear no reply. I walk toward the open kitchen, placing the food down on the counter top. "Ashley?" I call out again, this time not as loudly. I walk to the other side of the apartment where her bedroom is and just as I glance inside I can see through the darkness Ashley in bed.

And not alone.

I quickly back out of the door frame going unnoticed and I head back toward the kitchen. My feet move so quickly back to the front door before the rest of my body can even grasp what just happened. But before I know it my body starts catching up. My heart starts beating faster, but in a more painful way. My stomach is tied in knots but as if guilt-stricken. My eyes start burning a little as tears form in the corners. My hands are no longer shaking, but my head is clouded, overrun with thoughts of disappointment and stupidity and even hatred. Before I even realize it I'm out the front door and already walking back down the stairs into the bar.

In a haze in my head I see Fitz at the bar, too busy to even talk. So I take a seat at a table towards the back of the bar, away from the madness of the crowds trying to get a little alcohol.

How could I even think Ashley would be in love with me?

Before I can let my thoughts completely take over I pull out my cell phone in a last attempt to not be alone.

I press the phone to my ear, playing with the leftover cardboard coaster left on the table. As my fingers linger on the edges of it the ringing in my ear becomes more apparent. Finally I get an answer.

"hey Maggie? it's Spencer from the bar last night...yeah, I was just wondering if maybe you wanted to meet up for a drink? I know it's kind of last minut-...yeah, I'm actually here right now...great, I'll see you soon then"

If Ashley doesn't want to be with me tonight, I'll find someone who does.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

*I know it's been forever since I've posted anything, but I was inspired these last couple days so enjoy a few chapter updates. By the way, in the previous chapter I accidentally said the brunette from the bar's name was Alex, but I actually meant Jenny. Whoops…

"...I really enjoyed talking to you tonight. It's been a while since I've been able to do that with someone." I literally spent the last 6 hours getting to know Maggie. Maggie McKnight. 24 years old, blonde, half-Scottish/half-Irish, whole-perfect. She lives 3 blocks away from here, she just finished medical school and is already working as a doctor at the Children's Hospital in LA. Her parents love her, she has two younger sisters, and lives in her own apartment. She's smart, she's beautiful, she's financially stable, she knows where her life is going, and she's single. I'd be crazy to think she's anything but perfect.

"did you like it enough to do it again...?" she asks giving me a smile that I couldn't turn down even if I wanted to. Even after an entire night of no sleep she still has game. "well I mean, not specifically this again, not that this wasn't nice, but maybe we could go out for dinner?"

"dinner?" I ask.

"yeah, I mean I know there's the whole 'wait three days before you call' rule, but I've never been one for patience or mind games. Plus, who knows how many offers a girl like you could get in three days. I didn't want to take the chances. And...we should celebrate that promotion of yours the right way" even her rambling has game.

"I'd love to go to dinner with you" oddly enough, she's one of the few girls in Los Angeles that I actually want to go out on a date with.

"yeah? Great." She smiles as if she's just won a race.

"I'll probably be a little busy for the next night or so catching up on sleep but how does the next night work for you?" I ask this time.

"It sounds perfect." She says and pauses. She just can't seem to stop smiling. And I guess it's contagious, because neither can I. "anyways, I should get going. I feel like I haven't slept for over a day" she jokes.

"that's _so_ weird, me too" I joke with her as I walk her out. "good night, Maggie."

"good _morning_, Spencer" she smiles and heads out of the bar. I close the door behind her locking it and turning straight around to walk through the back entrance to my apartment upstairs. I can't seem to wipe this little smile off my face. I haven't smiled like this since... well, technically about 8 hours ago when this smile was reserved for none other than my best friend. And as I'm climbing the stairs to my apartment the smile seems to drain from my face.

I completely forgot about the whole Ashley thing for the last few hours. Great, and now I have to deal with everything. This is going to be awkward. Well maybe it won't be. No one actually confessed their feelings for one another, so that means it won't be awkward, right?

RIGHT?

I open the apartment door, feeling like a zombie as my lack of sleep is starting to kick in. Just as I walk in and about to turn on the light I feel another body completely crash into me, knocking us both to the floor. Great, now we're getting robbed at 4 in the morning. I don't have the energy for this.

"what the fuck?" I yell without even thinking. I scramble to stand up and turn on the light only to reveal some random girl trying to pick herself up off the floor. "who the fuck are you?" I yell, once again without thinking.

"um" she says, obviously still in a daze.

"sorry, I don't know an 'um', got another name?" I ask with every word dripping with sarcasm with a hint of bitterness.

"what's going on?" I hear Ashley's voice as she runs out of her bedroom still trying to put her robe on.

"does she belong to you?" I ask, all of a sudden I'm so angry. But can you blame a girl? I've had no sleep and just got tackled to the ground.

"this is Jenny" Ashley says as she helps _Jenny_ off of the floor.

"looks like my sneak out could use a little more _sneak_" she jokes, as she grabs her purse and stands there awkwardly.

"yeah, it could also use a little more _out_" I tell her and open the front door to kick her out. She glances between me and Ashley and then quickly heads out the door in silence.

"well that was a little rude" Ashley says to me as soon as I shut the door.

"excuse me if I don't like being rammed by your one night stands as I'm entering my own home" I tell her, heading for my bedroom. "don't forget we've got my parents lunch barbeque thing at noon. I'm going to go take a nap." We go to my parents' house every Sunday for family lunch, Ashley has always been considered family to us.

"wait, are you just getting in now?" she asks with concern and a little frustration as she follows me to my bedroom.

"yeah. I am." I answer curtly.

"well where were you?" As soon as she asks this I turn around in my doorframe nearly crashing into Ashley who was closer than I thought. She stops abruptly and waits for my answer.

"I spent the night talking to Maggie for your information" I tell her and clearly she realizes I'm pissed off.

"that girl from the other night?" she asks still in a daze, most likely incredibly hung over…or still drunk, I really don't know and I really don't care.

"Look, I'm really tired, I came home last night expecting to have dinner with you but instead found you in bed with some random girl" I say, just about ready to slam the door on her face. I watch as the guilt washes over her face and suddenly finds the floor so interesting.

"I'm sorry Spencer, I didn't mean to just bail on you last night" she says quietly. "I just…." She whispers as if she has something important to say, and I stay silent in case she brings up everything about last night. She cuts herself off and instead simply tells me "you look beautiful in your dress" she smiles lightly and I look down realizing I'm still in my black dress I bought especially for last night.

I let out an inward sigh of disappointment.

"I'm going to sleep. We'll leave for my parents' around 11:15, I just need to get in some sort of rest before we see them" I say and she gives me a slight nod. "by the way, I brought dinner home last night. Um, I picked up burritos from that place you like…"

"…my favourite" she whispers and it looks like it almost kills her to say that.

"I know" I whisper back and without another word I slowly close the door on her, no longer leaving an open invite for her to crash in my room with me.

I woke up around 10am to get up and shower and get ready before leaving to see my parents. The 6 extra hours of sleep would have been helpful, if I could have actually slept through it peacefully. But no, my body just had to keep waking me up every hour to think about what happened. I feel so confused, am I happy or am I upset? I should be happy considering I have a date with the perfect woman in a couple days, but I'm so upset with Ashley.

But am I upset with her because she stood me up for dinner or because I actually have feelings for her?

Okay, welcome to the conversation I had with myself every time I woke up last night. Fuck, I hate being this confused. It's like coming out all over again!

"let's go!" I yell into the apartment, and not pleasantly. I have every reason to be unpleasant this morning. I barely got any sleep last night, I have to spend the whole day with Ashley, who I'm less than thrilled with, and I look like absolute shit as a result of all of this.

"yeah, yeah, I'm coming" Ashley mumbles as she walks out of her bedroom dressed and ready to go, already wearing her black aviators the classic hung-over-Ashley sign.

We head down stairs in silence, walking through the closed bar doing the morning nod to which ever few employees are here cleaning up for later tonight. Out the doors we hang a right to walk down the sketchy alley to a small back lot, which has a garage. Sliding the loud garage door open I see the slightest smile on Ashley's face appear. The same one that appears every time she gets to use her corvette. Being in downtown L.A. means too much traffic to drive so we walk most places instead. Let's be honest, I live within walking distance of my job and Ashley lives above her bar, where else do we need to go?

I think part of why Ashley loves going to family lunch every Sunday is because she gets to drive this car. And to be completely honest, I love riding shotgun. It's an expensive, comfortable car, who wouldn't love to ride in it? She gets in the car and starts it up as she puts on her seat belt. She drives it out a few feet until she's parked in the alley at which point I toss my bag in the back seat and move to shut the garage door behind us. I get in the passenger side and we're off on our 40 minute drive to my parents' house.

We drove in silence for that 40 minutes, neither of us were really in the mood to talk considering the previous night's events. Even if I weren't sleep deprived and even if Ashley wasn't completely hung over I probably still wouldn't want to talk about it. At some point during the day I'm sure I'll end up bringing it up, but for now I think it's best we just but on a happy face and visit my parents.

We've been doing these lunches with them for a few months now. Usually every Sunday Ashley and I drive to my parents' house to have lunch with them and Glen. It's free food and it's pretty much mandatory, I don't see them too often since I moved out so my mom had a hard time letting me go. And to be honest I miss them a lot too, especially the nice home-cooked meal. Ashley always comes with me because she's been with our family ever since high school when we moved to Los Angeles, she's been my best friend for 6 years, meaning she's been apart of the family for 6 years.

As we pull up to my house and park on the curb we walk through the front door without even knocking. "hello?" I call out into the house, even though I know everyone is either in the kitchen or backyard.

"hey" Glen greets us as he comes down the stairs and joins us en route to the kitchen. "whoa, what happened to you two?" he asks, referring to our appearance.

"long night" Ashley and I both answer at the same time miraculously. We pause and look at each other for a second only to ignore it. We've said a million things at the same time by accident, it really isn't anything special anymore.

"hi Paula" Ashley greets my mom as we step onto the terrace in the backyard which is already conveniently set up for lunch.

"my girls are here!" my mom exclaims. She gets lonely living in a house with 2 boys. She comes over giving us both a hug at the same time. My mom really does consider Ashley one of the family.

"where's Arthur?" Ashley asks. "I haven't eaten in two days in preparation for this meal" she jokes, and just like magic my dad comes out from the kitchen.

"then Ashley you're in luck because we have a feast for lunch" my dad jokes with his 'kiss the chef' apron still on.

"like music to my ears" she smiles as she takes a seat, removing her sunglasses out of courtesy and hooking them onto her jeans.

Once we all settle into the meal my mom always likes to take the time to catch up on our lives in downtown LA. We call it the weekly interrogation.

"So, Ashley, Spencer….are there any special girls in your life?" she asks cheekily. Same question every week. And before I can even answer Ashley answers for both of us.

"not me, but Spencer has a new friend" Ashley hints at with such little enthusiasm. I freeze at the mention of it and shoot Ashley a glare. She has no reason to act like that if I'm seeing someone new.

"oh…?" Paula asks, suddenly very interested in my love life.

"is she hot?" Glen asks to break the tension between Ashley and I, which I'm sure everyone but my mom noticed.

I completely ignore Glen…and Ashley for that matter, and explain to my mom. "Her name's Maggie, we're just friends right now." And I take this moment to seek revenge on Ashley, if she's going to be bitter I'm going to give her every reason to be.

"Actually, Maggie's a doctor, mom. She's in her last year of residency" I smile to my mom, almost boasting and I can see from the corner of my eye Ashley stops eating.

"a doctor?" my dad finally speaks up. "oh now you've got to marry this girl" my dad jokes knowing my mom has always wanted me to date a doctor. Given she always wanted me to date a male doctor but she gave up on that dream a while ago.

We all take note that my mom tries to contain her excitement, but let's be real here, she's absolutely terrible at it. "She sounds very nice" my mom comments. "any idea which medical field she's in?"

"didn't get a chance to ask really" I mention.

"what did you say her name was?" she questions further.

"mom" I warn her. "don't go pulling any strings trying to meet her and hook her up with me. And don't even _try_ to deny that you wouldn't because we all know you would" I point my fork at her and the other 3 start snickering at us.

"what's so bad with me trying to get to know the young lady my daughter is interested in?" my mom defends herself and I just shake my head ignoring her.

"I didn't even come today to talk about her, I have even better news." I smile and my parents pause waiting for the good news, Glen and Ashley still shoving food into their mouth as if they haven't eaten for weeks. "I got a promotion at work!"

"oh Spence that's great!" my dad comments and now Ashley stops eating and accidentally drops her fork.

"I'm so glad Spencer" My mom adds. "you work really hard at that job"

"congrats Spence" Glen comments with a mouthful of food, not actually caring that much.

"you never told me that" Ashley states, actually quite surprised.

"I was going to tell you over dinner last night…but I guess we both kind of got distracted by other things" I tell her, not even looking at her, keeping my focus on my food. Once again tension fills the room because of me and Ashley and I think we all realize it.

"you've really outdone yourself with these burgers, Arthur" Ashley smiles to him trying to break the silence.

"why thank you Ashley, you know I always save my chef skills for Sunday lunches for you" he smiles at her. "the secret is to marinate the burgers with just a hint of barbeque sauce before taking them off the barbeque."

"nononono, don't spoil the secrets now" Ashley tells him, trying to cover her ears. "if you teach me your ways Spence just might expect me to _actually_ cook something at home" she jokes, and even I can't help but smile at that one. Ashley burns everything. _Everything_.

"oh hey Spence, do you remember your cousin Lacey?" Mom asks.

"Uncle Chuck's daughter?" I ask trying to recall the girl 5 years younger than myself. I remember her back from Ohio before we moved. She had short, choppy hair that looked like it was cut by her mother in the dark, terrible braces and was clumsier than a drunk Ashley on ice. Glen, Clay and I used to call her Lackluster Lacey behind her back.

"that's the one" my dad butts in. "well we got a call from your Aunt Kelly the other day saying Lacey was accepted into UCLA so she'll be moving into the city within the week. She got an apartment on her own not too far from where you girls live" he smiles. Oh god, kill me now. They want me to show her around the city and become friends with her.

"…._and_" Glen hints toward our parents. Shit, there's more? He has this smirk on his face that I just can't pinpoint. Something tells me he remembers what she looked like too.

"well Kelly may have mentioned, through some tears, that Lacey came out to her…" my dad mentions. Ah shit. I don't like where this is going. "And we might have told her how we've been through the same situation and have come to accept everything." Oh okay, that's not so bad then. "and how you would help Lacey adjust to being gay in Los Angeles." He slips in.

"_Dad!"_ I bite back at him and I know he's been expecting it this entire time.

"Spencer we're not asking you to do anything" my mom tries to calm me down. Which is a huge lie, I know they expect me to hold her hand through it all. "just maybe go out for dinner with her one night…"

"oh come on… I just got promoted, I'm busy with work and with Maggie, _the doctor_" I emphasize trying to get on my parents' good side.

"I'll show her around" Ashley shrugs as she takes a sip of her lemonade. "she _is_ 18, _right?"_ she asks with a small smirk and Glen is the only one at the table to actually laugh at her joke. My parents sort of already know Ashley is popular amongst the ladies.

"Spencer, please." my mom is quick to say and this time the rest of us laugh out loud.

"ugh" I sigh, "okay, fine. I'll call her this week"

"thank you, sweetie" my dad tells me.

"hey Ash, how about a game of ball after lunch?" Glen asks, knowing Ashley is one of the few people who will actually play with him.

"oh definitely, you're so going down this time" Ashley replies with the same reply she says almost every week.

"oh please." Glen scoffs. "what's the record now? 27 to zip?" he rubs it in her face.

"one of these days…" she leads on with a smile.

"come on, Ash, no one likes a sore loser" Glen jokes.

"it's because you cheat!" she yells at him in good humour. "How many times have you thrown me over your shoulder when trying to sink the winning shot just to make sure I can't steal the ball?"

"don't hate the player, hate the game!" Glen shrugs off causing us all to laugh.

…

After I finally drag Ashley away from her basketball game with Glen in the driveway we finally say goodbye to my parents.

"28, zip!" Glen yells at us as we finally crawl into the car.

"Cheater!" she yells back, and he does cheat. I most definitely saw him lift Ashley up so he could sink his last shot with ease. We pull out of the driveway and we're back to the silent 40 minute trip.

At least I thought we were.

"How come you didn't tell me about work?" Ashley asks with concern knowing I can't escape from a moving car. She knows I always tell her everything, and likewise for her. I don't know, this time I just didn't. Actually, that's a lie. My promotion at work just seemed so insignificant to everything else.

"I tried to. When I told you I had something I wanted to talk to you about over dinner…that was it" I inform her and I know at this point I'm just making her feel even more guilty.

"Spence, I'm sorry." She says sincerely. And I never doubted once that she didn't mean these apologies, I'm just not sure what they mean to me. "I just jumped to conclusions last night and panicked and tried to calm down my nerves with alcohol. I shouldn't have brought that girl home"

"what were you panicking over?" I ask, ignoring the comment about the girl.

"um…" she pauses, not knowing what to say. Is this the part where she tells me that she has feelings for me? Is this the big confrontation I've been waiting for since Kyla accidentally blurted it out to my yesterday? Even if it was, do I still feel the same way as I did yesterday? It's amazing how much of a rollercoaster your emotions can be in just a few hours.

And it's amazing how just one person can you make you feel that way.

"uh…" she pauses again, not knowing what to say. I wait patiently because this could be a defining moment for us.

"well you told me there was something important you wanted to talk about. I thought you wanted to break up with me or something" she clearly makes up on the spot. And of course I have to pretend like I wasn't expecting her to say she has feelings for me.

I sit there in silence trying to come up with something to say but I'm left speechless. It's so hard to not talk to her about this. We've never not been able to talk about something.

"are we okay?" I practically whisper. I can tell from my question she's caught off guard and doesn't know how to reply either.

"you're my best friend" she says as she gathers enough courage to hold my hand in hers, giving it a little squeeze for reassurance.

"and you're mine" I confirm. She is. I may doubt some of the confusing feelings I have toward her right now, but if I'm sure of anything right now it's the fact that she is my _best friend_.

"then we're okay" she smiles giving me a quick glance and comforting smile before switching back to watching the highway.

She held my hand the rest of the way home.

*next chapter: Ashley talks to Kyla about Spencer and Spencer prepares for her date with Maggie


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Ashley

Spencer went to bed pretty much as soon as we got home. I guess she stayed out all night and just needed a day to catch up on sleep. She'll be back to normal tomorrow in time for work. _I_ on the other hand really screwed up. Stupid Kyla trying to convince me that I had feelings for my best friend. The only reason Spencer wanted to talk last night was to tell me about her promotion, and I totally blew her off because I freaked out. I don't have feelings for her. She's just my friend, she's always been just a friend. And now she's seeing this Maggie girl, which is great, I've been trying to push her into dating for a while now. Not that I'm too thrilled with this new girl. Just because she's a doctor and successful doesn't mean she's right for Spencer.

I'm not being jealous, I'm just being honest, Spencer deserves the best. Just because she's a doctor doesn't mean she couldn't be some sort of axe murderer. Anyone could be better than her, even _I_ could be better than her. You know… if I actually had feelings for Spence. Which I don't.

I don't.

I wake up early Monday because I agreed to have breakfast with Kyla this morning. Well I was the one who wanted to talk to her, for obvious confusing reasons, however she is the one who chose to do breakfast. We usually go out for breakfast every month anyways. I hear some noises coming from the kitchen as I wake and go to check out what Spencer is doing.

"morning" I say finally coming around the corner to see Spencer yawning and pouring herself a cup of coffee in her t-shirt and underwear.

"shit" she jumps quietly in shock. "What are you doing up so early?" she asks taking a sip of her coffee and reaching for a second mug to pour me a cup.

"meeting Kyla" I tell her as she hands me the warm mug. I open the fridge with my right hand to grab the milk out as she reaches in the cupboard in front of her to get the sugar. She puts two spoonfuls in her cup and one in mine while I pour some milk into each mug. We've done it so many times that it's impossible to forget how each other takes their coffee. She stirs them both with the same spoon as I put the sugar and milk back.

Neither of us are really all that talkative in the mornings but we're both up pretty early and surprisingly enough neither of us are in a rush.

"Did you have a good sleep?" I ask trying to make conversation.

"yeah like 12 hours" she snorts in laughter at herself. I smile and nod and take a sip of my perfect coffee.

"listen, I was thinking that we never got a chance to celebrate your promotion the right way, so maybe we could go out for dinner tonight? My treat" I offer her.

She freezes and takes a second to sip her coffee, not really making eye contact.

"I would…" she starts off which isn't good. "but I told Maggie I'd go out and celebrate with her tonight. It's sort of a date"

"oh" is the first, and only thing, to really come out of my mouth. Once again, I'd just like to reiterate that I'm not jealous.

"yeah" she adds, also not sure what to say.

"okay, well how about after your date tonight, we'll have a few drinks at the bar." I offer an alternative. "I'm buying of course" I smirk causing her to smirk as well, fully knowing I own the bar and always get free alcohol.

"I don't know when I'll be home" Spencer adds.

"it's alright, I'll wait up." I shrug. "we'll have a few drinks at the bar, I'll invite a few friends and then you and I can move the party to the apartment and spend some quality best friend time together" I feel like we've been distant for the last day or so, which isn't long for most people, but Spencer and I are constantly around each other.

"okay" she agrees to it. And it's like a weight is lifted off my shoulder. But before I can actually do my inner happy dance Spencer speaks up, "is it okay if I bring Maggie back to the bar?"

"…sure" I agree though I'd prefer if she didn't. But I guess Spence must actually like this girl. Really it doesn't matter all that much, because at the end of the night she'll be home with me.

….

"you really fucked with my head these last couple days you know" I mutter angrily to Kyla slipping another forkful of terrible pancakes into my mouth. We met up for breakfast and I'm making sure not to hold back with my frustrations.

"what are you talking about? I thought you two talked it over, did the nasty and finally got together" Kyla asks.

"Kyla, the only reason I thought she had feelings for me too was because she asked me to have a talk over dinner. All she was going to tell me was that she got a promotion!" I try to contain my anger in the restaurant.

"_and_ to tell you how she feels. At least that's the impression I got when I talked to her about it over the phone that day"

"you talked to her that day?" I pause, suddenly no longer interested in this horrific breakfast.

"…well, like don't hate me or anything, but she called me just a few minutes after we talked on the phone and I sort of accidentally let it slip that I was happy that the two of you were together because you had just finished telling me you had feelings for her"

"you _what_!" I practically yell, a few heads turning to stare as proof.

"I'm _sorry_!" Kyla exclaims.

"Kyla. _Fuckfuckfuck_. I was so nervous that night that she was coming home to confess her love for me that I had a few drinks and took some girl from the bar home."

"Ash…" Kyla said in a disappointed tone. Disappointed for so many reasons.

"she went out and bought a dress and she bought my favourite meal and I just fucked it up. Now I have no idea what she was actually going to tell me over dinner." I explain to Kyla as I bury my head in my hands. I really fucked this up. "…do you think the dinner was just about the promotion or something more?" I ask, looking at Kyla through the spaces of my fingers.

And all she can do is shrug.

"but ash…" she manages to speak up. "if you have feelings for her, maybe you should just tell her."

"I can't. I just can't." I shake my head at her. "there's way too much at stake, Ky. She's my best friend, and my roommate. Besides you she's the only family I have. And her parents are like family to me. And Glen's like an older brother to me. You're friends with her, we pretty much share all of the same friends. If I tell her that I have feelings for her, _which for the record – I'm not even entirely sure I do have feelings for her_, it could just ruin all of that."

"I know. But I wouldn't be your sister and friend if I didn't try to convince you to go after her." She shrugs. "I still think you guys belong together."

"yeah I know that, and _obviously Spencer is aware of that too_!" I bite back at my sister's inability to keep things to herself. "you know she's got some date tonight" I spit out.

"wait what? The one night you decide to keep your feelings to yourself Spencer goes out and gets a date?" Kyla asks. "what did she do, just walk out the door and grab the first girl she saw!"

"it's complicated. Actually it's my fault." I tell her. "I set her up with some girl at the bar as I normally would after one of her dates and it turns out they actually hit it off."

"well that sucks…"

"yeah, apparently this girl is some lesbian doctor too"

"oh that sounds fun, Mrs. Carlin must love that" Kyla chirps in a bubbly tone as if we didn't just have an important conversation about my maybe feelings for this very girl. I feed her a glare and she recognizes my lack of similar feelings.

"she does" I roll my eyes. Not that I have a problem with Paula fawning over her daughter and everything, but I can't compete with a doctor. Let's be honest. "From what Spencer described she sounds perfect, and I saw her at the bar a few nights ago, she's hot too. She's coming by the bar later tonight, you should join us"

"hot shot doctor… or rich best friend soul mate" Kyla weighs Spencer's options with her hands. "not much of a competition"

"I don't know. This girl must be something special if Spence wants to bring her to meet our friends"

"she's not bringing her back to meet her friends, she's bringing her back to meet you. You know Spencer would never even consider dating someone unless she thought you could get along with her"

I pause and I think about. It's true. If I don't like her Spencer won't like her. This could work well for me. I mean, there's no way Spencer would want someone if her best friend didn't want her, right? Even though was technically the one to set them up. Funny how life works like that, isn't it?

"Ashley, I know what you're thinking and it's not right" Kyla cuts into my thoughts. And before I can even defend myself she goes on "if Spencer actually likes this girl, like _really_ likes this girl you can't stop her from being with her out of selfishness."

She has a point. But this isn't just any girl we're talking about. This is Spencer. She means more to me than anything. I've known her longer than I've known my own sister. She was friends with me when my mom was absent, and when my dad died and she was friends with me when I had no one.

"I can't lose her to some doctor, Ky. She might never come back to me"

"what are you talking about? It's not like she's going to move out after the first date" Kyla says incredulously.

"but think about it. What if Spencer and the doctor really hit it off? They become super close, best friends and girlfriends, in a year they'll move in together, in 2 years they'll get married, and with the doctor's money they'll move into some nice house probably her parents' next door neighbours, and Spencer will have forgotten all about me. And where will I be, Ky? I'll tell you where I'll be. I'll be sitting in my bar on a Tuesday night trying to pick up some random girl who will never be as good as my best friend."

"and what if it turns out she falls for the doctor and only loves you as a friend?" Kyla asks the question that's been stopping me from doing all of this.

"then I'll lock her in the basement until she falls in love with me" I say, frustrated. "I don't know, if Spencer doesn't love me then I'm going to let her be with the doctor, or whoever she wants to be with. But she's _my _best friend. _My _person. If I killed someone and had to bury a body she'd be the person Googling the best places to get rid of it as I wrap the body in garbage bags and get the bleach."

"It's creepy that you've thought that far ahead into getting rid of a body…" Kyla skeptically points out.

I give her a look and shake my head, going back to shoveling the pancakes into my mouth.

"this food is terrible. Why do we come here?" I ask.

"because it's close by and cheap and we always do monthly breakfasts here" she smiles and shrugs digging into her scrambled eggs.

"Kyla Wood, we are millionaires." I say angrily. This whole conversation has got me so frustrated and pissed off because I can't do anything about anything. "we could afford to buy this place, cook the food ourselves and it would still be a better meal"

Kyla starts laughing at me and my uncontrollable anger. "oh come on Ash, this place has history with us. Don't you remember?" she asks and I just shake my head, too angry to remember anything. "back when our dad died and I showed up, _before_ we got our 25 million dollar inheritance and we were rich, we came here to get to know each other. We've been coming here for years" she smiles sweetly, slowly picking at her food. Sometimes I forget how important Kyla has become in my life.

Before here all I had was Spencer and a few other select friends, but Spencer's always been there for me. And when Kyla came into my life it wasn't just like adding another absentee family member who was only interested in the money into my life, I got a new friend, a new _best_ friend. Sometimes I get caught up in my own drama so much that I forget about the other important people in my life.

The waitress who served us quickly dropped off the cheque noticing we were almost done, and also topping off our coffees. I slip my credit card into the cheque book and let her take it away.

"you know you're my favourite sister" I smile and try and lighten the mood.

"I'm your _only_ sister" she replies.

"who can be sure these days?" I ask rhetorically. "I spent the first 18 years of my life under the impression I was an _only _child!"

"good ole' dad" we say together.

Just as we're finally about to leave the restaurant we stand up from the table and I turn to stop her.

"same time next month?" is all I ask.

"I'll meet you right here" she smiles back.

…..

Spencer

"what do you think?" I ask Ashley who is sitting on my bed as I step out of my closet with another different outfit. Black skinny jeans with a nice black studded top.

"no" she shakes her head, and that's the fourth outfit she's said no to.

"can you stop saying no?" I ask her. "you've rejected everything I've tried on and I don't see anything wrong with them."

"well I don't know what this girl is into!" she says as she flips through the magazine from her spot on my bed. I can tell she's not exactly thrilled about my date, but what am I supposed to do about it? I really like Maggie from what I know of her and she's one of few girls I actually want to get to know more.

"Ashley, _please_" I beg and she stops flipping through the pages long enough to look at me and my closet.

"fine, keep the jeans" she starts and I watch as her eyes scan my closet. "black lace top, with that baggy white hipster shirt you love so much over it" I smile at her and she knows I love that white top so much. I strip off the shirt I'm currently wearing until I'm down to my bra, reaching for the black lace top in my closet.

"no wait" Ashley stops me mid reach with her words.

"what?"

"maybe the black lace top is to sexy for a first date, why don't you just go for a black tank top instead?" she offers.

"um…okay" I shrug. While I walk to my dresser looking for my black tank top.

"no…" Ashley drags out, undecidedly. "maybe the lace top will work for you"

I sigh in frustration and walk back to my closet for the top.

"well…" Ashley drags out again. I'm going to kill this girl. I turn to her and jut out my hip to tell her to make up her fucking mind already and she starts laughing at me.

"you know what? Maybe it's just the bra, you should probably change it" she smirks at me and I come to the realization.

"you have been oogling me this whole time" I mock gasp and cover my bra clad chest with my arms.

She smirks and bites her lip and I have to admit, when Ashley bites her lip it is such a sexy thing. Rarely does she ever bite her lip for me, but damn.

"I'm wearing the black lace top…you horn dog" I joke back, trying to break any sexual tension.

"fine, fine" she stops. "but just remember no sleeping with the doctor on the first date"

"she has a name you know, and it's not like you haven't slept with a girl after the first date" I tell her as I slip into my outfit.

"I prefer 'the doctor'" she says as she goes back to her magazine. "and I don't take those girls on dates, I pick them up at the bar. It's different."

"well don't call her 'the doctor' when you meet her tonight" I'm sure to clarify. "come to think of it, I don't even remember the last time you went on an actual date" I say as I slip on my white shirt over top. It's like a giant tank top so the sleeves are wide enough and the neckline is low cut enough to see the lace underneath.

Ashley pauses and looks off into space to try and think of her last date as well.

"it was Jessica" she concludes. "and before that it was Katherine, Blair, Ally…" She lists off.

"how come you stopped dating?" I ask her as I pull out some bracelets to put on as I take a seat beside her on the bed.

"none of those girls seemed right for me, I realized all I really wanted from them was sex, so I stopped dating and when I went after a girl I made it clear that I wanted nothing more from her than one night of fun."

"so just because none of those girls were right for you doesn't mean any of the girls after them weren't right" I shrug.

"I think I just have this standard set in my mind that none of these girls really measure up, admittedly I'm not really trying to get to know them but I'm still young. I'm not in any rush to settle down and throw all my nights of fun away"

"just because you settle into monogamy doesn't mean you can't still have fun and enjoy who you're with." I say and get up to get a pair of shoes from the hallway by the door.

"I invited some of the girls to the bar tonight to celebrate, and Kyla too." Ashley calls out from the bedroom, ignoring my monogamy statement. She's talking about our regular lesbian friends who come to the bar every week for drinks anyways.

"alright, I think we're going out for dinner then walk around a bit, I guess we'll be back around 11ish" I tell her, slipping on a pair of short leather boots.

"okay, we'll hang out for an hour or two and then you can tell me all about your date…with the doctor" she tells me and I notice her aversion for using Maggie's name, but that'll change hopefully. I walk back into the room, throwing my black leather jacket on and giving Ash one last final preview.

"who said you could steal my boots?" she asks with a smirk on her face.

"oh come on, the outfit was begging for them" I plead.

"you know those are my favourite boots!" she argues, and we both know she's eventually just going to give in, it'll just take a little bit of persuasion.

"they're only your favourite boots because you ran into Kristen Stewart on the streets while wearing them"

"uh _yeah_, because Kristen Stewart is like my favourite gay icon" she says as if it's obvious.

"she's not even gay!" I argue back at her.

"not _yet_" she says making us both laugh. I think it's Ashley's life goal to hook up with Kristen Stewart, not that I blame her.

"_please_ can I wear your K-Stew boots?" I ask with my best puppy eyes as I take a seat right beside her on the bed. She takes on look and she knows she's done.

"_fine_." She breathes out. "but I want something in exchange" she smiles and taps her cheek for me to kiss her. I lean in and give her a big kiss on the cheek and stand back up to get the rest of my stuff. It's the typical cost of borrowing each other's stuff.

"we're going to be okay tonight, right?" I ask all of a sudden, and now I don't even know why I asked it. Now things are awkward.

"what do you mean?" she asks back.

"I mean, like… you and me, you'll be okay with Maggie around?" I ask and it's like the words keep flowing out of my mouth and I can't stop them.

"why wouldn't I be?" she asks, seemingly calm, but I know she's just as lost in this conversation as I am.

"I don't know" I shrug. "I just… I don't usually bring girls back to meet you and I just wanted to make sure we're… okay"

"we're fine." she says quickly, staring down at her magazine. And if anything that makes me feel worse, because I know she can't lie directly to my face.

And for the sake of both of our feelings I let it go and pretend like I think she's telling me the truth.

"okay, good. I promise, she'll be just like one of our friends, she's really nice and sweet, I think you'll really like her." I say and Ashley walks me out to the front door of our apartment.

"if you like her I'm sure I'll like her" she agrees and opens the front door for me and leans on it.

"you promise you'll be cool tonight?" I ask seriously.

"Spencer Carlin, I am the coolest person _you_ know!" she says as if she takes offense to my statement. I smile lightly, but not a real smile and she sees my hesitancy and I can tell she feels bad. "I promise to be nice to the doctor" she pokes my stomach for kicks. It's not that I want her to be nice to Maggie, I know she'll be nice, I just don't want her to do anything stupid tonight that could screw our relationship up.

"don't call her the doctor!" I yell over my shoulder one last time as I finally head down the stairs for my date.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Ashley

"Spencer said she's going to be here in about ten minutes" I tell everyone as I slip my cell phone back into my pocket.

"how great can this doctor _really_ be" Shay asks as she takes another swig of her beer, her third beer. She casually wraps her arm around her on and off girlfriend Mel, waiting for some support. We've been sitting here for about an hour, and it's mostly us been joking around and having a couple of drinks. Okay well to be honest, it's mostly been me complaining about Spencer's date.

"yeah, come on. We all know you and Spencer have that sexual tension thing going on" Mel speaks up.

"_What?_" I ask and everyone agrees, including Kyla.

"See!" Kyla pipes up. "Everyone knew it!" she laughs at me.

"you mean to tell me, _all of you_, knew that I liked Spencer before _I_ did?" I ask incredulously. There's 6 of us sitting at a couple of tables in the bar. And they all nod their heads.

"uh _yeah_" Rebecca, the red head says from my right. "you've got to be blind to not see it. There's no such thing as two lesbians who are _just_ best friends"

"you and Christina are best friends" I point out to the two of them as their eyes meet across the table.

"yeah, but Rebecca and I tried dating a few years ago" Christina points out. "it didn't work out" she shrugs, they both do.

"but the point is you two are just friends" I argue.

"the thing about lesbian best friends is that whether there was a past, present or future there will always be some sort of relationship. Or at least an attempt. Lesbians have this thing about when they get close to another lesbian they can't help but test the waters." Christina continues.

"it doesn't always work out, but lesbians are naturally curious about all other lesbians" Shay adds.

"it's like the lesbian sex test" Rebecca shrugs and all the girls except for Kyla nod in agreement.

"the _what_?" I ask.

"the lesbian sex test" Rebecca repeats. And she notices my confusion and I urge her to continue. "whenever a lesbian meets another lesbian at some point she does the lesbian sex test. Which basically means in her head she creates a scenario of the two of them, and asks herself if the opportunity to sleep with her came up, would she"

"that's ridiculous, not everyone does that" I state.

"actually, that's not even a lesbian thing, that's a straight thing too" Kyla adds, not helping my situation. "but not like all the time…"

"whether you're in a relationship or single there's always that question in the back of your mind 'would I sleep with her if she propositioned me?' and even if your answer is yes it doesn't mean you're going to sleep with her, it's just a natural thing to ask" Christina says. "And it's not like your answer can't change over time."

I guess it's true, sometimes. I can't lie, I've definitely done that before, but not with every lesbian I meet. Well I probably will from now on since they've put the idea in my head.

"So when all of you met me you did the lesbian sex test?" I ask, trying to take advantage of the situation, to which they all obviously nod, Kyla excluded – thank god. "_and? _What was your first impression?" I ask with the biggest smirk of life.

"yes"

"yes"

"yes"

"yes"

They each went around the table one by one waiting for each other's response. Mel and Shay just laughed at each other.

"you dirty little whores" I call them out with a laugh of my own.

"and why exactly are they dirty little whores?" we hear a voice from behind us.

"Spencer!" Rebecca calls out as they all get up to greet her and give her a hug. They shuffle around the table pulling up a couple chairs between me and Rebecca, to make some space for her and her date and me.

Spencer gives me a kiss on the side of the head as a hello as she takes her seat beside me and shuffles out of her leather jacket.

"guys, this is Maggie" she introduces happily.

"the doctor!" they all cry out as a joke. Even Kyla. Though they've all had a few drinks.

"Ash" Spencer chides me quietly so that Maggie can't hear.

"what?" I shrug. "you never said _they_ couldn't call her that" I joke.

"hey" Maggie says confidently even though she's blushing at her new nickname.

"Maggie, this is Rebecca, Kyla, Mel, Shay, Christina and Ashley" Spencer goes around the table introducing us. They all say a quick hello but I just smile at her and remain quiet.

We all sort of pause at the awkward silence not really knowing what to say. Usually I'm okay with carrying a conversation but I can't help but feel a little awkward with the doctor around.

"Fitzy!" I call out as I turn around grabbing his attention. "shots" I yell across the bar while pointing to our table.

"shots?" Spencer asks.

"yeah, I told you we're celebrating your promotion. So that means shots!" I say excitedly. Within seconds one of the waitresses brings over 8 shots of tequila and some limes for the table.

"thanks Kelly" both Spencer and I smile at the waitress. As the boss I'm close with all of my employees. And as the boss' best friend, so is Spencer.

"ladies, let's do this!" Christina raises her shot glass, the rest of us following. "To Spencer and her promotion, the best damn camera shootin', video editin' lesbian out there!" she toasts and we all laugh. Her job obviously has nothing to do with her being gay, but Christina throws it in there anyways.

"cheers" we all say together and clink the shot glasses before downing the shots and biting the limes. I always loved the terrible scrunched up sour face Spencer makes after shooting tequila and limes. I chuckle at her and she sticks out her tongue at me, knowing exactly why I'm laughing.

"so you never told me why everyone's a dirty little whore" Spencer speaks up.

"oh" I pipe up, putting my lime back down on the plate with the others. "nothing new, everyone just wants to get with Ashley Davies" I shrug it off as if it's nothing. And Spencer just raises an eyebrow at the rest of the table.

"the lesbian sex test" Rebecca clarifies.

"oh" Spencer and the doctor nod in understanding.

"Did _everyone_ know about this test but me?" I ask causing the others to laugh. I'm actually in shock of this information.

"sorry babe, maybe you're not quite the power lesbian you made yourself out to be" Shay shrugs.

"So Maggie…" Kyla starts off, trying to include her in the conversation. "tell us about yourself." She smiles sweetly, Kyla has always had knack for coming off as a really sweet person. Which she is, she definitely has that good heartedness thing going on.

"how'd you and Spencer meet?" Rebecca adds.

"we met here actually" Maggie answers. And I take this time to really look at Maggie.

Gorgeous red hair similar to Rebecca's but it's a natural light red, borderline blonde almost. She's cute, preppy style in contrast to Spencer's dark jeans and sexy lace top, but once upon a time Spencer was pretty preppy too, still is I guess. She has perfect teeth and a great smile, knows her way around a make up brush, and a pair of brown leather knee high boots. Spencer has a thing for girls who can pull off boots. She's sweet looking, very well put together. I'd do her if I didn't know her…and if she didn't already know Spencer.

"she sent me a glass of champagne at the bar and then proceeded to blow me off before even asking for my name" the doctor says and the other girls all laugh. "but she turned it around eventually" she says and smiles directly at the perfect blonde sitting between us.

"looks like someone is stealing Ashley's pick up move" Shay comments referring to the glass of champagne bit.

"actually Ashley was the one who sent over the champagne, it was her attempt to set me up with another girl" Spencer smiles.

"that's such an Ashley thing to do" Mel points out.

"oh definitely, Ashley is such a player with the ladies at the bar" Shay agrees as do the other girls.

"I can't help that I have game" I shrug.

"is that how you work Ash?" Kyla asks with a smile. She doesn't spend every night at the bar like Spencer and I do so she doesn't really know. "you send girls a glass of champagne and pick them up?"

"no, no, no" I'm quick to correct her. "sending a glass of champagne is just a simple way of breaking the ice."

"Ashley is the master of picking up chicks" Christina jumps in, explaining it mostly to the doctor, all the other girls just smile.

"what's your secret, Ashley?" the doctor asks me specifically.

"oh there's no secret, just charming personality and a good wingman" I smirk and nudge Spencer in the arm. Spencer can't help but blush in embarrassment in her hand at my whore-ishness.

"really?" the doctor asks Spencer. "you're her wingman?" she asks in disbelief.

"Ash, can you please show us again!" Rebecca begs.

"oh _hell yes_!" Christina urges on. They love to just watch the games I play. Plus they're getting a little drunk and rowdy.

"guys, no, come on, we're celebrating Spencer's job, we're not here to watch me try and pick up some girl"

"please Ash!" even Kyla begs. That's when you know she's had a few too many drinks. "just go and get someone's number." I look around the table and the girls all seem pretty eager to watch this.

"only if… Spencer helps me out" I smirk and look over at my best friend beside me.

"Spencer, please?" Shay begs. And soon enough all the girls are joining in. Even the doctor wants to see it.

"Fine!" Spencer finally agrees. "but lets get some more shots first. Who wants?"

Kyla, Shay, Mel and the doctor all turn it down, but Spencer turns around and waves Fitz down for 4 more shots of tequila. We toast again quickly as most of the girls are still pretty eager to see the show we put on.

"can we pick the girl?" Rebecca asks, she and Christina are having a field day with this.

"might as well, just pick someone at the bar" I say. I don't even bother turning around to see what kind of girls are at the bar, but I trust them.

"okay, brunette in the pink sparkly top?" Rebecca offers.

"no, go with the dirty blonde in the red t-shirt and black suspenders" Mel suggests. I finally turn around and see my target, a young girl, clearly gay and about to get the Ashley Davies charm.

"drink system?" I ask Spencer.

"Sure" she laughs and waves it off, I can tell she's starting to feel the effects of the tequila.

I grab my rum and coke from the table and stand up to make my leave.

"wish me luck" I tell the girls with a wink and they all laugh and whistle at me as I walk to the bar. As I leave I over hear the doctor asking everyone what the drink system is. Lucky for her she'll get a first hand view of it.

I take a seat at the end of the bar, far enough away from the dirty blonde that we're not beside each other, but she can still see me.

"hey Fitz" I nod.

"hey, anything I can get for you?" he asks wondering why I'm at the bar.

"the doctor wants to see the drinks system in action" I shrug at him and he nods. He knows all about the doctor and everything that's going on. Fitz is a bartender so he's natural listener. And I'm a drinker, so I'm a natural talker.

"I see" he nods back at me. "is this something we're going to have fun with?" he asks with a smirk of his own.

"oh Fitz, you know me so well." I smirk back at him. "So bartender, please send your finest glass of champagne to the lovely blonde in the red t-shirt and black suspenders."

"one champagne coming right up" he says and goes off to work.

I sit and watch as Fitz delivers the drink to the girl and he subtly points to me across the bar, explaining to the blonde that it was me who sent the drink. Her eyes light up slightly and she gives a smile and a nod. I glance to my left noticing all of the girls at the table discretely watching me, the doctor not so discretely. The blonde in the red shirt gets up from her stool at the bar and I watch as she gracefully walks over to talk to me.

"hi" she smiles and takes the seat next to me.

"hi" I smile back at her, flashing my pearly whites. A big smile shows that I'm interested, but not eager.

"thanks for the drink" she smiles back.

"it was my pleasure, I'm Ashley" I hold out my hand, sort of palm up, in the close distance between us. The palm up allows her to slip her hand into my hand easily and it makes her feel a bit girly having her palm down. It's an old chivalry thing.

"Lynn" she says and shakes my hand softly. We both pull back but I let my fingertips graze her palm as she slowly pulls away.

"Lynn what's a pretty girl like you doing at the bar without a girlfriend?" I ask, and we skip the whole awkward 'are you gay' inquisition. It's a pretty obvious gay bar, plus her suspenders give away her sexuality.

"what makes you think I don't have a girlfriend?" she flirts.

"Any smart girl who was your girlfriend wouldn't let you go to a bar with just your friends" I nod over to the group of girls she's hanging with. Who of which, are also eagerly watching our interaction. "I mean if I were your girlfriend there's no way I would let you out of my sight" I say forwardly, girls like this are always looking for confident people. Who doesn't?

"ladies, can I get you anything?" Fitz asks as if just on cue.

"I'm good" Lynn replies back with a smile, seeing as I just got her a glass of champagne. I lean over to Fitz and take a second to scan Lynn up and down real quickly. I know exactly what drink to send. I whisper a drink in his ear to be delivered to Spencer, he gives a quick nod and smile and prepares the drink to get Kelly to deliver to her.

"you're right though" Lynn says. Of course I am. "no girlfriend"

"good" and that's all I have to say to let her know I'm interested in her. "Lynn it looks like your friends are watching us pretty tightly" I whisper into her ear quietly as I place my hand on her arm, trying to establish closeness between the two of us. I don't even have to look at her friends to know they're giggling and watching their friend flirt. In the background of the bar I hear the noticeable laughs of my friends hollering, as they must have realized the drink I delivered to Spencer. She'll be over here any minute.

To be honest, she probably won't be too happy with the drink I sent over. It's not one of her favourite signals. But I wish I could have seen the look on her face when Kelly delivered that mimosa to her.

"yeah, well it's not often a pretty girl sends me a glass of champagne at the bar" Lynn shyly says with a blush. Which I would actually find endearing if I was trying to pick her up and take her home with me. But tonight I'm just looking for a phone number. A number I probably won't even call.

Before I can even reply with a flirty come back I see Spencer out of the corner of my eye saunter over here with her sexiest walk. I _do_ love this drink system.

"Ashley" Spencer smiles, effectively interrupting my close conversation with Lynn. "it's so good to see you again" she says in a husky, sexy voice as she places her right hand on my waist leaning in pressing our bodies together. I glance from Spencer to Lynn and back to Spencer, all apart of the charade of course.

"oh sorry" Spencer pulls back, and I miss the feeling of her body on mine. That feeling is not apart of the charade. "I didn't mean to interrupt. It's just been a really long time Ash, I've missed you" she smirks. God damn, she is a good actress.

"it's good to see you too, Spencer" I say with reluctance, trying to show Lynn I'm not interested in Spencer, but in her instead. Of course this is a very difficult thing to do considering the on going situation.

"should I leave you two alone?" Lynn asks, feeling slightly awkward.

"no, no, please don't go" I plead to her, even though there's nothing more I would like right now than to have Spencer like this. I never really had her and I already miss her touch.

"I'm leaving anyways" Spencer adds in, still acting out our scenario. "but Ashley you have my number, give me a call. I'm not busy this weekend" she says and takes a step closer. "At all" she whispers into my ear. "I'll be waiting." she says. And usually that's where the drink system's help comes to an end. Typically Spencer turns around and sways her hips in the sexiest way, but before Spencer takes off she leave a lingering kiss on my cheek just below my ear. And it drives me absolutely crazy. Without another word she turns around and walks away, back to our table.

It takes me a second to break out of the sexy haze that Spencer left but I snap back into it. The whole point of this was to let Lynn know that I am available, but just because I'm single doesn't mean I'm not still highly sought after. Even by a sexy woman like Spencer.

"I'm sorry about that" I tell her, taking a sip of my drink, letting her know it's actually her I want to talk to.

"it's quite alright" she shrugs off, even though it is very clear that bothered her.

"no, it's really not" I tell her, once again minimalizing the distance between us. "she's not the one I wanted to talk to tonight" I smile shyly even though this is all complete bull shit.

"really, it's okay" she says and this time she says is more believingly. "I think my friends are about to head out though it's getting kind of late" she says and I may or may not lose this one, which might be a little embarrassing in front of my friends.

"but…" she starts off, and that's it. Deal sealed. That one little but shows that she's very interested in me. "how about I give you my phone number and you give me a call sometime." She smiles. I nod and pull my phone out of my pocket for her to add her number. And as Lynn enters her number I look past her to my table of friends to see all of them standing up and silently clapping at me as to not make a loud scene, I'm praying that Lynn doesn't turn around and see.

"I'll talk to you soon" I wink at her and we both take our separate paths back to our friends.

"that…was _amazing_" Christina practically shouts and they all join in with their laughter, even Spencer laughs a little. The doctor smiles but obviously didn't find it all that amusing. Not my problem.

"and _that_ is how the drinks system works" I smile and order some more drinks for the table.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

*I thought I would do the date and post-date chapters backwards just for literary effect. Don't hate on the anti-spashley-ness in this chapter, I'm just trying to get readers to understand Spencer's fondness for the doctor

Spencer

"so I'm guessing you frequent this bar a lot?" Maggie asks as I enter the bar through the back door and find her waiting for me on one of the stools.

"yeah I guess you could say that" I laugh softly. "I live above it"

"that makes more sense. Convenient too" she smiles. "ready to go"

"absolutely, where are we headed to?"

"I made a reservation for a restaurant just down the street. Are you okay to walk there?" she asks.

"yeah… I love walking… it's like good for you and everything…and free" I say awkwardly. Oh my god, what the hell happened to me? I can't even make conversation anymore. Maggie laughs at me in a cute way, I like her laugh.

"yeah, walking's pretty great" she adds. "I love your boots by the way"

"oh" I smile looking down at them. "thanks, they're my roommate's actually. I had to beg her to let me borrow them. She once met Kristen Stewart in them and thinks they're magical or something"

"really, Kristen Stewart?"

"yeah, she has the biggest crush on her and is waiting for the day she comes out of the closet" I smile at Ashley's ridiculous ideas.

"so your roommate's gay too?" Maggie asks, making conversation as we walk to the restaurant.

"yeah, Ashley's a real lady's lady. You can find her at the bar most nights just hanging out or picking up girls. It's kind of her thing"

"what's your thing then, Spencer?" she asks.

"um… my job I guess" I shrug, I've never been asked that question before and it sort of makes me realize I don't have a thing. But I have told Maggie a lot about my job already from the other night. "I just really enjoy my job, it might not be glamorous or high paying, but it's what I love. What about you? Being a doctor sounds exciting"

"it can be, it can also be long hours and sleepless nights, but I too love my job and what I do." She smiles at me, she tends to do that a lot, which I quite enjoy. "we're here" she says quietly and places her hand on my back to guide me into the restaurant as she opens the door.

"reservation for McKnight" she says to the hostess and we are quickly led to a small two person table lit up with candles. I take a look around at the other tables and realize we're the only one with candles.

"is this alright?" Maggie asks

"this is…perfect" I have trouble finding the right words. "but I feel like you pulled a few strings for us to get a better table" I eye her carefully and she smiles.

"well I may have called ahead and asked for a secluded table…with candles" she's so sweet. I've been on a few dates, and none of them have ever really tried to be this romantic.

"so today at work, I was working in the pit… where all the emergency calls come in, and all the doctors in the hospital have to work in the pit at some point during the week to help out…and I ran into someone"

"oh?" I ask, urging her to continue, then it hits me why she's mentioning this. "oh." Oh fuck.

"she didn't…" I beg.

"your mom is a very nice person" she chuckles to herself and I bury myself in my hands.

"I am so embarrassed" I mumble. "what did she say to you?"

"oh come on, it wasn't bad or anything" she laughs at my embarrassment, she's enjoying this. "she just introduced herself and asked if I was the same Maggie who had a date with her daughter, Spencer." Oh okay, that's not too bad. "and then proceeded to make her sales pitch for you for the next two hours"

"I'm going to kill my mom. I specifically told her not to do _anything_"

"I didn't even know that your mom was a surgeon. She's kind of a big deal at the hospital. It didn't even occur to me that Paula Carlin was your mother. Though I guess the blonde hair and similar good looks should have given it away" is she flirting with me while talking about my mother?

"yeah, that's mom. That job is actually the reason why my family picked up and left Ohio"

"I'm glad you did. But I was even more surprised at the fact that I had only met you twice and your mother knew who I was."

"that wasn't my fault" I'm quick to state. "I usually see my family for lunch every week and Ashley may have mentioned how I had a date with a doctor just to shift the focus of the conversation on to me. If it's any consolation my mom loved you before she even met you" I tell her.

"hey, that's why I became a doctor. It's parental bait" she jokes.

"that it most certainly is" I agree. "have you always wanted to be a doctor?"

"ha, no" she laughs. "all through high school I was just completely lost and had no idea what I wanted. At first I wanted to be a cop, but I realized the fitness test to get into a policing program probably would have killed me alone. Then I thought about lawyer, but I'm not so great in the art of persuasion, I don't even know how I convinced a beautiful girl like you to go out with me in the first place. And then I saw Imagine You & Me and thought maybe I could be a florist…which is when I discovered my allergy for lilies and roses _and _tulips."

"so you decided on medical school, _how_?" I ask, still not really getting anywhere, but amused by her stories. It's nice to know that even though she is so well put together she hasn't always been. It sort of humanizes her. And don't think I didn't notice that not-so-subtle flirty compliment slipped in there.

"well my grandfather was head of surgery at the hospital I work at and my parents donated money for a new wing in the building and I was accepted into pre-med at Columbia so things just kind of fell into place and worked out. But I love the idea of saving lives everyday." Her family has money too. She's completely set up for the rest of her life. Why is she with _me_?

I guess Ashley is pretty set up too if you think about it. She loves that bar, she may not do a lot of work for it but she loves being there, it's her home. There's nothing more she enjoys than going to the bar for a few drinks and spending time with good people. She interviewed and hired every single one of her employees and cares for them as if they're all her family, which they are I guess. She loves being there everyday and if she could she would probably put all 12.5 million dollars into that bar. Instead she lives a modest life doing what she loves.

I have to stop thinking about Ashley. Tonight's about Maggie.

"let's order" she smiles and picks up the menus.

….

"do you want to try a bite?" Maggie offers me a bite of her pasta.

"hell yes" I agree. "I'm such a mooch, it's my greatest flaw" I joke as she holds out her fork of food to feed me.

"well if that's your _greatest_ flaw then you and I are going to have no problems at all" she smiles. "you like?"

"Mmm yeah! What was that?" I ask excitedly. Seriously, it was really good.

"um spaghetti with meatballs dressed in a creamy garlic tomato sauce with capers, olives and mushrooms I think"

"oh it must be the mushrooms, I never have them because Ashley is allergic, we pretty much eat every meal together." I tell my lovely date and I see her practically roll her eyes at the mention of Ashley's name. Now I just feel bad. "I'm sorry, I keep talking about Ashley, I don't mean to I swear, it's just hard for me to tell you about myself without including Ashley, we're always together"

"it's fine, really. She's your best friend and clearly you guys are close." She concedes, but I still feel bad. "in fact I'd really like to meet her sometime"

"yeah?" I ask excitedly, because I really like Maggie and if she was friends with Ashley it'd be perfect.

"of course" she smiles noticing how much I light up at the offer.

"because she invited us to meet up with her and some of our other friends at the bar tonight" I slip in casually, picking at my own dish in front of me.

"like… tonight?" she asks.

"yeah. Is that okay? Like we could just go back to the bar after we're done here or later or whatever… we don't have to if you don't want to" I'm careful to mention. I don't want to push her into meeting all my friends. Hell she's already met my mother; she probably thinks I'm going to propose to her on the second date.

"no, that's totally cool. I'd really like to meet Ashley and the rest of your friends" Maggie tells me sincerely. It's like she's the perfect woman. Seriously.

"what about your friends?" I ask, trying to avoid the topic of Ashley yet again. "When do I get to meet them?"

"To be honest all my friends are back in New York" she shrugs. That's where she's from, I learned that much the other night. She must have slipped it into conversation when I paused to take a breath from mentioning Ashley so much. Note to self: don't mention her again for the rest of the night. "I've only been in L.A. for a few months and haven't had much time to go out and meet people."

"well you're in luck, you're going to love my friends, they're great. They love to drink and laugh and just have a good time, whether it's at the bar or at home."

"Are any of them as Ashley-obsessed as you are?" she asks with a cheeky smile.

"Well, Ashley's biggest fan will forever be Ashley herself" I poke fun at her.

"and who's your biggest fan, Spencer?"

"if you play your cards right, I might just let it be you" I offer with a smirk.

"ooh, I don't know, you've been selling Ashley pretty hard tonight, I'm wondering if I'm out on a date with the right girl" she jokes.

"oh well if you want I could call Ashley right now" I pretend to reach for my cell phone. "As long as you don't mind sharing her with every other bachelorette lesbian in Los Angeles"

"um, pass" she waves off causing us both to laugh. "but the rest of your friends are single, right?" she asks as if she's expecting to hook up with one of them tonight.

"how about I just drop you off at the bar tonight and I go home, it sounds like you've got your night all planned out" I joke and she starts laughing at me.

"no, no, no…" she smiles as she grabs my hand to keep me in place at the table. And she lets her hand linger on mine for a little while, not that I mind. It's been such a long time since I've held hands with someone who wasn't Ashley. "I think I chose the right girl" she tells me honestly.

"on the contrary" I correct her. "I think the right girl chose _you_"

…..

"you got the most disgusting combination I've ever heard of" I tell her as she offers me a lick of her ice cream. It's a triple scoop on a cone of peach, pistachio and bubble gum. We decided to get some desert from the ice cream shop across the street from the restaurant and now we're walking back toward the bar, but definitely taking our time.

"what are you talking about?" Maggie asks in disbelief. "peachstachio gum is the best flavor in the world" she says and I can't help but laugh at her.

"you _would_ make up your own name for it" I shake my head at her as I lick my own ice cream cone.

"oh yeah, what kind did you get then? Probably something boring like vanilla" she pokes fun at me.

"test your taste buds" I tell her as I offer her my cone to lick for herself. She licks my own triple scoop cone, her tongue starting from the bottom to the top, watching me the whole way up.

"mint chocolate chip" she guesses first. "cherry, and…." She pauses and grabs my hand holding the ice cream to bring it closer to her mouth. She takes another lick of the top flavor and pauses to guess again. "banana?" she asks.

"that is… _amazing_. What are you, an ice cream expert?"

"I am actually! I'm secretly a fat kid ice cream expert on the inside. And as the ice cream expert it is my professional opinion that your combination is the worst thing I have ever tasted" she laughs at me.

"whoa! Mint cherryana is ten times better than your…"

"peachstachio gum" she reminds me knowing I've already forgotten the ridiculous name. "with that flavor on your breath you've lost all hope at me kissing you at the end of the night" she teases me.

"first you put me down for my choice in ice cream favours and _now_ you're going to deny me the right to a first date ritual?" I ask as I pause on the sidewalk.

She pauses and turns around on the sidewalk to face me. I smile and take another lick of my ice cream and wait for her to make the next move. She moves in closer so that our bodies are practically pressed together, but not quite.

"these are the worst ice creams I have ever had in my life" she smirks as she grabs both of our cones and throws them in the nearby trash. I'd be more upset if I didn't agree with her whole-heartedly.

"_hey_, you were the one with the idea to pick the three most random flavours and put them all onto one cone" I shrug, not moving from our closeness.

"I thought it would be a new experience" she shrugs back, and this time I feel her put her hands on my hips, slowly at first easing into it as to not freak me out. I grab her hands and wrap them around my waist, closing the distance between us. I raise my arms and wrap them lightly around her neck.

"I wonder…" I start off with a smirk that I just can't help. "…what all 6 flavours taste like at once" Probably horrible, but I can't think of a better way to persuade her into a kiss.

"our date's not over" she interrupts me. "we still have drinks with your friends at the bar" she nods over to the bar across the street. I didn't even realize we were here already.

"Well maybe we could try the goodnight kiss a little bit early." I bring her even closer somehow, but not too close. "I thought it would be a new experience" I repeat her exact words. And without another word of encouragement she brings her lips down to mine for our first kiss. I can taste her peachstachio gum ice cream on her soft lips and I can't help but smile into the kiss, and she must read my mind because she also smiles into the kiss back. She takes a second to really deepen the kiss trying to make sure she gets it right, and boy does she know how to get it right.

"Worst. Tasting. Kiss. Ever" she jokes and kisses me again through our smiling lips.

"what are you talking about?" I ask her softly. "I think mint peacherryanastachio bubble is my new favourite flavour"

"the name really rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?" she laughs, still within kissing range.

"_oh_ I'm sure we'll figure out what rolls off the tongue on our second date" I whisper with a unavoidable giggle into her ear. "come on" I lace her fingers with mine and drag her running across the street to finally meet up with my friends.

*Next chapter: post-date scene from Spencer's POV and some quality Ashley/Spencer/Maggie time


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter

*so originally this was supposed to be 2 chapters but they were both kind of short so I combined them into one super long chapter. But it's the first real look into romantic Spashley in my story.

Spencer

"wish me luck" Ashley tells us with a wink and she picks up her drink and heads to the bar to complete her mission.

"what's the drink system?" Maggie asks the table. I have so many things to teach her about my life.

"Ashley and I have this… system." I start off. "When she tries to flirt with a girl at the bar she'll talk to her and sort of get a gauge for her personality and then she'll order a drink through the bartender and send it to me"

"and each drink is a signal for Spencer to be Ashley's wingman" Rebecca adds in, still sort of watching Ashley out of the corner of her eye. No body wants to miss this. I note that Maggie is almost fully turned around watching the scene unfold.

"I don't get it" Maggie shakes her head in confusion.

"well we sort of have these pre-determined scenarios which I help Ashley convince her target that she should go after Ashley" I tell her, trying not to make this sound as sleazy as possible. Our friends are the only ones who know about this.

"like what do you mean?" Kyla asks.

"like the other day Ashley sent me a cranberry vodka so I went up to Ashley and the girl she was with, and I pretended to be a sort of crazy Ashley Davies fan and asked for her autograph" I say embarrassingly.

"not only does the girl think she's famous, but also nice enough to take time for a fan" Shay points out, she knows what it's all about.

"each drink is just another creative and fun way to pick up girls" Mel adds.

"how many drinks are there?" Maggie asks, enjoying our little game as she's engrossed in Ashley's ways. I turn around to check on Ashley and see her lean into place and order with Fitz.

"oh there's plenty" Christina answers for me.

Knowing Ashley she's probably got something special up her sleeve. If she's putting on a show for her friends she usually goes that extra mile to impress them. However, I have a feeling it'll be my performance going the extra mile.

"Kelly's coming over here with a drink!" Christina says excitedly. Maggie turns around in her seat, still holding my hand, waiting to see what this scenario turns out to be.

"I have special orders to deliver this mimosa for Spencer" Kelly smiles placing the drink in front of me. And I freeze. Of all the drinks she could have chosen, she chooses mimosa. We don't do it very often because I'm not always in the mood to do this one, given my friendship with Ash.

"_oh hell yeah_!" Christina shouts in excitement. Rebecca, Mel and Shay all join in the clapping and shouting in excitement. They know what this drink means because they've been around enough to see it in action. Me, however, I'm going to kill Ashley tonight for sending me this drink, especially since Maggie is around tonight.

"that little bitch" I say to myself, but the entire table as well. I take a sip of the drink and turn around to notice Ashley's still talking to her, well I better get going.

"what does a mimosa mean?" Maggie asks curiously, oddly very into this game of ours.

"don't read too much into it, okay?" I ask giving her a kiss on the cheek before I get out of my chair and saunter over to Ashley and her guess. I only kissed Maggie to convince her not to worry, she probably won't be too pleased with it, but it's just a little game we play. It doesn't mean anything.

It doesn't.

"Ashley" I smile at my best friend who I'm supposed to pretend to be all hot and bothered for. "it's so good to see you" I tell her as I interrupt their conversation and completely ignore the girl in the red shirt. Without even realizing it my hand is placed on her waist, bringing myself closer to her. I give her a sexy smile, getting lost in our closeness just for a second. But I realize I'm here to do a job and I can't let Ashley's good looks or hot body get in my way.

I finally pretend to notice the girl at the hand of Ash's apprehensions and I give her a once over from head to toe. She is kind of cute, definitely not Ashley's type though.

"oh sorry" I tell them not so sincerely. "I didn't mean to interrupt. It's just been a really long time Ash, I've missed you" I smirk at her giving her my best flirty attitude, making it completely obvious. God I hope this doesn't freak out Maggie. I've already spent the entire first half of the date talking about Ashley.

"it's good to see you too, Spence" Ashley tells me with a small smile. I hold her gaze for a second longer than I really should but I can't help it for some reason.

"should I leave you two alone?" the other girl speaks up, and I guess that was all apart of the expected plan, but for some reason I kind of just want to tell her to leave. Ashley can be sexy when she's getting her mac on.

Not that I think she's sexy or anything.

"no, no, please don't go" Ashley pleads her.

"I'm leaving anyways" I tell them both, and I shouldn't feel jealous at all. Because I know at the end of the night Ashley's going to be with me. "but Ashley you have my number, give me a call. I'm not busy this weekend" I tell her and I take a step closer, trying to get as close to her as Maggie was to me tonight.

"At all" I whisper into her ear, but definitely loud enough for both of them to hear. "I'll be waiting" and all of a sudden I feel myself leaning in closer to Ashley's body, it's like it's a natural reaction, and before I can even stop myself I feel my lips pressed up against her neck, just beneath her ear. I leave the softest kiss and flash her one last smile and take my leave, sauntering off in the opposite direction. If that doesn't sell the girl that Ashley is the hottest thing in this bar, well _second_ hottest, then I don't know what will.

I make it back to the smile and the girls are smiling so wide I swear their smiles are about to pop off their face. Everyone except for Maggie that is.

"God, do I love mimosas" Christina openly says.

"Spence, that was hot" Rebecca adds in.

"even I thought it was hot." Kyla even adds. "and I'm straight!" she says, yeah she's definitely had a few drinks. The other girls laugh at her knowing that when Kyla's drunk she usually just becomes one of the gays.

"sorry" I quietly say to Maggie knowing she's feeling a bit apprehensive about the situation now. I place a hand on her leg waiting for her to take it in her own hand and hold it, but she doesn't.

"it's okay" she smiles sincerely. "it's just a bit of fun between friends, right?" she asks, but not really expecting an answer.

"right" I smile back. She understands it, but I don't think she's entirely convinced.

"oh look!" Mel tells the table and subtly points to Ashley handing the girl her cell phone so get her number. Mel, Shay, Christina, Rebecca and Kyla all stand up and start quietly cheering for Ashley, pretending to clap and bow in her presence at her ability to pick up girls. Neither Maggie or myself stand to applaud her.

Now I just feel like I fucked things up.

"that was…_amazing_" Christina tells Ashley as she takes her seat back at the table beside me. And as soon as Ashley takes a seat Maggie subtly slips her arm around the back of my seat and shuffles the slightest bit closer to me.

"and _that_ is how the drinks system works" Ashley tells us all with a smirk and waves a hand to Fitz for another round of drinks.

"So Ashley, does the drink system work for you a lot?" Maggie asks taking a sip of her gin and tonic. A good choice in drinks.

"usually the elaborate ones get something in return, but not always. It's a hit and miss thing really" she shrugs in all honesty. And it's true, the situations in which I have to be overly dramatic and remember to do and say a lot of things are the ones that seem to convince the girls that Ashley really is amazing.

But the girls she meets at the bar will never know just how amazing she is. Not if they're encounter with her is just a one night stand.

"how many?" Shay asks, knowing Ashley's kept track in her head. I lost track a long time ago since we've been doing this probably once a week for the last few months.

"oh Shay, I don't count the numbers" Ashley lies to the entire table.

"yeah, whatever" Mel smirks, and we all know she knows how many girls there have been. Ashley's not the kind of girl to forget anyone. Especially the ones she's showed interest in at the bar.

"alright Kyla, I think it's time we get you home" Rebecca tells Kyla from across the table.

"what? I'm totally fine!" she argues, and she does seem pretty okay.

"Kyla we all know you like to pretend to be gay when you've had too many drink, and you've been playing footsy with me under the table for like twenty minutes now" Rebecca says and we all laugh at her. It's true, she loves hanging out with all the lesbians, not that she'd ever sleep with a girl, but she's just having fun.

"okay, okay…" Kyla concedes and starts to gather her things.

"we should get going too" Mel and Shay tell us preparing to leave.

"we'll get Kyla home" Christina says as she and Rebecca and the couple help Kyla stand up.

"you guys are leaving already?" Ashley asks.

"Sorry babe" Rebecca says cupping Ashley's cute face. "bye Spence, congrats on the job promotion" Rebecca says as she leans in to give me a kiss on the cheek. All the other girls murmur something to the same degree and say their goodbyes.

"maybe I should get going too" Maggie says as she starts to pull away.

"no, wait" I hold her down. "Stay a few more minutes. I want to spend time with you and Ashley" I tell her and I know Ashley can hear us since she's right beside me.

"okay.." Maggie agrees, not wanting to say no to me.

"sorry about stealing your girl earlier" Ashley says to Maggie specifically. "Spence is the only person who knows how to help me with the ladies"

There, a nice little apology to show Maggie it meant nothing. I can feel Maggie loosening up around me already.

"it's cool" she shrugs it off and she's been doing that a lot tonight. I still feel bad though.

We all pause for a second, trying to desperately come up with something to break the awkward silence. I have no problem keeping a conversation with Ashley, and I have no problem keeping a conversation with Maggie, but for some reason I can't keep a conversation with both of them at the same time to save my life.

"so… it must be pretty awesome to live above a bar" Maggie speaks up, thank god someone is saying something. "not having to worry about cabbing home in LA and all that…"

"yep." Ashley nods.

"you guys seem like regulars since you know the bartender and waitresses so well" she adds, and it clues into me Maggie doesn't really know that Ashley owns the bar. I don't usually tell people, and neither does Ashley for that matter. She'd prefer people not know so that they can't take advantage of the free drinks. We probably drink all her profits every night as it is.

"they're practically family." Ashley notes. "the drink system would fall to shambles without them" she laughs.

"yeah, how'd you convince them to help you out with that stuff?" Maggie asks interestingly.

"ha, well they kind of have to…" Ashley says, also finally realizing Maggie doesn't know about the bar. "I'm the one who hired them"

"oh" Maggie says confusingly.

"Ashley owns the bar" I simply tell her, my fingers playing with the mimosa I have still yet to finish.

"oh" she says more understandingly. "so young" she comments.

"you're never too young to have your dream job" Ashley tells her in all honesty.

"no argument there" Maggie replies. Now it's like they're having a conversation without me.

"oh, ash, you'll get a kick out of this" I start out. "guess who decided to pay Maggie a visit at the hospital" I roll my eyes at the already embarrassing story.

"who?" she asks.

"Dr. Carlin" Maggie answers for me and Ashley's reaction isn't quite what I was expecting.

"oh. That's nice. I'm sure she's…planning the wedding or something." She's being so short today.

"oh, guaranteed" I nod in agreement. "my mom's crazy like that, but like a good crazy" I reassure Maggie.

"good to know, should I expect your dad to show up on our next date then?" she asks jokingly, and before I reply I can't help but get lost in the thought of her planning out our next date already.

"nah, if you're going to meet anymore of the Crazy Carlin's Glen will probably be next in line" I tell her honestly. "right ash?" I ask trying to get her to talk more. Instead of replying she just nods with a fake smile. "but speaking of my family, mom talked to Lacey and gave her the address of the bar, she's going to meet us here this weekend"

"oh good" Ashley says quietly. I'm going to kill her.

"Lacey's my cousin who just moved to L.A." I tell Maggie and she nods. "Actually you should come to the bar with us when she arrives"

"now I'm meeting the extended fam?" she asks in mock shock.

"trust me, that's not even what it's about. Lacey is my cousin who always followed me around and copied whatever I did, and she was just so completely awkward and hopeless."

"I'm sure she's nice" Ashley states plainly.

"you've seen pictures of her" I argue.

Ashley shrugs in response.

"alright fine, you keep her busy and Maggie and I will enjoy a few lacey-free drinks then" I tell her while I grab Maggie's hand for emphasis.

"sounds good to me!" Maggie speaks up.

"She can help me pick up girls" Ash says.

"oh _hell_ no, no way," I break her out of her thoughts. "you are _not_ using my cousin for your games and trickery"

"speaking of, are you going to call the girl from tonight?" Maggie asks Ashley, finally finishing off her drink.

"probably not. She's not really my type." Ashley says. I totally called that. Ashley isn't really into the girls who look openly gay, not that she hasn't gone for them before, but I know her.

"it's the suspenders" Ashley and I both say at the same time. And Maggie looks at us both in a little disbelief. Once again, we're kind of used to it.

"you'd never really had a thing for them, have you?" I ask ash.

"I really haven't, I don't know what it is" she shrugs back.

"bad memories from your awkward Steve Urkel phase?" I tease her, but not really. Ashley never went through a dorky phase. She went from cute to hot.

At least that's what I would say if I found her hot. But I don't.

"shut up" she pushes me with a smile. "Don't pretend like you don't think I'm sexy" finally I'm starting to get something out of her. But I'm guessing it's only because Maggie's not really joining in on this part of the conversation.

"yeahhhh, you're alright… I guess" I tell her less than enthusiastically.

"oh well if that's the case you can sleep in the bar tonight" she bites back.

"It can't be that bad, it's not like you haven't passed out drunk and slept in the bar before!"

"oh my god, that was _one_ time!" she yells incredulously and I cant help but laugh at the memory. Ashley was so drunk that night.

"speaking of sleep, I should probably get going" Maggie cuts in. For a second I thought she was still beside me, she's been quiet for the last few minutes.

"already?" I ask.

"Spencer, it's almost 1am. And I've got work tomorrow morning" she tells me. I realize I also have work tomorrow morning. I can't afford to be late or call in sick on my second day after being promoted.

"oh shit, I didn't even realize. I'll walk you out" I say and we get up to gather our things.

"I'll meet you upstairs, Spence." Ashley says as she picks up some of the glasses to start cleaning up the table. She's about to take the glasses back to the bar but turns back around to face us again "…it was… nice meeting you..." she says to Maggie. She didn't call her 'doctor' but I've also noticed she hasn't actually said Maggie's name at all tonight.

"it was nice meeting you too, Ashley" Maggie says politely. "I guess I'll see you this weekend"

"yeah." she smiles, but not too strongly. "Night" and with that she carries some of the glasses and shot glasses back to the bar on a tray.

I walk Maggie over to the front door of the bar and she turns around to say goodnight.

"I'll call you and let you know what time we're all meeting Lacey" I tell her as I lean in closer to her.

"alright cool. I had a lot of fun tonight, Spencer" she smiles. "it was some of the best and worst tasting food I've ever had" she jokes.

"I couldn't agree more. And I can't wait to do it again. Maybe some time we can have dinner at my place, I'll cook"

"I'll bring the various flavours of ice cream" she teases. And with every word she speaks she gets closer and closer to my face.

"perfect" I whisper finally before closing the distance between our lips. Even though it's not our first kiss of the night I'm glad we did finally have a good night kiss. Her hands rest on my hips and bring me even closer. She leans forward a bit causing me to lean backwards, but still hold her in that kiss.

She finally pulls back from the kiss and I miss it already. "okay, I should really be going. Call me" and with that she's out the door.

I turn back into the bar to see Ashley cleaning up the table we were at with a cloth making sure it's clean for the next customers. She may not do a lot of work at the bar per se, but she's respectful of the other employees and helps out when she can. I join her in her walk back to the bar and towards the back door which leads to the stairs of our apartment.

"all set?" I ask.

"yeah, just one sec" she says as she tosses the rag into the back sink and opens the locked cupboard beneath the bar for her personal stash. "what are you in the mood for?" she asks, showing me her collection of liquor bottles. It's not unusual for us to pick up where we left off on drinking when we go back to the apartment for the night.

I pause and think to myself, what am I craving? "…tequila?" I suggest.

"tequila it is" she says and spins around on her heel to the cupboard on the other side of the bar and grabs an already opened bottle of tequila. "let's go" she smiles and we pass Fitz on our way out from behind the bar, looking like we're smuggling goodies from our parents.

"Fitz can you close up?" Ash asks him and the bar seems pretty dead, it is a Monday night after all.

"yeah I got it" he smiles.

"night Fitz" we both say together.

….

Before we even crack open the tequila Ashley and I start getting ready for bed by slipping out of our date clothes and into pajamas in my room. I of course slip into a plain white v-neck and flannel pajama pants, while Ashley opts for the ever so sexy wife beater and underwear. I swear she's been wearing it more and more lately to torture me.

"don't you think it's a little cold to wear that" I nod to her scantily clad pajamas.

"not if I'm in bed with you" she smirks. And I know she's had a few drinks, so have I. It's a pretty normal thing for us to have drinks at the bar and then get really drunk at home. We don't do it often considering the wicked hang over the next day, and it's even worse when I have work the next morning, just like tomorrow, but I love it. Because this is when Ashley and I can really talk about anything and everything.

"plus the tequila will warm me up" she says and opens the bottle to pour us a couple of shots.

"to my best friend in the whole world and her fantastic dream job. I'm so proud of you Spence" she says and knocks her shot glass against mine before downing it. I follow her actions and we climb into my bed with the bottle and glasses still in hand.

I can already feel the effects of the tequila washing over me and I know in after a few more shots my memory will start to fade.

"so what did you think of Maggie?" I ask her now so that I can remember her answer tomorrow morning.

"she's nice" Ashley quips shortly. That's it. No other answer.

"nice" I repeat, sort of like a question, but not really.

"that's what I said" she shrugs.

"you have nothing else to say? _Nice_ doesn't really tell me much" I tell her and she starts to pour us out two more shots of tequila.

"she was…_really_ nice?" she offers, failing to come up with an actual description of what she thought of her. We down our shots together and I cringe in its terrible taste. But I know after a few more shots this will be just like water to us.

She can see my lack of satisfaction with her answers and she tries to continue.

"Spence, do you remember that time that you, me, Glen and your parents decided to spontaneously have Sunday lunch at the park one day?" she asks and I can only nod yes. "okay well do you remember how the park was kind of empty and the sun was out without a cloud in the sky and everyone was getting along perfectly. And then you, your brother and me started playing two-on-one soccer and eventually your mom and dad joined in and it was girls against boys. And a couple hours later we just sort of packed up our cars and went home, it was an okay day, right?" she asks and I take a second to recollect on the memory.

"sure, it was nice…" I shrug, not really seeing the point of the story. It was nice for a day with the family I guess.

"Exactly. It was _nice_." She points out using my own words against her. "nothing too exciting happened, but nothing bad happened, so it was nice. But that's all it was. It wasn't the best day of your life, it wasn't the worst, or the most memorable, but you definitely wouldn't mind going back and reliving that day. It was a nice day, even I think so, but…at the end of the day that's all it was. Nice."

Before I can even process what Ashley is trying to say about Maggie she cuts my thoughts off.

"do you really like her?" she asks seriously.

"what's not to like? She's beautiful, a doctor, stable, caring, my mom already likes her, I can't find a single thing wrong with her" I tell Ashley honestly. And I know if we hadn't already had a few drinks and shots Ashley probably wouldn't have the courage to ask me this question.

"if you think she's so great why are you even looking for something wrong with her?" she asks and I never thought of it that way. I've been praising her so much that in the back of my mind I'm still searching for something to make her seem real. I feel like the date was just a dream because that's what she is, she's my dream girl. I'd be crazy to just pass her up like that, right?

"I'm not" I indirectly lie to her. "I don't know, you can't honestly tell me y'weren't doing the same thing tonighttt" I say as I grab the bottle of tequila from her hand and start drinking directly from the bottle, shot glasses are just slowing me down from forgetting this painful conversation. Is anyone else getting dizzy?

"of course I was. But I was doing it to make sure that she's good enough for you. I don't want you to settle" she tells me as she follows my actions and takes a swig of tequila, nearly dropping it on the bed. Apparently the dizziness is kicking in for her too.

"settle for a gorgeous doctor?" I smirk as if she's crazy. Would anybody actually call that settling?

"settle for someone you don't really love but think you should because she's a gorgeous doctor" Ashley clarifies.

"no one said anything about love, Ash" I point out as I lean back and rest against the pillows propped up against the headboard. "it was just the first date" this serious conversation is sobering me up, but I am still very drunk. Does that make sense?

I see out of the corner of my eye Ashley take another drink of tequila, this one slightly bigger than the rest. Why do we do this to ourselves? As if completely ignoring my own question I steal the bottle out of her hand and take another drink myself. I think that's all I can handle for the night. If I weren't already lying in bed I'd probably be stumbling everywhere.

"you brought her back to meet everyone after the _first date_" she almost bites back.

"because I think I could really have something with Maggie"

"no, you just wanted to test the waters and see if I was okay with you being with someone" she says and not in a happy way, this tequila is turning a night of celebration into a fight.

"and clearly you're not!" I say as I take the bottle of tequila and get out of bed to put it away on a table across the room, just so we don't drink anymore. We've had way too much as it is.

I look at her from my spot near my dresser and see her just sitting in my bed, staring back at me. Even when she's angry there's just something about her that I can't resist. She sees my reluctance to get back into bed with her.

She thinks it's because I'm pissed off at her.

She doesn't realize it's because I don't know if I could resist myself.

"why did you run to her?" She asks, and I know she's asking why I called Maggie the night we were supposed to have dinner. The night that was supposed to change our friendship into something more. And it changed our friendship, but I'm not so sure it was changed for the better.

"because you were busy fucking some girl" I spit out angrily.

"but why did you run to _her_?" she shuts her eyes trying to keep a straight focus on the situation, but the alcohol is starting to really hit her. "Why not Kyla or Rebecca or Mel? Why not any of them?"

"because I wanted to be with someone who wanted to be with me!" I full on yell back at her. "I didn't want just another _friend_, I wanted someone who was interested in me"

"if you didn't want just another friend then why bother making plans with _me_ that night?" she asks and it's one question I just can't get out of. It's one question I can't argue my way out of.

"you_ know _why" I whisper and all eye contact is lost. Now I find myself staring at the ceiling biting back these tears.

"I _do_ know why," She says quietly. "at least I know now. I wish I had known it for sure that night" she says and throws the blankets off of her legs and gets up walking past me and out of the room. I don't move from my spot and just listen to her footsteps trek across the apartment and to her bedroom. I hear the door slam shut and the rest is silence.

I wipe whatever tears are on my face and crawl into my bed, just wrapping myself in the blankets. I don't want anyone right now. I just for once want to be alone. I wish I had felt this way after that one very fucked up night just a few days ago. Maybe things would be different. Maybe if I had wanted to be alone that night, if I had just put up with my loneliness for _one_ more night everything would be different.

I would be with Ashley.

Not Maggie.

But it didn't happen like that. Instead of I've got a best friend who I can't sort out my feelings for, and a great girl in my life who is my dream girl. So what am I supposed to do about it now?

…..

Ashley

I slam my bedroom door shut and crawl into my own bed, not quite sure what else I should do. Shutting away the world seems like a legitimate thing to do.

Fuck, why did I have to just fuck up that night? Why couldn't I have just chosen to go home for one night? For one night just go home, _alone_, and sort out my feelings and what I want from people. Maybe I would have realized all I wanted was Spencer. I sure as hell realize that now. She knew it before I did. She knew how she felt and she knew how I felt. Because she knows me better than anyone else, me included.

I spent the next two hours lying in bed just thinking about this. I gave up on sleep when I realized there was no point if I couldn't get Spencer out of my mind. I wonder if she's doing the same thing. I wonder if she's awake now thinking of just how much we both messed up. The way I see it is I fucked up first by running off with some random girl that night, and she fucked it up even more by calling the doctor.

And now it's too late, because she's with the doctor and I can't compete with her. She's Spencer's perfect woman. Just as I'm thinking this, my thoughts are broken by a noise in the apartment. I stay completely still under my covers in bed as I listen to Spencer's footsteps. I hear her open her bedroom door and lightly goosestep it across the apartment. Shit she's coming to my room. What do I do? Should I pretend like I'm asleep?

It's too late to make decisions as I hear my bedroom door slowly open. I shift in bed, trying to sit up just to let her know I'm still awake. I'm drunk and awake, but no longer angry. How could I be? This whole thing was my fault.

"Spence?" I ask and without a word she crawls into bed with me, but not the other side, she crawls into bed right beside me and I immediately feel her cold hands on my torso. Oh my god, what is she doing? She lies down on top of me and pulls the covers on top of both of us to keep the cold out. I feel a burning sensation in my underwear and realize I'm so turned on right now. She straddles my hips and leans forward causing me to lie back down on the bed. Her hands are slowly running up and down my sides and she leans all the way down to start kiss up my neck. Holy shit, am I dreaming right now or is Spencer trying to get it on with me? I'm practically frozen in my spot and the only thing that can be heard is Spencer's kisses and my ragged breaths.

Because let's face it, if someone as hot as Spencer was straddling you, you probably would have trouble breathing too. I want to so badly ask her what she's doing, but I'm afraid as soon as I open my mouth she'll stop.

Her hands running up and down my sides slowly start to lift my shirt up with them. It's pitch black in my room and I can't see a thing but if she takes off my shirt she'll be able to tell I'm not wearing a bra. The shirt is slowly making its way up my stomach and almost to my boobs when all of a sudden I regain control in my body and place my hands on her hips and roll us over on the bed so that I'm on top of her now. She's completely taken back by it thinking she was in charge.

Her legs are wrapped around my waist and I take this time to grind into her as I lean down and start kissing her neck. He arms wrap around my neck pulling me in closer. I've never felt like this before, so close to Spencer not being able to control myself completely. But I'm pretty sure she's having trouble controlling herself as well. Without even thinking about it twice I pull back from kissing her neck and move to start taking her shirt off. She sits up to help me with it and I quickly pull it over her head. She doesn't lie back down against the pillows but instead stays seated in place. I run my hands down the sides of her body and a little bit around her back, just to get a feel of her body and I notice she's not wearing a bra either. I can feel her face just inches away from mine because her breathing is louder than ever. She's waiting for me to actually kiss her. And I can tell she's afraid, but she's longing for it just as much as I am. Her hands start to come back to my body and I'm almost jolted by them, her fingers ever so lightly play with the waistband of my underwear but not pulling them down.

She notices I'm not moving and takes both of my hands and places them on her chest to let me feel, they linger on her boobs for a few seconds before my right hand moves up just a few inches. I place my hand flat on her chest over her heart and I can feel her heartbeat. It's beating so fast and hard that it's almost scary to feel it. But her heart is beating just as fast and hard as mine is. Almost to the point where it's painful. I slowly lean in, moving to kiss her and I'm so close that I just barely feel my lips brush across hers. But before I can actually kiss her she pulls back.

I freeze.

Did I do something wrong? She quickly takes my hand off from over her heart and lightly pushes me off her and to the other side of the bed. She quickly gets out of the bed, grabbing her shirt from the floor and running out of my room.

She panicked. And she ran.

*thoughts? I'm torn as to whether or not this hook up should be a one time thing they deal with or a repetitive ordeal.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

*kind of a short chapter, but I'm still mulling over everyone's reviews and whether or not I should hook Spencer and Ashley up right now. I promise to reveal it next chapter though!

"one Fitz specialty hangover drink" Fitz says cheerfully placing the drink in front of me in the closed bar. Most bars open around 11am, but it's 1 in the afternoon and we're still closed. We don't open until 3pm here since we don't serve much in the way of breakfast or lunch. Maybe we should start selling these hang over drinks as breakfast. We could probably make a lot of money.

I take a sip of the dark red drink, never ever questioning what's in it. Fitz's hang over drinks usually do help some how, despite how bad they taste.

"Fitz I swear these drinks taste different every time" I tell him through a scrunched up face. "and they get worse every time" Guaranteed he probably has no single recipe for these hangover drinks and just mixes whatever is closest into a single glass.

"yeah well I think you pushed the limits pretty far last night." He says. We're the only ones in the bar, and thank god, I don't think I would be able to handle anyone else right now. Though I really would like it if Spencer were here, then maybe I could talk to her about what happened last night. I didn't get much in the way of sleep but I was up around 7am ready to vomit, when I heard the front door open and close. She snuck out of the apartment before I could even talk to her.

"Spencer and I almost hooked up last night" I inform him. I don't keep secrets from Fitz. I wasn't kidding when I said the people who work here are like my family.

He let's out a heavy sigh and wipes a spot on the bar that is already clean. "well I can't say I'm all that surprised. A lot of people have been waiting for it to happen"

"slow down there Fitz, I said we _almost_ hooked up" I say and take another sip of this horrific drink. It doesn't taste as awful when I feel like shit for so many other reasons anyways. "she panicked and ran out of the room before anything could really happen"

"wasn't last night just her first date with the doctor?" he asks.

"yeah and then we went back to the apartment to catch up and everything and with the tequila things just went downhill. Well downhill, _then uphill_, then downhill again" I say. "it wasn't even really the tequila, it was just bad feelings were brought out"

"you told her what you really thought about the doctor, didn't you?" he smirks knowing that would be the cause of it all.

"all I said was that she was nice!" I argue. "…what did you think of her?"

"she's a knock out" he shrugs, commenting on her physical beauty, he never actually met her in person. And I'd prefer to keep it that way. Only because I'm afraid if he actually met her and saw just how great she was he'd be on Spencer's side.

I really wanted to hate her. But I can't. She's perfect.

But she's no Spencer.

"yeah, I know…" I agree with him and lie my head down on the bar. Life sucks. "Spencer won't even answer my phone calls."

"she's probably busy at work" it's sweet that he tries to make me feel better.

"or avoiding me" I add. I know she is.

"that's probably the more likely case," he comments. "but you know what'll make you feel better?"

"sex with Spencer?" I ask quietly from my place on the bar top.

"I think sex with Spencer would make anyone feel better," he says. "but I meant drowning yourself in-"

"-alcohol?" I cut him off.

"no, grabbing a couple of-"

"-boobs?" I cut him off with a smile and I can tell he's getting frustrated with me. Okay, enough joking.

"cases of beer." He finally says. "It never hurts to just bury yourself in work sometimes. Come on, help me out, we've got the delivery of the liquor. It's time to earn your keep"

"I own this bar and pay for the alcohol" I tell him as I raise my head to watch him head toward the back entrance.

"well then it's time to act like it then. I bet you the doctor works ten times harder than you do" he teases me.

"that is so low" I growl at him. "remember, I could fire you at the drop of a hat!"

"I know" he smiles big. "but I figured if you were going to fire me you would have done it a long time ago. Plus, no one knows how to run this bar like I do. And the chances of you finding a new bartender to partake in your immoral drink system is highly unlikely"

Say what you will about the guy, but he's right. Always has been. There's just something about bartenders that make them so wise.

…

Spencer

I intentionally woke up early, despite the killer hangover, but that was anticipated. After what happened last night I just needed to leave. I got up, quickly showered and ran out the door for work. I think I had heard Ashley running to the bathroom at some point, probably experiencing the tequila for a second time and saw it as my chance to escape. I just couldn't deal with her this morning. I couldn't answer the questions that she was bound to have, mostly because I didn't know how to answer them myself.

What was I thinking last night just sneaking into her room like that?

Do you have any idea how close we were to actually having sex? It took everything I had to pull away from her, but I could just feel her hand on my chest, and she could feel my heart beating so fast. It's easy to lie with words, but how do you deny a heartbeat. I shouldn't even be having these feelings for her. These feelings should be for Maggie. If I wanted to have sex last night I should have just slept with Maggie. It could have messed things up but now I feel like a screw up with Maggie would be better than a screw up with Ashley.

I showed up to work an hour early and stayed 2 hours late. At that point I was just searching for reasons not to go home. I grabbed some quick dinner outside, walked around the mall for a bit, walked around L.A. for a bit, all just to avoid going home. I've just been blocking it out of my mind all day looking for some peace and quiet away from the chaos, but it was no use.

I finally decided to go home around nine o'clock. I thought that Ashley would be busy at the bar so now would be the perfect time to sneak in. I went around the side alley and used the door by the loading entrance to get in. We rarely use this door just because it's so much more convenient to use the door through the bar, but I couldn't risk it. I made it to the stairwell and into the apartment, ready to just go to my room and go to bed, and maybe do this all over again tomorrow. But how long could I avoid her for? One day already seemed torturous enough. I've never had to avoid Ashley like this. Ashley would always be the person I go to when I'm in a crisis like this. But who do I go to now? Fitz is a great listener, but he's more Ashley's guy than he is mine. Kyla is her sister and we have all the same friends, it just wouldn't seem fair to any of them.

There's Maggie of course, but there are just so many reasons that I couldn't go to her about this. One, we just had our first date last night, and two I can't exactly say 'I like you, but I almost slept with my best friend last night, WHAT DO I DO?' She'd probably run away from my faster than Ashley did when she thought I was going to confess my love for her.

Great, I'm love repellent.

I walk into the apartment and notice the flat screen in the living room was left on. Ashley probably forgot to turn it off before going down to the bar. I walk over to the living room area, about to pick up the remote and turn off the TV when I see a sleeping Ashley passed out on the couch. I guess the late night last night and the early morning vomiting didn't give her too much sleep. Trust me, I'm on the verge of passing out as well.

I can't stand not having my best friend anymore. I just need her so much, she's always been the one person who I almost never get into fights with and now I realize why, because if I don't have Ashley, I don't have anyone. I take the remote from her hand as carefully as possible, turning the TV off behind me and taking a seat on the coffee table in front of Ashley's sleeping body.

I can feel myself start crying and breaking down in the silence of the apartment. I never wanted any of this to happen, I never wanted to develop feelings for Ashley, things would be so much easier if we were just friends. That's it. Nothing more.

All of a sudden I feel a hand softly touch my knee, I look up and Ashley's awake, but hasn't moved yet. Hasn't said anything yet. But what do you say to a crying girl sitting right beside you. She looks just as sad as I am, about to cry, but trying her best not to.

"I need my best friend" I tell her through the tears that just keep falling from my eyes. I take her hand in mine and she squeezes it tightly. So tightly that it feels as if she's afraid someone is going to pull us apart.

"I can't do this. I can't fight with you, I can't spend my days avoiding you" I continue and she has yet to say anything.

"I know" she whispers to me and she finally tugs on my hand for me to lie beside her. She opens her arms and shifts as far back into the couch as she can, I lie down beside her and I know there's not enough space for both of us so she wraps her arm around me and holds me up against her body as I cry.

"I need you too." she whispers softly.

And it just feels so good to be with her. To know that things are okay, that she feels just as lost and confused as I do. It all feels so much better than trying to pretend like nothing happened…like nothing_ is_ happening.

It feels good. But it hurts to know that I want her so much but shouldn't.

I just can't. I have Maggie, and Ashley has a different girl every week. If we got together and broke up, I wouldn't know what to do with my life. I live with her, I eat with her, I go out with her, I drink with her, I do almost everything with her. If we got together we would risk losing all of that.

"you know we can't though" I mumble into her shoulder, she doesn't say anything for a while but I know she heard me.

"Spencer, I love you" she finally says it. And she has told me she loves me before, of course only on a platonic level. But this time, this is a different kind of love. She's finally telling me that she loves me and that she wants me. And it only hurts that much more.

I don't reply and her grip on my body still remains so strongly in tact. I never want to move from this spot.

"I know right now that you think that we can't be together, but I don't think I could be without you" she says and I can feel her tears slip down her face and press into my skin.

"that's why we can't." I finally speak. "one mistake… that's all it would take" that's all it would take to ruin everything we have been working toward for the last 5 years. It would ruin the relationship we have been building for the last 5 years.

I don't even have to tell her that I love her at this point. She knows. And she knows just how difficult all of this is for me. How difficult it is to say no to her.

I'm sure it hurts her just as much as it hurts me. But she knows where I'm coming from. Because she knows what I'm thinking and she knows the thoughts running through my head.

"is it because you love her more than me?" Ashley asks, and I know she's referring to Maggie.

"…it's because, I think one day, I could love her as much as I love you." I tell her in all honesty.

I shuffle my body down just a few inches, falling into the curve of her body. My head seems to find its way down to her chest and I let it rest there, the semi-quick beating of her heart calming me down.

"I don't want to lose you" I pull back from her body and come face to face with her still lying on the couch. The close proximity is just so damn hard to resist, but I have to. I could kiss her now or just walk away from it all and be with Maggie.

So which is it? Who's the one who gets their heart broken?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 12

*longer chapter, don't judge it until you read it all the way through

As I'm finally walking home from work I have so much on my mind. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and stop to read the text

"_meet u at the bar –Lacey"_

As made clear by the text Lacey is finally coming to meet for drinks. I told Ashley and Maggie to be here tonight just so I wouldn't be left alone with Lacey. The girl is family and I love her to death, but if she's anything like she was a few years ago I'm going to kill myself. And I think it's good, I'm sort of easing myself back into my friendship with Ashley. Things are different to say the least but if there's one thing I know for sure it's that I can't stand to not have her in my life. And I think I'm always going to need her.

"hey you" I hear a voice from behind me. I've been waiting outside the bar, just having arrived back from work. I wasn't too sure if I should be alone with Ashley and alcohol. Especially when I knew Maggie was coming soon.

"hey _you_" I smile and lean in to give Maggie a quick kiss on the lips.

"what are you doing out here?" she asks.

"just waiting for you" I lie with a smile.

"oh that's sweet" she smiles, actually believing me. I would never be able to get a lie like that by Ashley. "come on, let's go inside" she says as she holds the door open for me, letting me go first. For such a girly lesbian she is definitely wearing the pants.

"where's Ashley?" she asks, knowing she's around somewhere.

I walk over to the bar about to lean in to ask Fitz the very same question when I notice Ashley at the other end of the bar trying to pick up some girl.

"there she is" I nod subtly for Maggie to see. I can tell she wants to wrap an arm around my waist and lean in over the bar to see as well, but she hesitates behind me and instead chooses to just lean over the bar beside me, closely though.

"Ashley is definitely working it tonight. That girl is so hot" she whispers into my ear, but in a sexy way. "but not quite as hot as you are" and I smile to myself. This girl is too good to be true. I glance over again at Ashley and her new acquaintance and from what I can see she has long wavy brown hair, probably perfect enough to be in a shampoo commercial and a tight black t-shirt. She's exactly Ashley's type.

"are you going to help her out or what?" Maggie asks knowing this would probably be the exact time when I would put the drink system into action. We haven't done it since that night Ashley showed Maggie how it worked, and I'm surprised Maggie is actually okay with it.

"you sure?" I ask with a raised eyebrow as I turn around in her arms.

"sure" she shrugs. "isn't that what you guys do?" she asks innocently. And I can tell that she actually means it. I can't really tell if Maggie has noticed the dynamics in my relationship with Ashley change, or if she's just completely oblivious to it.

"alright" I say. Though I'm not entirely sure how Maggie feels about the whole situation. Then again, how sure am I?

I try to step out and get Ashley's attention to let her know I'm here but she can't seem to peel her eyes off of this girl. I wave my arm a bit higher but she still doesn't see me. Instead I watch as Ashley throws her head back in laughter. It's not even the fake kind of laughter that Ashley uses when she laughs at a girl's lame joke. It's real laughter. Ashley is actually enjoying herself and having fun.

"Fitz" I call him over knowing I'd be able to get his attention.

"hey Spencer" he smiles. "get you anything?"

"uh… see if Ashley needs anything, will ya?" he glances over at Ashley then back at me with a nod. I watch as he walks over to Ashley and leans in asking if they need any drinks. She looks back at him in confusion, to which then her eyes finally flicker over to me at the other end of the bar. She gives a small laugh as she quietly says something to Fitz while smiling over at her new lady friend. Fitz gives her a quick nod and goes about mixing up a drink. Within just a few seconds he walks back over to me placing the glass in front of me.

"a glass of water?" Maggie asks in confusion. "what does that one mean?"

"water…means the deal is already sealed" I tell her.

"oh" is all she says and I think she can feel something is wrong when I feel both arms wrap around my waist from behind. "Well that just means more Spencer time for me" she says softly. I can't help but smile at her. But I also feel a little weird with her arms all over me in front of Ashley. I subtly step out of them, but I don't want to give her the wrong impression. I am into her. I'm just not into anyone in public.

"wouldn't you like that" I flirt back wit her. "_but_ don't forget tonight isn't about you, or me, or Ashley, it's about my cousin" I glance around the room, scanning it for my cousin.

…

Ashley

"what's a gorgeous girl like you doing sitting at a bar all alone on a Friday night?" a voice asks me as the seat next to me is quickly filled. I glance over and to my surprise there is a very sexy brunette sitting beside me. I take my time to look her up and down, and I make sure to let her know I am most definitely checking her out. Black cork wedges, very dark blue skinny jeans wrapped around those perfect legs and a very tight band tee with a slit down the cleavage area to boot. She looks around my age and I have to ask myself why aren't I going after this girl? I don't even remember the last time a girl tried picking me up with such confidence.

But as hot as this girl is, I haven't been in the mood for someone new in a while.

"I'm waiting for a few friends." I tell her as I take a drink of my rum and coke. I try and give her a short answer and the turn away just to let her know I'm not interested. In what lifetime would any normal person give this girl the shut down? Had this girl approached me a week ago she would probably already be in my bed.

"likewise" she smiles, and boy does she have a sexy smile. Perfect teeth, gorgeous hair. Shittt this is going to be hard to resist. "but I see no harm in keeping each other company until they arrive"

I notice her take a sip out of what looks like and cranberry vodka, yet she seems very well put together and sober. Not something I often see in the girls who flirt with me first.

"persistent" I comment. I like it.

"what's your name?" this beautiful mystery girl asks me.

"Ashley" I say simply.

"Ashley, tell me by some one in a million chance that the stars have aligned in my favour tonight and this beautiful girl sitting alone at the bar is actually single" this girl has got her A-game going on tonight.

"it appears to be your lucky night" I confirm with her and I can't help that it came across as flirtatious.

"I think if you gave me your number you'd see we just might both get luck tonight" seriously this girl is on fire, and she knows it too.

"I don't give out my number" I tell her, finally taking a stand. I'm wondering how far I could push this girl until she gives up, if she gives up at all. I've got nothing to lose anyways.

"well then at least let me buy you a drink" she tries again, but I just glance down to my still full drink and then back at her. I stop myself from laughing and I'm about to tell her I don't need her free alcohol when she stops me, "I know the owner of the bar" she tells me quietly as if she's trying to be modest and keep it to herself. I laugh inwardly at this girl. Never in all my years of drinking have I ever heard a girl try to pick someone up by pretending to know the owner.

"_I_ know the owner, and I've never seen you with her" I'm quick to tell her.

"oh you know her? Then maybe you know my cousin" Cousin? Oh shit. Oh no. Oh shit. "Spencer Carlin?"

Aaaaaaand there it is, ladies and gentlemen. The exact moment when I can honestly say I didn't see it coming.

"fuck me" I exasperate, closing my eyes. I did not just spend the last 10 minutes of my life being picked up by Spencer's little cousin. Though I can honestly say she is not the same girl from the pictures.

"oh, well if you insist. Your place or mine?" she asks cheekily. She did_ not_ just say that to me.

"Lacey Carlin you are _not_ old enough to be drinking in this bar" I say taking the drink straight out of her hands.

"Whoa. How'd you know my name?" she asks, desperately trying to get her drink back. I look at her for a second and I just tilt my head waiting for her to get it.

"You're Spencer's best friend, aren't you" she asks, not really expecting an answer.

"Not only am I Spencer's best friend and roommate, but _I_ am the owner of this bar, and do you have any idea how much trouble I could get for serving alcohol to a minor? I cold lose my license!" usually Fitz is more on top of this stuff, but I have to admit, this girl looks a lot older than she actually is.

"Fitz!" I call him over. "turn this cranberry vodka into a virgin" I say handing the drink back to him. "and don't serve her any alcohol" I tell him strictly as I point to Lacey. He gives a quick nod and exchanges the drink before going back to the other customers.

I look at her again and still can't believe it.

"I can't believe I just flirted with an 18 year old" I mutter to myself.

"so…" she starts off awkwardly. "how about that number?" she asks, and I can't help but laugh back at her.

"I've seen pictures of you as a young girl." I mention. "_this_" I say, motioning to her entire body and the sexiness that it encompasses "I did not expect" and that right there was enough for her to come up with a smirk.

"well legally I may not be able to drink, but there is _one_ good thing about being 18" she smirks and takes a step closer. This girl is seriously hilarious. I know she's just playing with me at this point.

"don't even go there" I laugh and lightly push her back down into her seat. I take another look at her and just how fine she is and I just laugh to myself. Can you imagine what could have happened if I wasn't already so caught up with another Carlin?

"so where is Spencer anyways?" she asks me, finally getting comfortable and not so flirty. "Aunt Paula told me she has a new girlfriend?" I practically cringe at the mention of the word 'girlfriend'.

"of course Paula told you about her" I roll my eyes. "and she's not her _girlfriend_"

"Are you kidding? I practically got her life story over the phone a few days ago. I'm expecting my wedding invitation in the mail any day now" I like this girl. She knows what's good.

"hm, yes well, the doctor has made quite the impression on Paula. Yet somehow she must have conveniently managed to forget to mention my name to you. I'm _only_ Spencer's best friend."

"to be honest with you, I heard more about her than I have about Spencer, I wouldn't take offense to it"

"Well you're in luck, I think she's bringing her tonight." I mention casually.

"does she live up to her doctor reputation? Is she really all that Aunt Paula makes her out to be?" Lacey asks. I don't really know what Paula had to say about the doctor but I'm sure it's not far from the truth.

"and then some" I tell her in all honesty. Can't help but hate the girl, but she is pretty perfect.

"you don't like her?"

"she's… nice" and I guess I really shouldn't be using that word to describe her anymore. It got me into so much trouble the first time.

"well I think you're a pretty cool person, I'll help you steal Spencer back" she says and I nearly start choking on my drink.

"excuse me? What?" I ask, finally managing to breathe again.

"you and Spencer" she shrugs. "you hate her girlfriend because you secretly want her? It's kind of obvious"

"you don't even know anything about my friendship with Spencer" I'm quick to point out and sure to use 'friendship' instead of 'relationship'. "and she's _not_ her girlfriend" I remind her sternly again.

"two lesbians living together without romantic feelings? Yeah right" she scoffs, ignoring the girlfriend comment. "And the fact that you don't even like her new _companion _kind of makes it obvious"

"you know, it's possible for me to not like the girl my best friend is dating" I point out matter-of-factly.

"yeah but you already called her nice…and have yet to actually out right deny my accusations" this girl knows her way around logic. I don't like it.

"how old are you again?" I ask, I never expected her to be this smart…and wise. Especially in the way of lesbianism.

"old enough to be good in bed" she smirks and I can't help but actually throw my head back in laughter. She never gives up. I have to give it to her though. She is definitely not the lesbian I was expecting her to be. Gorgeous and confident was not something I would have described the younger version of her.

"I know what you're thinking" she says, noticing the look in my eyes as I just kind of watch in amazement. "a lot can change in 5 years. People seem to forget that braces eventually come off, hair grows and gets cut again, and when my boobs finally came in my confidence skyrocketed. If anything, I think that transition from young girl into early adulthood is the time when people change the most"

"And you are a living example of that" I nod with a smile.

"ladies, can I get you anything to drink?" Fitz leans over and asks and he particularly gives me the stare down, and I realize what he's doing. My eyes flicker to the blonde across the room and the doctor right behind her. My stomach drops at the sight of Spencer being cute with the doctor. I know she chose her over me, but it still hurts. But then it occurs to me that Spencer thinks I'm trying to pick up some girl. Lacey still has her back turned to the door so Spencer can't even get a look at her face.

"Don't look now, but Spencer's here" I mention to Lacey as Fitz and I are still leaned in close. "she thinks you're some girl I'm trying to pick up" I tell Lacey and she starts to laugh.

"what?" she says and she's about to turn around, but I stop her.

"let's have fun with this" I smirk. "Fitz, send her a water please and thank you"

"water it is" he smiles and off he goes to make her a drink.

"am I missing something?" Lacey asks, still confused but I shuffle closer to her to make it look like I'm really flirting, not that Lacey has a problem with it.

"it's a complicated story but Spencer saw us across the room and just assumed I'm trying to pick you up"

"little does she know it was _me_ trying to pick _you_ up" she flirts back with her sexy voice.

"and failed at it" I add with a smirk.

"for now" she just smirks back.

"well _for now_, Spencer is under the impression that you and I are about to go back to my place and jump in bed."

"play your cards right and that could still happen" she shrugs.

"do you ever stop flirting?"

"not really" she answers quickly and confidently.

"maybe you're better off saving it for someone your own age" I suggest as I offer my hand for her to take just as we're about to go and meet Spencer and the doctor.

"maybe I'm better off saving it for someone who isn't in love with my cousin" she says and instead of replying with some smart ass answer, I just pick up my drink and pull her along to where Spencer is.

This is going to be fun.

…..

"Spencer, hey!" I catch her attention, as she and the doctor are about to take a seat at one of the tables at the back.

"hey" she says awkwardly, expecting me to have already gone home. Lacey is behind me but I can tell she's intentionally looking away to try and avoid revealing herself to Spencer. "I thought you were busy"

"oh, _I am_" I say with that tone where I'm just up to no good. "but I just met this girl and I think I'm in love" I whisper to them. Spencer practically chokes on her drink and her eyes grow crazy wide. It takes everything I have not to laugh and ruin it all.

"she's perfect" I whisper to Spencer and the doctor, keeping them at close range, Lacey pretending not to hear. "we've been talking for like half an hour and we just hit it off so well! I don't even know her name yet, but she's…._perfect_" I shrug, fuck I should have become an actress. This is just too good.

"uh…um…" Spencer is at a completely loss for words. And I'm dying on the inside.

"baby, come meet my friends" I say to Lacey as I bring her closer by our clasped hand, rubbing her arm up and down.

"Spencer?" she shouts excitedly.

And her face just drops.

"Lacey?" she asks and I swear she's about to have a fucking stroke. Lacey goes in to hug Spencer and manages to wrap her arms around the girl and Spencer is still frozen.

"you…and Ashley?" she asks. Still stunned.

"Spence, I think I'm in love" Lacey whispers clearly having overheard my conversation with Spencer just seconds before.

"oh _hell_ no!" she says and pulls back. "no!" she shouts again and I've never seen her this shaken. This is too much. Maybe it's time to come clean. I give Lacey and look and she knows it's time.

"there is no way you and my cousin are getting together. What the fuck? An 18 year old, Ashley?" and of course Spencer starts yelling at me, lecturing me.

"Spencer!" I try to get her attention but she just keeps going.

"she's my little cousin, are you crazy? _In love_? No way, you've only known each other for 2 seconds and you're ready to be in a relationship, are you fucking kidding me?" and now this is getting out of hand.

"Spencer" Lacey says calmly and grabs a hold of Spencer's shoulder. "we're just fucking with ya!" she says jokingly. "Ashley and I just met at the bar 20 minutes ago and we've just been talking, that's it."

"you..what?" Spencer asks trying to catch her breath.

We both start laughing at her but only because it was moments away from Spencer having a complete breakdown.

"Lacey sat down beside me at the bar and was trying to pick me up-"

"-which almost worked" Lacey adds in.

"but I said no because I was meeting up with you guys tonight. Come on, you know you always come first" I smile at her pulling her into a side hug.

"and might I add it is a very rare thing that I get shut down" Lacey says confidently. And she has every reason to be confident. Spencer covers her face in embarrassment from her freak out and still tries to process everything.

"so…you're not together?" she asks turning to bury her face into the doctor's shoulder.

"no" I say.

"not yet" Lacey says at the exact same time, and I just roll my eyes at her.

"Spencer, you never told me how hot your cousin was though" I point out in all honesty.

"time has been good to you" Spencer nods finally pulling her little cousin in for a long awaited hug.

"it's amazing what puberty and a little make up will do for a girl" she says and all of a sudden she finally notices the doctor. "oh hey, I'm Lacey" she holds out her hand.

"oh sorry!" Spencer finally realizes. "Maggie, this is my cousin Lacey. Lacey this is Maggie, my…" and she's at a loss for words. Even though the rest of us have been calling the doctor her girlfriend for a while now.

"just Maggie" she smiles, not wanting to make Spencer feel uncomfortable any longer. "or you can call me 'the doctor', I hear it's a popular nickname amongst everyone else" she jokes. Fuck, she caught on. I completely avoid eye contact at this point.

Lacey and the doctor finally shake hands and when they pull back Lacey just gives me a look. And I know what the look means. She's totally on my side. I knew I would like her. We all take a seat at one of the tables and Kelly comes to take drink orders.

"so how did you know she was my cousin?" Spencer asks me as she takes a second to lean in closer to Maggie so that they could be all couple-y. Spencer looks so uncomfortable and it seems so unnatural for them to do it. I almost cringe, but I ignore it.

"I didn't. She's nothing like what I expected. I was imagining some awkward blonde girl, who looked a few years younger"

"she's a Carlin" Spencer points out. "blonde hair runs on my mom's side of the family, not so much my dad's"

"right, right" I agree. "I was not expecting Arthur's side of the family to be so…"

"beautiful? Gorgeous? Sexy? Take your pick" Lacey says confidently, but not arrogantly, causing the rest of us to laugh.

"please do not associate those words with my dad" Spencer comments, covering her ears for effect.

"I don't know…" I throw in for fun. "When Arthur wears his 'Kiss the Chef' apron I always go weak in the knees" I joke causing everyone to laugh, even Spencer.

"sorry, I have to ask, you're 18?" the doctor had to ask. Not that we weren't all thinking the same thing.

"in my prime" she shrugs. "I can't help that bars and clubs and girls all think I'm a few years older" she smirks. And Spencer and the doctor immediately look down to her cocktail at the table.

"it's cranberry juice" I'm quick to announce.

"well it appears I'm going to have to call my mom tomorrow to inform her that Lacey most definitely does not need our help adjusting to the L.A. lifestyle" Spencer says. She couldn't be more right. This girl has LA pegged.

"if anything, Los Angeles is going to need to adjust to _you_" I tell Lacey with a quick nudge.

"well as comfortable as I may seem at the gay bars I'm still lost in a new city" she reminds us.

"I can show you around" I shrug. "I know Spencer does the 9 to 5 thing, these days it's more like the 9 to 9 thing, but I'm free during the day" my eyes flicker to Spencer's and then back to Lacey. Spence and I both know she's been avoiding me a lot this week. Today was the first day that we finally got back into the groove. If you could even call it that. It's more like the first day that Spencer pretended like we're back in the groove.

"yeah?" Lacey asks, a little surprised. "that sounds cool, if that's alright with you Spencer"

"sure…yeah" she says meekly. "I've been pretty busy lately anyways. With the job and spending all my free time with Maggie I haven't really had much time to do anything else"

"that's cool, there's no rush to spend time together I guess. I'm settling into the new apartment and classes start up next week so I'll be busy too" Lacey says.

"what are you studying in school, Lacey?" the doctor asks. Is it weird that I get angry every time she says something? Like maybe it's her voice that I find annoying? Or her need to feel included in everything. I probably sound like a psychotic bitch….but I really don't care.

"business…at UCLA"

"business?" I ask out loud, a little stunned by her answer. And I immediately make eye contact with Spencer because I know she knows what I'm thinking.

"don't even think about it" Spencer stops me, but all in good humour. "you don't actually know anything about business!" she argues.

"I do too! I run my own business establishment" I point out, gesturing to the entire bar that we are in.

"no, you _bought_ your own business establishment, you have no idea how it operates"

"I know more than you think" I tell her in all honesty. Spencer thinks all I do is drink at the bar every night, which is true, to a certain degree. But I take care of inventory and arrange shipments and I make personal relationships with regular customers, I take care of paychecks every other week, I see my lawyers once every 6 months to check in with budgeting and profit.

"actually" Lacey speaks up. "I wouldn't mind getting to know more about your bar and everything" she says in all honesty.

"I would _love_ to help" I reply to Lacey, but my eyes are strictly focused on Spencer just to rub it in her face.

….

We decided to call it an early night. Lacey complained that she wasn't getting any action and the doctor had to be up early for some morning shift. Plus we'll be seeing lots of Lacey tomorrow anyways since she's coming with us to family lunch at the Carlin's. I dread the day that Paula will invite the doctor to join us, it's just a matter of time really. She's already all but adopted her into the family.

"and to think you were all stressed and panicked about your annoying little cousin coming to L.A." I tell Spencer as we unlock the apartment door and enter inside, turning on all the lights on our way in.

"how was I supposed to know she was going to grow up to be…"

"…a hot lesbian?" I finish for her, tossing my keys onto the side table by the door.

"yeah, well…don't let my parents hear you talking about her like that" she says and walks over to the fridge for drinks. "you want?" she asks.

"beer me" I tell her and watch as she pulls out a couple of beers for us. She hands on of them to me as I walk over to the living room area, opening the bottle with the help of my shirt and turning on the TV. Spencer walks back to the kitchen to find a bottle opener for herself.

"do your parents know that Lacey got hot?" I ask, eyes hypnotized by the TV, taking a sip of my drink.

"I kinda doubt it" she tells me. "I think if they had more recent pictures of her they would have shown us"

"I wish _I_ had a recent picture of Lacey" I mumble quietly to myself. _Girl is fine._

"I heard that" Spencer says, still standing in the kitchen, now checking out the mail for the day. I can't help but smirk, but I don't let her know it.

"I'm just saying, you don't see too many naturally beautiful girls like her around here…"

"that's because this is Los Angeles. There are so many plastic surgeons no one even knows the definition of natural beauty anymore" she tells me from across the room.

"are you trying to tell me you don't think I'm naturally beautiful, Spence? That's just mean…" I pretend to feign innocence. She pauses and looks at me in disbelief. Not because she thinks she offended me, but more because I would assume she doesn't think I'm hot. Let's be honest here, I'm totally hot.

"your long list of one night stands could easily reaffirm your attraction and natural beauty" she tells me honestly, both complimenting me and taking a jab at my whore-ness at the same time.

"Speaking of one night stands," I tell her catching her attention. "if Lacey's last name wasn't Carlin she and I would probably be in my bedroom at this very moment"

"okay, I get it, you think my cousin is hot! Do you ever talk about anything else?" she asks with a smile and a shake of her head. I can't help my attraction to the ladies.

"jealous?" is all I ask. And now it's her turn to smirk. She drops the mail and puts her beer down on the table, turning in my general direction.

"jealous? You think _I'm_ jealous?" she asks and now we're both smirking. It's a smirk-fest. Can't help but love when a girl can make you smile.

"I think you're _very _jealous" I challenge her. I drop the remote to the couch and place my beer on the coffee table beside me, turning around to face the blonde.

"jealous of what?" she asks, letting her fingers play with the beer bottle, trying to kill time, waiting for my answer.

"my oh-so-_dedicated_ interest in your _extremely_ attractive cousin" I inform her.

"oh, is that what you think?" she asks and her fingers pause where they are.

"would you like to attempt to prove me wrong?" I ask, waiting for her to make the first move.

And it's like she's been waiting for me to say those words all along. She starts walking across the room in my direction, picking up the pace a little bit as she goes and eventually hurdling her body in mid air toward mine. She jumps up on me, legs wrapping around my hips and my hands quickly go to her thighs to hold her in place. Her arms quickly wrap around my neck for support and she brings us very close together.

"now, why would _I_ be jealous of my cousin?" she asks, very closely to my face. "While she is sitting at home alone in her one bedroom apartment, I am _here_ with you and I get to do this…" she says and she leans down to press her lips into mine. And I don't think I'll ever get over that amazing feeling of her lips against mine. I deepen the kiss and turn us around so I can sit down on the couch. Never once separating our kiss I take a seat and now instead of holding Spencer up I have her straddling me. She brings her arms out from around my neck and lets her fingers trace down my jaw line and to the pressure points down my neck. I kiss her again and again, never wanting the moment to end. We agreed that kissing is as far as we would go right now and I'm completely okay with that, because I see absolutely nothing wrong with having Spencer Carlin sitting on top of me, giving everything she's got into this make out session. I'd rather have her half way than not at all. And I'm glad she feels the same way, but I'm going to do everything I can to make her mine.

Okay, so Spencer didn't choose me.

But she also didn't choose Maggie.

And I guess that's better than nothing.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Ashley

I woke up staring at my own alarm clock. 8:00 flashed red in my face as just stared at the digital clock. The last couple days have just seemed like a blur. Wanting Spencer, telling Spencer, watching her with the doctor, getting Spencer. What have we come to? In what twisted world do I only get to be with the person I love only half way? It sucks. But it's out of my control.

8:11

I'm still staring at the clock. Maybe it's time to get up. It's not like I'm going to be able to go back to sleep. Not with thoughts of Spencer running through my head. I whip the sheets off my bed and walk out of my bedroom into the cool morning air of the silent apartment. Trying to make as little noise as possible I hop over to Spencer's bedroom on the tips of my toes to see if she's awake. We agreed no sleeping together. Apparently 'sleeping' not only means no sex, but also no actually sleeping together. Because let's be honest here, sleeping would probably lead to sex. I quietly push the door open and lean my body up against the doorframe.

Her crazy blonde hair is whipped all over her face and her body half sprawled out in the bed. God, I probably couldn't sleep with her even if I wanted to, she looks like she'd kick me out of bed in her sleep. Crazy bitch.

I slip into the room anyways; she's worth the risk. I tip toe over to the other side of the mattress and slide beneath the covers beside her. Leaning myself up against one elbow I use my other hand to move her hair from her face. I see her face scrunch at the touch and her hand unconsciously moves up and hits me in the face. I pause, slightly in shock. I look at her face and she's still asleep. She's lucky she's asleep; I don't let anyone slap me. I shake it off and pick up her hand in mine, kissing just inside of her palm. I watch as she slightly shifts in her sleep and it makes me smile. I start kissing up her arm now.

Her palm.

Her wrist.

Her forearm.

Her shoulder.

"well good morning" her raspy voice lets out. I look to her face and she's just got this huge smile so big she can barely control it. And just like that my heart starts beating painfully fast again. It's amazing how a little time can change how you feel about someone. And how someone can make you feel.

I try to convince my body to say 'good morning' back, but it's not quite getting the message.

"what are you smiling at?" she asks. And I didn't even realize I was smiling back at her. I probably look like a fool with a smile just as big as hers.

"Morning" Wow. Delayed much? She just chuckles at me as she turns her body over, draping an arm over my hip.

"did you sneak into my room after I fell asleep last night?" she asks, not too angry. Well if I had known she'd be this calm about it maybe I would have tried it.

"no, I was under the impression that wasn't allowed when you warned me 'no sleeping together!'" I give my best impression of Spencer, which just consists of my voice going so much higher than normal pitch. "I just came in a few minutes ago."

"and what exactly were you hoping for when you decided to come in here?" she asks in a fun way, not a flirty way, just fun.

"well Spencer there is only _one _reason I would come to you this early in the morning, and I think you know _exactly_ what I want…" I say flirtatiously as I lean in closer and closer to her face.

I see her fun smile turn into a flirty smirk within seconds.

"I think I _do_ know what you want…" she whispers back and she starts to lean up bring her lips up so that they're almost on mine.

"whoa, whoa, _whoa_…" I say out loud as I quickly pull back from her. "I was talking about breakfast…what were you talking about?" I ask and she can't help but burst out in laughter. I whip the covers off of both of us and jump out of bed. "come on, my pancakes won't make themselves!" I tell her, pointing to the kitchen to make me some food.

"if you think I'm making you _breakfast_ after pulling that stunt, you're crazy" she tells me as she shits up in bed, swinging her legs over the side.

"fine…I guess I'll just settle for a kiss then" I sigh disappointingly.

I watch as she walks toward me, closer and closer, keeping her eyes locked on mine. With every step she walks closer and closer and farther and farther.

"whoa, where are you going?" I ask as I notice she walked right past me and kept on walking.

"you had your chance" she says as she turns around to start walking backwards and shrugs at me. "I'm going for a shower" that's just mean.

"well hey…you know if you need some company…"

"you know that's not-"

"-allowed?" I roll my eyes. One day. "I know, I know…"

"but I wouldn't be opposed to some breakfast when I come out" she says and closes the door behind her. Bitch. She knows I'll make her breakfast too.

Fine. Two can play this game

….

Spencer

I step out of my bedroom finally just finished blow-drying my hair, the smell of fresh pancakes hitting my nose.

"smells good" I tell her as I run a comb through my hair, but I'm only wearing jeans and a bra at this point. I know it's mean, but torturing her is some of the most fun I've had in a while. With the new promotion I've got a lot more responsibility so I have to get my kicks somewhere.

She glances to me about to reply when she realizes what I'm wearing. I try to play it cool and not laugh but it's so hard as I watch her struggle. She almost accidentally drops the bowl full of pancake batter and curses quietly to herself.

"okay, so not fair. _That_ should be against the rules" she says pointing to…all of me.

I roll my eyes, even though I was expecting just that sort of reaction, but I hop back into my room for a second, grabbing a t-shirt I already had waiting for me on the dresser. I walk over to the kitchen where she's still flipping a few pancakes. I pull out the orange juice, waiting for her to say something to me or do something but instead she just keeps her eyes on the pancakes.

"what kind are you making?" I break the silence.

"banana" she replies simply, but trying her best to conceal a smirk.

"I hate banana pancakes" I tell her honestly, shouldn't she know that by now?

"I know" oh, wait, never mind. She does know. "did you think I wasn't aware your favourite pancakes were chocolate chip?"

"then where are my delicious home-made Ashley chocolate chip pancakes?" I ask. "I'm hungry, bitch!" I yell and she only giggles at me.

"maybe if you asked me politely I would make you some…" she suggests. We both know that politely doesn't actually mean politely here. It means something completely different.

I take a step to stand behind her, closer than ever, pressing our bodies together as I wrap my arms around her stomach and lean my head into her shoulder and into the crook of her neck.

"please?" is all I whisper before I start lightly kissing her neck. She freezes in flipping the pancakes, much too distracted by me. This really isn't all that much different from how we would act before this whole thing happened, but I mean all that's different is the neck kissing. I'm used to her being all touchy-feely around me. Which is maybe why it's all so comfortable for us.

I reach my arm up and turn her chin to face me. She's so close and she knows I'm about to kiss her. She pauses for a second, reveling in the close proximity. And I can practically hear her thoughts telling her to try her best to resist kissing me. I don't even know why she tries anymore. Just as I'm about to lean in and finally kiss her this morning we're interrupted by a knock at the door. I quickly jump back in complete surprise, as if we almost were just caught in the act. Ashley smirks and continues to flip the banana pancakes before her.

"it's open!" she shouts and glances back quickly to get a look at my reaction. "your pancakes are on the table by the way" she points to my chocolate chip pancakes already waiting for me. The door finally opens and Lacey enters the apartment.

"hey" I say a little surprised as to why she's here, and how she knew how to find us upstairs.

"I was told there would be banana pancakes" Lacey says confusedly, as if there weren't banana pancakes she would probably turn around and walk right back out that door. At least now I know why Ashley was making banana pancakes.

"oh, I borrowed your phone and invited Lacey over for breakfast" Ashley quickly clarifies. And here I was thinking we'd at least be alone for the morning. Which now I'm starting to think she's just going to tempt me all morning and afternoon. Ashley slides the banana pancakes she's making onto a plate and hands it over to Lacey as she settles in and takes a seat at the table just opposite of me.

"I figured since we're all driving down for lunch later we might as well all just hang out this morning" Ashley tells me as she steals a pancake from my plate and sits in the seat at the table perpendicular to mine.

"doesn't matter to me as long as I have my pancakes" I tell them both taking a huge bite out of the stack in front of me.

"funny, that's freakishly similar to what Lacey told me on the phone" Ashley says as we turn to Lacey who is shoveling an equally large, if not larger, mouthful of pancakes into her mouth. "sexy" Ashley sarcastically tells Lacey as she struggles to chew the amount of food in her mouth.

Lacey of course only replies with a wink, forcing Ashley and I to laugh out loud. Lacey brings her A-game everywhere. Ash shakes her head at the nonsense and looks over to me and she just subtly smiles at me. I take a very brief second to pause and smile back at her, only because her smiles are contagious. I look back down at my pancakes, trying my best not to keep smiling but I can't help it.

Before I can take another bite out of my breakfast I hear a gasp from across the table.

"you two are_ totally_ doing the deed!" Lacey accuses us immediately.

"_what?"_ Ashley and I both yell at the same time. There's no way in _hell_ Lacey could tell that Ash and I are hooking up. Like come on. This girl has a sex radar like no other.

"no, we are not" I clearly say. Trying to get my racing heart under control. The fear of being caught really gets to you sometimes. Ashley just remains silent going along with what I said.

"oh come on, the side stares, the subtle smirks, the snide-"

"-okay, thank you, that's enough alliteration for one day" Ashley cuts her off. "we're not sleeping together" she adds. I'm glad she's at least keeping it a secret. We discussed boundaries between us, I guess you could say, but we never established what we would tell others.

"you're not…" Lacey says in confusion, still under the impression we are sleeping together. "are you sure? Because I can keep a secret, I'm great at keeping secrets! Like Spencer, remember that time our parents went to that family wedding and everyone left the kids at Aunt Wilma's place and you peed the bed? I never told anyone!"

Oh my god, and _now_ I'm embarrassed. Can we just go back to her revealing the secret about Ashley and I hooking up?

Ashley's head immediately whips to look at me incredulously and she's doing her best to hold in her laughter.

"don't you _dare_ laugh" I warn her seriously. Her hand covers her mouth to control her smile, but her eyes give it away anyways.

"this is why I don't tell you secrets! You can't keep them!" I yell at Lacey in all honestly. Clearly she can't. Ashley is never going to let me live this one down.

Lacey pauses and quickly realizes that she actually just gave away my secret to my best friend.

"okay, well this is different, I can keep relationship secrets" she argues, still trying to get it out of us.

"there's no secret to keep" I tell her and Ashley is doing the smart thing and remaining silent.

"so you're not together" Lacey says.

"nope" I confirm, going back to my pancakes.

"So you wouldn't ….get jealous if I did this…?" She asks and pushes her chair out so she can stand up. She takes a seat on Ashley's lap at the breakfast table and puts an arm around Ashley. I watch as Ashley just lets Lacey sit on her, she turns her head and raises and eyebrow at me wondering just how far I'm willing to let this go before I finally confess to Lacey.

"Who Ashley lets sit on her lap is her own business" I shrug with a challenging posture as I lean back in my chair, not caring.

Or at least pretending to not care.

"what if I did this?" Lacey says and takes it a step further by positioning herself now so that she's not just sitting on Ashley's lap, but she's actually straddling her in the chair. By instinct Ashley's hands move to Lacey's hips to make sure she doesn't slide off.

If she keeps this up there's going to be one less Carlin and family lunch today.

I simply just shrug back at her to show her it doesn't affect me. If I opened my mouth to say something I'm not so sure I could control myself. Ashley on the other hand wouldn't be able to say anything even if she did open her mouth. She's in a very compromising situation between two girls who seemingly want her.

"Good." Lacey says. "then you won't mind… if I do… this" Lacey becomes quieter with every word as she lifts her hands to Ashley's jaw to bring her mouth closer to hers.

"okay, _stop_!" I finally yell just as my cousin is about to kiss my best friend. I shut my eyes, I can't believe I'm going to do this. "Fine. Ashley and I have been hooking up" and it's all I can say without defining our actual relationship. Truth be told, I don't even know how to define our relationship anymore.

With a smirk, Lacey subtly slides off of Ashley and back into her seat without so much as a kiss.

"I knew it" she smirks, oh what I wouldn't give to wipe that smirk off of her face. I glance to Ashley who's still in a daze from her seductress.

"hey" I start snapping my fingers in her face. "you still in there?" she finally snaps back to reality and gives me a goofy smile. The things that girl would do for some action.

"don't mind me" Ashley says with her smile as she stands up. "I'm…going to go take a shower" she says with a pause and puts some of the pans she used to make breakfast into the sink. "a cold one" she mutters to herself as she heads to the bathroom.

"hey" I say as I grab her hand from my seat as she walks behind me. I gently pull her back and down. I bring her lips to mine for our first kiss of the day, and I'm sure it wont be our last kiss of the day either. She freezes against my lips, not entirely sure how to react to our kiss with Lacey sitting just a few feet away. She pulls back and without another word she heads straight for the bathroom for her shower.

"so I take it Maggie doesn't know?" Lacey asks as we both go back to eating our pancakes. I glance to her making eye contact, then back down to my food. A look is all I need to communicate in order to tell her 'no'. "Well she at least knows that you and her aren't exclusive, right?" and this time instead of giving her a glance I just sort of stop what I'm doing.

I never actually thought about that. I mean, by no means are Maggie and I exclusively together, but I never confirmed with her that we weren't.

"Spencer, you have to at least tell her that you're not exclusive!" Lacey points out as she notices my lack of response. Surprisingly, Lacey's not judgmental about me dating more than one person at a time; she's more concerned about _how_ I do it.

"look, Lace, I can handle it. I'm 23, I'm not fresh out of high school like you are, things are different" I say.

"it's not an age thing Spencer" she tells me, clearly annoyed at playing the age card on her. "this is just a relationship thing"

I ignore her, not actually replying. I don't know what to tell her at this point, I have so much to sort out before I can begin explaining it to other people. My thoughts are only interrupted by Lacey snickering to herself.

"what?" I ask.

"nothing…" she shrugs. "it's just… I can't believe golden child Spencer is sleeping with two girls" she smirks.

"I'm not sleeping with two girls!" I yell incredulously. "I told you before Ashley and I aren't having sex. And I've only known Maggie for a week"

"a week is a lifetime at my age" she tells me. "so you're really not like…sleeping with either of them?" she asks trying to wrap her head around idea of dating someone without sex.

"believe it or not I don't go to bars to pick up women and have one night stands with them, I actually like relationships" I tell her honestly. That's always been Ashley's game and I never saw the point of it. Yeah I mean sex is great and all but I guess it means more to some people than it does to others. And I think that's part of my attraction to Maggie. I know she's very similar to me in that way. She's not constantly seeking a one-night romance with someone; she's looking for something long term. And even then she's not _looking_ for anything, she lets it come to her. Ashley on the other hand is the complete opposite. From what I see, Lacey is pretty much the same as Ashley. So it's hard to explain to her just how I feel about both girls.

"_wait_" Lacey pauses with a blank stare on her face. "what's a _ree-lay-shun-ship_?" she asks jokingly as she sounds out the word in slow motion. I can't help but laugh at her joke.

"exactly" I chuckle.

"you know Spencer, when we were younger and I would follow you around and imitate you and try to be like you, it was for a reason" she tells me seriously.

"what 12 year old doesn't want to be like their cooler older cousin?" I shrug, not expecting a response. It's always been like that. I remember even when I was younger I always thought Glen and his friends were cool. But then I quickly came to terms with my sanity.

"I know, I know, it's just even at 18 and living on my own in a new city with a new life, I'm still a little jealous of your life. You know you have a job and a best friend and two girls chasing you. You live above a bar! Right now I would give anything to be in your shoes" even now she's still envious of me. I don't think she quite understands the inner turmoil I go through with choosing a romantic relationship between Maggie and Ashley.

"trust me, it's not all it's cracked up to be" I tell her. "your life is pretty enticing as I see it" which is true, girl is young and free to do whatever she wants.

"you're right, sex is fun" she smirks, not what I meant, but yeah I guess that's part of it.

"it's not that I don't have the option to sleep with one or both of them" I tell her honestly, which is very true. I'm sure I could walk into the bathroom now and join Ashley in the shower and she wouldn't even think twice about it. "it's just a choice. I like monogamy, I like when sex is meaningful"

"you really are the golden child, aren't you?"

….

"Lacey!" I hear my mother shout from across the room as we finally enter the house. She comes in and sweeps her into a big hug.

"hi Aunt Paula" Lacey says between gasps for breaths of air from the tight hug. "where's Uncle Arthur?"

"oh he's out back at the barbeque" she smiles and points in the general direction of the backyard.

"oh hey Glen" Lacey says with a smile as she passes him on the way to the backyard

"Lacey…!" he says, caught off guard as he and Lacey share a quick hug. While hugging her we seem him mouth a "WHAT?" to us and we just smile. Ashley mouths back an "I know!" to him. It's just incredibly hard to believe how different she looks sometimes.

"hi girls" my mom says sweetly to us, giving us each a kiss on the cheek hello. "lunch is almost ready so why don't you go sit down"

"um, who was that?" Glen mutters to us as we walk with him down the hallway. "because I _know_ that wasn't Lackluster Lacey"

"Glen!" I bite back at him. "don't call her that" I warn him.

"it's not like the name fits anymore" Ashley quietly adds. We all take a seat at the table while we watch Lacey catch up with my parents over preparing lunch. "more like _Luscious_ Lacey" Ashley smirks.

"gross, that's our cousin" I point out. "Lovely Lacey?"

"too boring" Ashley says, which is true, Lacey isn't exactly someone you would call lovely. Not that she can't be.

"Lucky Lacey?" Glen suggests.

"Lively Lacey?" Ashley suggests.

"Little Lacey?" I suggest. She is our little cousin after all.

"there is nothing little about that girl" Ashley says making a motion with her hands referring to the size of Lacey's boobs. Both Glen and I take a second to scrunch our faces in disgust.

"Limelight Lacey?" Glen suggests noticing Lacey's ability to steal our parent's attention so easily.

"_Limelight Lacey…"_ Ashley mulls it over. "I think we have a winner" and it's true. Ever since Lacey has arrived in L.A. she seems to be the centre of attention, for more than just her physical beauty too. It's amazing how much someone can change.

"agreed" I tell them both as my parents and Lacey finally come and take a seat.

"Spencer, Lacey was just telling me that she got to meet Maggie last night" my mom of course starts. That woman is obsessed with her.

"yeah…? She also met Ashley last night" I say as if it's not a big deal. Which it really shouldn't be.

"when are you going to bring Maggie to meet us?" my mom asks.

"_Mom_" I scold her. "first of all, despite telling you otherwise you just happened to be at the hospital when she was working her shift last week, and second, we've only been seeing each other for a week"

"the point is I think you should invite her to lunch next week" My mom tells me.

"she's probably working" god, I hope she's working. The longer I can keep her away from my family, the better.

"oh, well then maybe we should do Sunday dinner instead… or even Saturday works for us" my mom says looking at my dad. She is pushing this so hard.

"okay fine, I'll talk to her" I concede.

"hey ash, you up for a butt kicking in basketball today?" Glen challenges Ashley. And thank god for the change in subject.

"you wish!" Ashley immediately bites back. "good thing your mommy's here for when I beat you so bad you start crying" she taunts him and the rest of us can't help but roll our eyes. Every week there's some sort of new challenge and it never gets old. Though it does become predictable.

Ashley and Glen battle it out for an hour, Ashley comes close to beating Glen, Glen throws Ashley over his shoulder and wins at the last second. We all know that's how it goes down, even Ashley anticipates Glen cheating, but it's just something they do every week.

"in your dreams, Davies" he teases right back.

"oh please, I bet I could beat you even if Spencer was on my team" Ashley says.

Um, I think I was just insulted.

"_hey!_" I throw in there.

"you're on!" he challenges her before any of us can take it back. How did I get thrown into this? "two on two. You and Spencer versus me and Limelight Lacey!"

"who the hell is _Limelight Lacey_?" Lacey asks in confusion. Oh, I guess that nickname is out of the bag. "it sounds like a stripper's name"

"you are _so_ going down" Ashley says once again, effectively ignoring Lacey and her comments. She always gets so competitive with Glen.

…..

We're all standing out in the driveway, my parents are watching from the sidelines ready for amusement, and I think my mom brought out the first aid kit just in case. I don't blame her really. Someone is bound to end up injured.

Glen is talking to Lacey, most likely establishing some sort of game plan. Meanwhile Ashley pulls me aside to make up her own game plan. Or at least pretend like it.

"okay, I'll cover Glen, you cover Lacey. You're about the same height as her so you can probably take her, do you know if she has ever played basketball? You know what, it doesn't matter. Glen's the only threat here" wow, she is actually so serious about this game. I cant help but roll my eyes at her, she is so competitive sometimes. "all you have to do is pass me the ball when you get it and I'll take care of the rest. But listen carefully because near the end of the game Glen will probably cheat and throw me over his shoulders at which point you'll have to take the shot"

"wait, what?" I stop and listen finally. "that wasn't apart of our deal!"

"Spence come on, it's just one shot" she argues. "playing two on two is the only way we'll ever be able to actually beat Glen. Do this for me and I'll make it worth your while tonight" she wiggles her eyebrows.

"you're using your sexual attraction to bribe me?" I ask her, a little stunned. She's never done that before. Well she's never been _able_ to do that before.

"is it working?" she asks hopefully.

"you cover Glen, I'll cover Lacey" I sigh and walk over to start the game.

"so wait, is that a yes?" she shouts and I just ignore her.

We spent the next half hour playing the most exhausting game of basketball of my life. Dad spent the game cheering Ashley and I on, while mom was cheering Glen and Lacey, just to make things even. But I have to tell you this has been the worst basketball game of my life. I never realized just how many rules Ashley and Glen break whenever they play their games. There is travelling and shouting and so much trash talk that this would never fly in an actually refereed game. Think less basketball and more a game of figuring out the best ways to trick your opponent. Apparently the number one rule of the game is the dirtier your play, the better.

"Hey Paula, you better get the tissues out, looks like Glen's just one basket away from crying" Ashley taunts Glen as she dribbles the basketball as Glen guards her. We're tied 10 for 10, game by ones until eleven. Usually any longer than that and Glen and Ashley pass out from exhaustion, I have to admit it's a lot of running around. But that's only because it's mostly Ashley running with the ball and Glen chasing her. But Ashley's not that bad of a basketball player, she can still make the shots just as good as Glen.

I have my arms up and waving around to make it look like I'm pretending to play, and Lacey is more or less pretending to guard me. We're not half as interested in this game as Ashley and Glen are.

"are you forgetting about my special move?" Glen asks with a smirk.

"don't you dare" Ashley warns him as she starts trying to fake him out. First she goes left, then she goes right, but just as I think she's about to get by him, he grabs her by the waist from behind lifting her up into mid air. Lacey turns around and watches in awe at the manhandling and I take this time to run behind her and grab the basketball.

"shoot, Spence!"

"no!" Glen shouts almost in slow motion, dropping Ashley to the cement driveway and throwing is body to try and block my shot. I toss the ball, granny styled up in the air, closing my eyes in fear Glen would actually tackle me.

"it went in!" I hear Ashley shout from the ground and open my eyes to see Glen hang his head in shame, giving Lacey a dirty look for not covering me properly. He is such a sore loser. Ashley jumps up from her spot on the ground and throws her arms around me, picking me up. I'm still sort of frozen in shock that the ball actually went in the hoop. That was probably a one in a million chance for me.

"Ashley, put me down" I squeal and she slides me down quickly and I grab onto her arms for safety.

"ow" Ashley winces as my arms slide down her arms. She takes a look at the far side of her elbow and notice it's scraped. "oh, would you look at that" Ashley says more surprised than in pain. "must have been when Glen dropped me"

"_GLEN!"_ me and both of my parents all yell at the same time.

"sorry! It was an accident" he apologizes though he's really not all that sorry. "it's not my fault Ashley doesn't know how to fall gracefully"

"it's fine, really." Ashley says looking at her arm. "it's a battle wound form our _victory_" she rubs into Glen's face. Glen looks like he's about to come push Ashley back down to the ground again but before he can my mom steps in.

"and _this_ is why I brought out the first aid kit" my mom says as she walks over to Ashley's side to look at the scrape. "it's not too bad, Ashley why don't you go inside and wash it first then we'll put a bandage on it" she says, clearly slipping into her Dr. Mom mode.

"come on, Ash, I'll help you" I tell her as I take her good arm and lead her into the house, giving Glen a dirty look on our way. I lead her up the stairs and into the connecting bathroom in my old room. "sit down" I tell her and she hops up on the counter just to the right of the sink waiting for me to get a cloth out.

"does it hurt?"

"no, not rea-OW!" she shouts just as I place the warm cloth on her arm. "yes, yes it does" she corrects herself.

"…_baby_" I chide her.

"Yes, sweetie?" she retaliates. Ugh and I practically cringe, pet names aren't really my thing. And she knows that too. "So…since I have you alone for a few minutes…." She starts and I pause to raise an eyebrow at her. "I just wanted to _talk_" she emphasizes and I nod for her to continue.

"this thing…" she starts and I already know she's talking about our thing. The thing between us. The thing we don't know how to define so we're forced to call it a 'thing'.

"mm?" I urge her on. The less I say about it the better. Therefore I have less chances of saying something hurtful or wrong or stupid, or all of the above.

"we discussed rules, like no sex, no sleeping together…but we never really talked about what we would say to other people…" she says hesitantly. "and obviously earlier today I know you seemed pretty for keeping it on the down low, but…"

"clearly that didn't work out as well as I thought" I add seeing as Lacey was able to get it out of us within a matter of minutes. Though I think Lacey has a special sixth sense for that kind of stuff, especially when it comes to lesbians.

"is this something that you _want_ to hide?" she asks. If I say no, then she'll think that we can tell everyone and things will be okay. If I say yes, then she'll think I'm ashamed of her. I sound like a horrible person.

"I don't know" I honestly say. I really don't. I'm still unsure as to where this will lead our friendship.

"well what do you know?" she asks, but not in a rude way.

"I think maybe for now…we'll keep it to ourselves, but if our friends find out then I don't want to lie to them"

"…and your parents?" it's even tougher to say with them. Because they're like parents to both of us.

"I don't usually tell my parents about a relationship unless it's a serious one" I tell her simply, and it's true. I hardly bring girls home to meet my parents because I haven't been in a serious relationship in a while. And this thing with Ashley is far from serious.

I think.

"you told them about the doctor" she points out.

"no, _you_ told them about the doctor" I clarify. And I watch as she laughs to herself quietly.

"oh yeah…" I cant help but smile at her laugh.

"speaking of…_the doctor_" she loves to emphasize that little nickname. "you're going to tell her at least, right?"

"I think I have to" and it's like all of a sudden I switched back into best friend mode. Sharing things with her I usually wouldn't share with a romantic partner. The thing with Ashley is not only is she my best friend she's also someone I'm dating, and sometimes it requires her to be one or the other, never both at the same time. Because if she's both at the same time lines become blurred. "I think I owe it to her to be honest and everything, you know…?"

"how do you think she'll take it?" she asks me.

"well we've only been seeing each other just over a week, and it's not like I'm breaking up with her. I'm just telling her right now I'm keeping my dating life open"

"so you're not going to mention that it's me you're being _open_ with?"

"should I?" and once again I'm asking her as a best friend.

She shrugs at me and watches as I carefully put a few band aids over her cuts. She doesn't need a big bandage or anything. "I don't think it'll be too hard to figure out…"

"she didn't figure it out last night" I remind her. And I know it's a bit of a double standard when it comes to Maggie. I'm much more open about being with Maggie than I am with Ashley and if anything it makes Ashley seem more and more like a secret.

"you're all done" I say putting the last of the band aids on her and tossing the wrappers in the trash under counter.

"kiss it better?" she asks with a cute smile that I can't resist. I roll my eyes at the cheesy question and bring her arm up to my lips giving it a soft kiss.

"better?" I ask.

"well my cheeks hurt a little bit too from smiling so much" she smirks. "probably from smiling in amazement that you actually made that last shot and we beat Glen" she taps her cheek waiting for me to kiss it better.

"you're lucky I'm in a good mood from winning" I say as I cave in and give her a kiss on her cheek. "anywhere else that hurts?" I ask and now she knows she has me.

"uh yeah…." She says quietly. "my lips are kind of hurting too"

"oh yeah, I bet they are" I smirk and start kissing my way from her cheek all the way over to her lips. I end up standing between her legs that hang off of the counter, letting my hands rest on her thighs as I continue to kiss her. In one swift moment I grab her hips and pull them until they slam against mine. She lets out a hard moan and I'm instantly wet. She presses harder into the kiss and wraps her legs around my waist as tightly as possible. Fuck, why did I tell her no sex again?

I'm never going to be able to last. But I'm not about to give in, especially not at my parents' house, someone could walk in at any second.

Her hands slide down from my neck an grab my ass. Oh god. It wouldn't be too awful if we did it in my parents' house right?

Right?

I start rocking back and forth in my spot, rubbing myself up against her and I know it's driving her as crazy as it is me.

"Ash, take off y-"

"-_BUSTED!_" someone yells from the bathroom door. I literally jump back…or at least I think I do. Either I jumped back or Ashley pushed me away. The point is I'm practically on the other side of the bathroom, heart beating out of my chest.

"I knew you two wouldn't be able to resist being alone" Lacey says with a smirk. "you're lucky I was the one to volunteer to see if you guys were okay"

"you're lucky you came when you did" Ashley says as she wipes her mouth a little and hops off the counter. "a few more minutes and you might have seen your cousin in a very _naked_, compromising position" Ashley says as she pats her on the back and walks right out the door.

And she wasn't lying.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

It's been a few days since the first Sunday lunch with Lacey and things have been good for the most part. Spencer goes to work doing the usual 9 to 5 thing and comes home in the evening to hang out like usual, of course now there's the occasional sneaking into the bar's kitchen to make out, but whatever. The point is it's been working out. She's still been seeing the doctor every now and then, going out on dates, but I choose not to ask about her because it's kind of awkward now. If Spencer can maintain both relationships then I don't see much of a problem. Of course I'd rather have her all to myself, but you know…

The only thing is that it's tough keeping this secret to myself. Lacey goes to school 5 days a week and her classes are spread out all over the place so it's sometimes difficult to coordinate with her. Sometimes she'll stop by the bar on her way home to say and hang out, but she's still pretty busy. But there are a couple of people that I could tell without having to worry about the repercussions.

It's 6 o'clock on a Thursday evening so the bar is kind of dead, most people don't come until after 7 or 8 on most weekdays.

"Hey Fitz, can I get a beer and white wine spritzer, please?" I ask him as I take my regular seat at the far side of the bar by the back entrance.

"double fisting tonight?" he asks as he pulls a bottle of beer out of the mini fridge and pops off the cap, getting ready to start on the other drink.

"_haha_" I laugh sarcastically at him. "Kyla's going to be here in a few minutes"

"gotchya" he nods and places Kyla's drink on a coaster just to the left of me. "I'll leave you to it then"

"no, wait, there's something I wanted to talk to both of you about" I tell him and he holds back for a second, with a raised eyebrow.

"hi!" Kyla says as she walks into the bar, hurrying it along to her seat beside me. "I hope I'm not late" she smiles as she gives me a kiss on the cheek. "hey Fitz" she smiles at him as well and leans over the bar to give him half a hug and a kiss on the cheek as well.

"hey, you're right on time" I tell her. "I ordered you a drink"

"oh thanks" she replies. "so what's up with the urgent meeting?" she asks, taking a sip of her drink.

"hey guys!" Spencer pops out from behind us, she must be on her way out. She gives Kyla a hug knowing she doesn't see her too often. Kyla and Fitz both say hi with their own smiles.

"going out?" I ask.

"yeah, I'm going out to dinner with a friend" she says simply. And we all know she means she's got a date with the doctor. I don't know why she bothers to hide it.

"with the doctor?" Kyla asks and I can't help but smirk. The funny thing is I never actually told Kyla that I nicknamed her 'the doctor', Kyla's actually just referring to her by her profession because she doesn't know her that well.

Even then, Spencer still glares at me knowing I passed it on to her somehow.

"that would be the one" she says to Kyla. "anyways, I'm running late, so I'll see you later" she gives Kyla a kiss on the cheek then gives me a kiss on the cheek and blows a kiss to Fitz because he's so far away and quicksteps it out the door.

"…sorry Ash" Kyla says quietly thinking that Spencer flaunting her dates bothers me.

"yeah, about that…" I start, glancing from Kyla to Fitz and back. "I'm really not all that upset about Spencer dating the doctor" I tell them honestly. And I can tell by the looks on their faces that they're a little stunned by it. "…because I'm also seeing her"

"_you're dating the doctor too_?" Kyla literally yells. I love her to death, honestly I do. But sometimes… girl is _dumb as a post._

"No. _Spencer._" I correct her.

"right, Spencer's dating the doctor" she's still not getting it. And I'm not sure if it's because of the way I phrased it or her brain just can't wrap around this idea.

"Kyla," I pause getting her attention once and for all. "Spencer is dating the doctor. But I am also seeing Spencer" and she just stares blankly back at me. "in a romantic way" I add.

She looks from me, to Fitz, then back to me. Frankly, he's not quite as stunned as Kyla is, especially since I know he watches us from afar and sees what happens sometimes.

"you and Spencer are together" she says plainly, still not revealing any emotion.

"yeah I guess, sorta" I reply.

"you and Spencer are_ togetherrrrr_!" she says in that 'aw, that's so adorable' way. She pulls me into a hug and I know she's been waiting for this moment for a while. "Finally!" she says excitedly as she pulls back.

"good work buddy" Fitz smiles genuinely, I think he out of most people know how much I wanted this.

"yeah well let's not jump too far into this. Spencer and I are only together behind closed doors, so don't tell anyone" I tell them specifically.

"so explain to me how this is working… because I know if you had a choice you wouldn't want to share Spencer. You never have" Kyla asks.

"what's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean even when you two were just best friends you didn't want her to be best friends with anyone else" she points out.

"that's because being best friends with more than one person defeats the purpose of being _best_ friends with someone" I point out as if it should be obvious. Which it should be.

"the point is, how are you okay with this?" she asks.

"I'm not" I tell her. "well I mean, I am, but only because I have to be. Spencer's just so worried about ruining our friendship that she doesn't want to make the commitment."

"well what is she going to do?" Fitz asks. "she can't keep dating the both of you forever"

"I don't know, she doesn't exactly want to think about it, but she told me that she would talk to the doctor about being non-exclusive, so as of now I don't have much to worry about"

"but you're obviously going to seduce her into a relationship, right?" Kyla asks.

"oh of course" I answer quickly and without hesitation.

"well you let us know what the plan is and we've got your back" Kyla says referring to both her and Fitz. "Right Fitzy?" she asks.

"are you kidding? I'm pretty sure it's written somewhere in fine print on my contract that I'm legally bound to help you and your relationship woes" he smirks.

"I'm sure I slipped it in there somewhere" I joke back with him. Just then I notice Lacey enter the bar, obviously just getting back from school.

She gives me a wave from across the bar and I wave her over to where we're all talking. "Kyla there's someone I want you to meet"

Just as I tell Kyla this Lacey approaches the three of us and I already see the girl-seducing-look on her face. "Ky, you remember how I told you Spencer's cousin was coming to live in L.A. right? This is Lacey" I smile looking forward to seeing how this encounter unfolds.

"nice to meet you" Kyla says genuinely and spins in her seat to shake Lacey's hand.

"Lacey, this is my sister Kyla" I inform her.

"it is _very_ nice to meet you as well, Kyla" she smirks at her and lets her hand linger in Kyla's.

"aren't you just so _adorable_" Kyla tells her and she cups her face like a child. Lacey's face drops and gives me a stare in a mixture of disbelief and disapproval. Fitz and I can't help but burst out in laughter. She's most definitely not used to being called adorable.

"straight" Fitz gives a fake cough to inform Lacey that Kyla doesn't play for the same team.

"for now" Lacey says, she always likes a challenge. "anybody who shares the same good look genes as Ashley is certainly a friend of mine" and just like that she's got her game back.

"she's _good_" Kyla tells me and Fitz as she turns around to comment on Lacey's ability to get girls.

"and _adorable_ is not in my vocabulary" Lacey also adds for good measure, eyeing Kyla as she says it. "Ash, you ready to help me with my business project?" she asks switching the subject all together.

"yeah, let's go upstairs to my-" I'm interrupted by a vibration from my pocket. I pull out my phone to see a text from Spencer.

_Will u b at home 2nite?_

Which is code for 'I want to bring my date home tonight'. Ugh, I do not want to spend my night watching them cuddle on the couch.

"on second thought, can we work on it at your place?" I ask.

"yeah that's cool with me" she shrugs.

"okay great," I reply. "listen Ky, I've got to help Lacey with this but I'm going to call you in a few days, Spencer's birthday is coming up and I need your help, Fitz can you let the staff know which day we're holding the party?"

"sure thing" he nods.

"same old surprise party?" Kyla asks.

"of course it's tradition!" I smile and grab my phone and jacket hopping off the seat. "let's go" I tell lacey and say my goodbyes to Fitz and Ky.

_It's all urs, I'll be out late_

I text back to Spencer. I would have done the same thing even if Spencer and I weren't together on the side. I have to be okay with it. That was the number one rule we made. That above all, we are still best friends.

_What r u doing 2nite?_

And now she's surprisingly curious as to where I'm going tonight. If she gets to spend time with the doctor I can do whatever I want with whomever I please. I refuse to let Spencer reap the benefits of a double standard.

Lacey and I head out the front door and the cooler night air finally fills my lungs and it definitely feels refreshing to be out of that bar.

"so where's my cousin tonight?" Lacey asks, attempting to make conversation on our walk to her place.

"date with the doctor" I tell her simply, slipping my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "she's bringing her back to the apartment later, which is why I suggested we go to your place. So you're actually doing me a favour. Spending time with the couple isn't exactly on my list of priorities"

"in that case, you're welcome. And don't think I don't see right through your plan to seduce me once we get back to my apartment" she jokes making me laugh. Lacey's pretty laid back and funny, she reminds me a lot of Spencer in that way, but more sexual jokes. Not that I don't mind the sexual jokes, especially if they would come from Spence.

"you're thinking about her, aren't you?" Lacey asks, cutting into my thoughts. I let out a noticeable sigh and stick my hands in my jacket pockets.

"just lost in thought" I shrug, not actually answering the question.

"did you and Spencer ever like…you know… before you guys became best friends?" Lacey asks, poking her nose where it doesn't belong, but she knows I'm going to answer it anyways. "I mean, you've been so close all these years. I'd find it hard to believe that you would've never hooked up once"

I don't even know how to answer that. I never once even thought about Spencer as something more than a friend up until just a couple weeks ago. But now I'm just unsure as to whether or not I had these feelings for her, just never realized it. Back then it's almost like she was already my girlfriend. We were always so close and joking around, we might as well have been dating. But nothing has every actually happened until now.

"Spencer and I have always been good friends" is all I can say.

"you are the queen of ambiguous answers" she says as she jumps in front of me walking backwards just to she can have a conversation face to face. I smile at her and just shrug honestly. Things are so much more complicated between me and Spencer than most people realize.

"have you ever been in love with your best friend?" I ask her and she's a little taken aback by the seriousness of my question.

"you mean back in Ohio?" she asks and I nod quickly. "there are no gay people in Ohio, don't kid yourself" she jokes.

"oh, how could I forget? They just ship them out to Los Angeles apparently" I joke back.

"I'm 18, I don't know the definition of 'in love'" she tells me.

"yeah, well I'm 23 and I'm still struggling to define it" I tell her honestly. I feel like these serious conversations are only something I share with Spencer after a few too many drinks. This feels weird doing it relatively sober.

"this is my place" she says and holds the door open for me to go in. She fumbles with which key to open the front door with, obviously new to the building. Eventually we walk up a single flight of stairs since it's only a two story complex and to her room which she opens with the swing of her hip and flicks on the light.

Boxes everywhere, nothing unpacked of course. Typical teenager.

"home sweet home" she smiles.

"it's…_nice_" I say, and there's that word again. I think it's safe to say the word 'nice' has been redefined as the word I use to insult people without trying to hurt their feelings.

"hey, to an 18 year old, my own apartment is paradise, despite what it looks like" and she has a point. "do you want a beer?" she asks, opening the fridge to reveal a rack full of bottles of beer.

She pulls out two, untwisting the caps and hands one to me anyways.

"nice to know you unpacked the most important box first" I say nodding to the empty box that once held all 24 beers in the trash just before taking a sip. I'm glad this girl has a fake ID…as long as it's not used at my bar.

"my priorities are as follows..." she says and closes the fridge door. "alcohol, sex, school….and then I guess breathing or whatever" she jokes with me. We take a seat on the futon folded upright into a couch in what I suspect is the general living room area and she leans back.

"so now that we've got the alcohol priority taken care of I think it's about time to move on to the sex part…" she smirks at me, still pressing hard for a hook up tonight.

"you're going to have to get me a lot more drunk for that" I tell her jokingly.

"I've got a whole case of beer, baby" she smirks.

…...

"is this your whole family?" Maggie asks as notices the picture frames lined up along the hallway wall. I look up from the DVD player in which I just popped in a movie and I notice she's looking at the family portrait. We just got back from dinner and luckily Ashley was already gone.

"um, yeah, it's me, ash, my parents and my brothers" it was the only family portrait we got in as a whole family. This was the first family portrait Ashley made it in to and it was the last one Clay was around for.

"your brothers?" Maggie asks , emphasizing the plural, sort of confused, and I guess I never really explained my other brother Clay to her. And it's probably a little weird for her to see a black guy squeezed in between me and Glen.

"yeah, that's Clay" I tell her. "my parents adopted him when he was 8. He died about 4 years ago in a shooting at school" I still remember it. My family was falling apart, except for Ashley that is. I walk over to where Maggie is and wrap my arms around her waist from behind, resting my chin on her shoulder.

I can be into PDA. But my PDA actually stands for _Private_ Displays of Affection.

"the better picture is on the other side though" I tell her reaching my hand to the frame and flipping it around to reveal the picture on the flip side of the dual frame. It's the goofy family picture Ashley and Glen convinced the rest of us to do while getting the family portrait done. My parents are making funny faces into the camera while I'm jumping on Clay's back, just about to fall off, and Glen has Ashley thrown over her shoulder just like he does after every basketball game.

"I like to joke with Ashley that she looks way better in this picture" I tell Maggie as she notices all you can actually see of Ashley is her ass on Glen's shoulder. She laughs quietly and smiles at how much fun we look like we're having.

"so you guys even include her in family portraits…?" she asks, not trying to be rude or offensive.

"yeah, well Ashley didn't have much of a family in high school so she spent a lot of time with mine. Most nights she was over at our house for the sit down family dinner, and I would drag her to family reunions a lot so she just kind of became another one of the family"

"oh you _have_ to explain this one to me" she says noticing the frame just a foot down the hallway. I start laughing just thinking about the memory behind that one.

_Flashback_

"_Spence, can you believe I bought a bar?" Ashley yells at me after downing another drink. "one more, one more!" Ashley shouts at the bartender through another fit of giggles. She orders us another round of drinks and goes back to sharing all of her ideas with me._

"_Spencer! Are you paying attention?" she asks, noticing I got distracted by our drinks. "none of these are going to work if you don't know them inside and out!"_

"_okay, okay, I'm listening. What does vodka cranberry mean again?" I ask and look at the napkin she has been writing all of these rules on._

"_it means you pretend to be a fan of my dad's band and pimp me out as daddy's famous little rich girl! Keep up!" she says and continues to scribble away more drinks and the secret codes behind them. By the end of the night she must have come up with at least six drinks in total. Which means six different ways for her to pick up girls at the bar._

"_this is going to be amazing!" she shouts excitedly, so proud of how much work and thought she has put into this napkin._

_We're pretty much the only ones left at the bar, besides the waitresses wiping down the beer stained tables and the bartender making our drinks just before he does last call._

"_thank you, barkeep!" Ashley shouts excitedly again as the bartender places our drinks on the table. "What's your name again, barkeep?" she asks, clearly overly intoxicated._

_He laughs at her, or both of us I guess and takes our other empty shot glasses away from us to be cleaned._

"_you can call me Fitz" he smiles. "boss" he throws in afterward._

"_BOSS!" Ashley and I both shout at the same time in excitement, no one has ever called Ashley boss. It sounds weird and amazing all at the same time. The three of us share a laugh and I can see the look in Ashley's eyes that she's never been so excited and happy in her life._

"_Fitz, do you know what this is?" Ashley asks as she holds up the bar napkin and shows Fitz._

"_no, what is it?" he humours us with his patience._

"_this… this is the secret to picking up girls" she whispers to him. "And it requires your assistance. See every drink I have written on here comes with rules, and my wingwoman spencer here has foolishly agreed to put on multiple charades in order to help the girl understand that she wants me"_

"_it's true" I tell him. It really is foolish, but call me crazy – it sounds like endless fun._

"_so what I do is I order a drink," Ashley tells Fitz. "you deliver it to Spencer, and then Spencer" she turns to me this time, "you act out your part and I'll use my charm to seal the deal with the lucky lady!" she says as if she can't find a single flaw in her plan._

"_this is possibly THE most important document I have ever created" she holds up the bar napkin as if it's her baby. _

"_and what about this document?" Fitz asks as he reaches down the bar a little to hold up the document that Ashley just signed a few hours before. _

"_oh right" she giggles to herself. "gotta send that into the lawyers. Spence can you believe I bought a bar!" she yells at me and we all start laughing again._

"_this is going to be awesome" she tells me as she spins around in her stool to face the large empty bar that is now legally under her name. "we'll live above the bar and come here every night and drink all night, as much as we want, for free. This is the best idea I've ever had. Right Fitzy?" she says over her shoulder._

"_that's right" she smirks._

"…" _Ashley gives him a look as if he's missing something._

"…_boss" he adds. And Ashley and I both look at each other._

"_BOSS!" we both shout excitedly again._

_End of Flashback_

"so this is…" Maggie starts.

"…the original rules of the drink systems" I finish her sentence. That night was crazy, but we decided to frame the napkin from the bar to remind us why Ashley bought the bar in the first place. To have fun, and a place to call home.

"that was the night we got really drunk, Ashley bought a bar, we met Fitz, came up with the drink system and moved into our apartment. It was easily one of the greatest nights of my life"

Maggie manages to shift and turn around in my arms so that she's facing me and I can tell she has a serious thought running through her head.

"I like you, Spencer" she says. Okay, not as serious as I thought it would be.

"I like you too" I reply with a smile.

"then before you and I get any more serious about our relationship or dating or whatever this is, I have to ask… you and Ashley…I know she's your best friend and just completely embedded into your life…but before I start falling for you even more than I already have, do I even _get_ to ask about what you and Ashley are? Because I've seen the way she looks at you and I've seen the way you two are around each other… I mean, _are you and she_…?" she leads on asking if I'm with Ashley and I see the fear in her eyes. She's scared of what Ashley and I have.

Should she be?

I had this talk with Ashley just a few days ago. And I made my decision back then and it still hasn't changed. But all of a sudden I feel an inward panic wash over me. Maggie still sees Ashley as my best friend with possible potential for more. I see Ashley as my best friend and already taking advantage of her potential to be more.

Because she is more.

But how much more?

It's like my panic takes control of my body and I feel like we've been sitting in silence for hours, Maggie patiently awaiting my response. And before I know it, my body is already replying to her question, but without my brain's permission.

"No" I tell her.

What did I just do?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**A/N: okay I know it's kind of short but some people have been really pushing for a new update and who am I to deny them that?**

Spencer

"Spence, sweetie, wake up" I feel someone shake me awake. And I know it's not Ashley, she would never dare call me 'sweetie'. But then I realize that none of that matters because I crack my eyes open and the first thing I see is the sun blinding me as it comes through the living room windows.

"what time is it?" I panic as I shoot up from my spot on the couch. I must have fallen asleep last night on top of Maggie during the movie.

"almost 8" she answers.

"shitshitshit, I'm going to be late for work!" I immediately get up from my spot on top of her and run to my bedroom to get my stuff ready and get changed.

"yeah I need to get going, I've got a shift in a few hours" Maggie tells me still from the living room.

"okay, just give me a couple minutes, I'll walk you down" I call to her from my bedroom. I'm literally just rifling through my clothes looking for something semi-appropriate for work. I throw on a blouse and some slacks, not even sure if their clean and running out of my room to the bathroom to brush my teeth. Just as I'm finishing up I hear the front door open and close quietly. I poke my head out of the bathroom knowing Maggie wouldn't just leave like that.

"morning" I hear Maggie happily say to Ashley who just walked through the front door. She jumps back in shock not thinking anybody would be here. Usually I'm out the door by 7:40 and Ashley has the place to herself.

"hi…" Ashley says, eyeing her carefully.

"hey Ash" I say finally coming out of the bathroom just about ready to go. "Are you just getting in?" I ask, freezing in my spot. Work can wait a few minutes.

"um…yeah" she says taking off her sunglasses which I realize aren't even hers. She puts them down on the side table and adjusts to the bright room. "did you guys just wake up?" she asks, finally noticing that Maggie stayed the night. And I already know what's running through her head. I did _not_ want Ashley and Maggie to actually encounter each other. I made it my personal goal to keep them completely separate. And for good reasons.

This is probably the worst situation I could have asked for. But instead of confronting it and giving her answers it clicks to me she just got in as well.

"where were you last night?" I ask, completely ignoring her question.

"Out." She answers, and I can tell by her short tone she doesn't really want to answer. Especially with Maggie here.

"out _where_?" whoa, where did my attitude come from? Its like it just slipped out of my mouth. I can tell with every question I ask Ashley is getting more and more pissed off at me, and Maggie is feeling more and more awkward.

"I was at Lacey's" she actually gives me an answer this time. I can feel my blood practically boil at her answer. She stayed with my cousin last night? _My. Cousin._ You don't think she and Lacey...? I don't even want to think about it.

"you're hung over" I comment noticing the bags underneath her eyes and the sick look on her face. Hung over equals majorly drunk last night. And majorly drunk, as we all know, equals bad choices.

"and _you're_ late for work" she bites back, stating the obvious. I hate dealing with hung over, grumpy Ashley. Fuck. Maggie being here doesn't really make it any better.

"come on, Maggie. Let's go" I tell her, grabbing her by the hand and leading her out the front door, past Ashley and her bad mood.

We head down the stairs and through the empty, closed bar but I head through the back exit knowing the front door would be locked.

"sorry about Ashley, she's not a morning person" I tell Maggie, still holding her hand.

"that's okay" Maggie smiles taking a step closer to me with a smile.

"I think she's thinks we like slept together last night" I inform her. I mean, wouldn't you think that's what it looked like? The morning after, wearing all the same clothes, slept in, etc.

"I don't blame her" Maggie laughs. "whatever, let her think whatever she wants" she smirks as she leans in to kiss me. Her lips press to mine and for some reason I'm a little surprised, I freeze with her lips against mine, but a couple seconds later and I'm kissing her back.

"yeah, I just don't want her to get angry…" I say as I pull back. And she gives me a little bit of a confused face. Sort of asking me why Ashley would be angry that her roommate slept with another person. "I mean, it's just, it's her apartment too and I don't want her to think we did it on like every surface or anything" I save my ass and Maggie laughs quietly to herself.

"Well tell you what, next time we can go back to my place and we can do it on every surface of _my_ apartment" and my mouth instantly goes dry. It's the first time sex has even been remotely mentioned. And that inward panic washes over me again. Is that allowed? With everything going on between me and Ashley should I go there with Maggie?

This time I've managed to get enough control of my body to at least stop myself from saying anything. Instead I just give her a quick kiss and a smile.

"I'm late for work, I'll call you later" and with that I take off in the opposite direction.

….

Ashley

I hear the door open and close quickly while her feet pad across the kitchen and straight to the fridge after she drops her back on the counter. The refrigerator door opens and just by the sounds she's making I can tell she opened up a bottle of beer and started drinking it. I turn around from my spot on the couch and glance to her, she notices me and gives a look back, still chugging that beer of hers.

"hi" she finally says after taking a breath from her drink.

"hi" I reply. She shuts the fridge door and opts to take a seat beside me on the couch. She doesn't say anything, just casually sits beside me and watches whatever I'm watching. "what's wrong?" I ask. I've taken the day to cool off from almost flipping on Spencer this morning. But I can tell something's wrong with her.

"nothing's wrong" she says light heartedly with a shrug, not taking her eyes off the television once. I _know_ something's wrong. If Spencer comes home and the first thing she does is get a beer from the fridge I know she's had a rough day. She takes another swig from her beer, but then quickly opts to start chugging it again. I watch her out of the corner of my eye and she doesn't even peel her eyes from the TV. I pick up the remote and mute it and she finally looks at me.

"what's wrong?" I repeat, but more in a knowing tone.

"nothing" she says again. "just a long day" and of course I don't actually believe her. "how come you're not downstairs?" she asks, wondering why I'm not watching over the bar.

"I'm going down soon" I inform her, but I still don't unmute the TV. "listen, about this morning…"

"did you sleep with my cousin?" she comes right out and asks me, and I know she's probably been waiting all day to ask me that.

"did you sleep with Maggie?" I retaliate quickly.

"that's not the same thing" she's quick to point out. "I'm dating Maggie, I'm allowed to sleep with her if I want. Lacey is my _little cousin_"

"what are _we_ then, Spencer?" I ask her, I can feel my rage starting to boil again. "are we friends? Are we dating? Are we friends with benefits…minus the actual _good_ benefits? Tell me Spencer because you seem to think you hold all the cards and I don't get to make a choice in the matter. You go out on dates with the doctor, you sleep with her, you show her off to our friends, you bring her home, and yet all we do is make out when you've got nothing better to do"

And I know we don't actually just make out when she's _bored_, but I mean, we might as well. I watch her as she's at a loss for words. She doesn't know how to respond because she doesn't know the answer herself.

"she gets to be with you like a normal girlfriend and I get the third degree when I stay the night at another girl's house? Tell me how that's fair."

"it's not just any girl though, Ashley. She's my cousin! Of all the people, _my cousin_? Is sex all you care about?" she asks.

"don't even try that, had it been any other girl you'd still have all this animosity directed toward me. You just want the best of both worlds and you don't even fucking care about how everyone else feels"

"did you even think about how I would feel when you slept with my cousin, Ashley?"

"well you sure as hell made it clear that you didn't want to have sex with me! You don't even want people to know about us. How is it fair that you get all the benefits of a real relationship with the doctor and I get _nothing_? I can't go out with you, you get angry when I'm with someone else. What do you want from me Spencer? I'm not your fucking pet!" I yell.

"I never said you couldn't see other people or be with other people, but my cousin? Is that your cruel way of getting back at me? Everything's just a fucking game to you, isn't it? You pick up girls for sport and you sleep with them for revenge?"

I stay quiet for a moment, trying to contain my rage. It's not easy when all we do is hit each other with low blows. Inhale. Exhale.

"Did you have sex with Maggie last night?" I ask calmly, yet my voice is still filled with fury.

She takes a minute to process the question, a little surprised that I would be so forward and clear about it. What do you expect me to ask? I saw Maggie this morning clearly wearing the same worn clothes she had on last night. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together, but I want to hear her say it. I want to hear her admit it.

"…yes." she answers, looking straight back into my eyes. "Did you have sex with Lacey?"

She's spent the last 10 minutes yelling at me, not even entirely sure that I'm guilty of what she accused me of. And it all comes down to these questions. These short, to the point, concise questions are all that matter to us. Because the answers define where we stand, they define where we go from here and they dictate how we feel about each other. They are choices we have to live with, good or bad.

"No" I answer back looking into her blue eyes which have been filled with hate and anger and sadness since we started this conversation. But her eyes are quickly clouded with tears that she seems to choke back. She looks away and finishes drinking the rest of her beer until there isn't a drop left. I look away to pretend that I never saw her emotions come to life.

She's hurting.

And so am I.

But I don't know if she's hurt because she feels guilty for accusing me of something I didn't do, or because she slept with Maggie when I stayed faithful. Faithful to an arrangement…because that's what we are. I've realized we're not in a relationship; we're in an arrangement. It's the best way I can describe it. We have rules and conditions. We have emotions too, but we tend to ignore them.

"I've got to go to the bar" I mutter and get up from the couch making a beeline for the door. She doesn't say anything; she just sits on the couch looking in the other direction, trying to compose herself. She doesn't say that she'll come with me or that she'll join me later, she doesn't say she's tired and wants to stay upstairs, she doesn't say anything. But I know she doesn't want to be around me right now.

I walk downstairs to the bar quickly and notice it's starting to get a little busy, but I had no intention of going to the bar right now.

"Ashley!" Fitz spots me in the crowd. "can you help work the bar tonight? We're short staffed" he says.

"can you hold it down for like half an hour?" I ask with a pleading look on my face. He skeptically looks at the developing crowd of people looking to drink away their problems tonight and nods.

"half an hour" he makes me commit to the timeline. I give him a quick nod and walk out the front doors of the bar. I start walking down the sidewalk weaving in and out of some of the other people. What am I doing? What have I done?

As these questions and my thoughts start swimming in my brain my feet start to pick up the pace. It starts off as a fast walk, turning into a slow jog and now I'm practically sprinting. Before I know it I arrive at the apartment and run up the steps to buzz the apartment.

"hello?" I hear Lacey's voice through the speaker box.

"it's Ashley, let me up" I say in sort of an urgent tone. She doesn't bother asking what's wrong knowing she'll see me in about 30 seconds. Without replying I hear the buzz of the door unlocking and I walk up the stairs, taking them two at a time. I knock at her door at a quickened pace as well and just a few seconds her door swings open.

"what's wrong?" she asks in sort of a worried tone.

"last night." I answer, taking a second to catch my breath. "last night is what's wrong"

"so…" she drags out. "you're _not_ down for round two then?" she jokes, trying to lighten the mood, but it makes me panic more than anything. I see her hanging off the door, a loose tank top hanging from her torso, loose enough to reveal her lace bra, but not long enough to cover her boxer shorts. This girl is too much sometimes.

"Last night can't have happened" I tell her, and now it's my turn for tears to start burning my eyes.

"what do you mean?"

"I mean, what happened between us last night, I just need it to be forgotten about"

"Ashley... you can't take back sex" she tells me in all seriousness. God, I shouldn't have come over last night, I shouldn't have drank so much and I shouldn't have slept with her.

"I have to" my voice cracks out, my emotions are starting to get the best of me. "I'm sorry, it was a mistake. And I know that's not what you want to hear, but Spencer can never know about it"

And with that I turn right back around, out the door and back down the stairs. I left her standing there in her apartment, with no explanation. I just left her there.

I feel like the air has been sucked out of the world even though I'm standing outside on the sidewalk.

I feel like I'm about to start sobbing even though I'm more angry than sad.

I feel like all they do is love me even though I have given them every reason to hate me.

**A/N: Anybody want to try and predict the future of spashley...or even Ashcey? (On second thought, does anyone want to create a new ship name for Ashley and Lacey?)**


	15. Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

***I know it's been forever. Hate me all you want, but this chapter is for all the people who have been desperately asking for another chapter despite my absence!**

**RECAP**: Spencer and Ashley, best friends, living in LA above a bar that Ashley owns. Ashley and Spencer discover that maybe deep down somewhere they have romantic feelings for each other but before either can act on them Ashley panics and sleeps with another girl. Spencer ends up meeting Maggie, the doctor, and Ashley regrets her decisions. Enter Lacey Carlin, Spencer's little cousin who just moved to LA. Lacey and Ashley quickly become friends while Spencer and Ashley secretly start acting on their feelings behind closed doors. A whole lot of anger here and there, Ashley sleeps with Lacey and lies to Spencer saying she didn't. Spencer doesn't sleep with the doctor but lies and tells Ashley she did.

I ran back to the bar as quickly as I could after I left Lacey's apartment. One, because I knew Fitz was probably drowning in drink orders and two, because…I couldn't get away from Lacey fast enough. I felt terrible for what I had told her. It's so much worse to dump a girl the next day when you know you have to see her again.

As soon as I walk into the bar I shrug off my jacket and hang it up behind the bar and immediately start making drinks for customers. And now it seems like all of these people live without a care in the world and I become jealous of them. Being able to just go out with a friend or someone and just have a good night. I haven't had a good night in a long time. Fitz notices I'm back but doesn't dare ask me what's going on. Sometimes a girl just needs to bury herself in some sort of emotionless task.

It's 2am and Fitz is calling last call to all of the stragglers in the bar and within the hour we have the last customer out the door and the servers are turning the chairs upside down on the tables. I'm placing the last of the glasses in the dishwasher and getting ready to pull the mop out.

"I can close up, Ash" Fitz tells me as we both reach for the mop at the same time.

"no, you go home, I can close tonight" I tell him and gently take the mop from his hands and working my way over to the table area.

"you okay?" he asks, though he knows I'm not. He's too sweet to drag down with me.

"just taking care of my bar, Fitz. I can handle it for a night" I tell him. He nods and packs up his stuff with all of the servers and soon enough I'm left alone in an empty bar at 3:30 in the morning. I take a seat on one of the empty tables and glance around at the semi-clean room. Is this what my life has been reduced to? Being alone?

If I were in a relationship with Spencer would she be helping me right now? Would we be awake together at 3:30am?

If I were with Lacey would she be here?

If there was no Maggie would Spencer and I be actually together?

But there is a Maggie and Spencer isn't with me. And as long as there is a Maggie in her life Spencer will never be completely mine. It kills me to admit it but if Spencer wanted to be with me over Maggie she would have done so already. Maybe Spencer deserves to be with one person. One person who knows what she wants in life and can give Spencer everything. Maybe that girl isn't me.

I pull out my cell phone to send off a quick text.

_Won't be home tonight. We'll talk about everything tomorrow._

I don't expect Spencer to be awake let alone respond to my text. So I quickly finish up mopping and cleaning off every table. This stuff is exhausting; I need to remind myself to give Fitz a raise soon. I pack all the cleaning supplies up and just like a few hours ago I'm throwing on my jacket and heading in the familiar direction just down the street.

My mind is pretty much already made up, and I know I should be thinking of other people's feelings a bit more but I think this will be best for everyone. Before I know it, I'm at the apartment and I buzz for her apartment. There's no answer and I suppose it would make sense for her to be asleep at four in the morning, but I didn't walk through Los Angeles at this hour to just turn around and go home. So I buzz again. And again and again and again. Until the point at which I'm just holding the buzzer down. People like dealing with annoying people at 4am right?

"_what?"_ Lacey yells through the speaker box in anger.

"it's me….. Again." I reply.

There's a pause of silence and for a second I think Lacey has gone back to sleep.

"if you've come back to reiterate your point from before you can save your breath" she says and it makes me feel even worse.

"I'm not. Can I come up please? I really want to talk to you about everything"

I'm met with another long pause of silence and it seems like the only sound I can hear is my heart beating so fast. Just as I'm about to ask if she's still there I hear the buzzing sound and the door clicks unlocked.

Her front door is open by the time I get there and I walk in, shutting it behind me. She's got red and grey flannel pajama pants on, a dark grey tank top and a baggy cardigan and even in her sloppiest gear she still manages to work it. How is it that this girl is single?

"okay, what is so important that you had to come over to my place at four in the morning?"

"sorry, did I interrupt your beauty sleep?" I try to lighten the mood. She gives me a hard stare back, clearly not wanting to play any games. "look, when I said it was a mistake sleeping with you I didn't mean it. I shouldn't have let things…escalate that far between us so quickly."

"because of Spencer" she reasons.

"Partly because of Spencer, but mostly because of you" I confess. "Lace, you're Spencer's cousin, and you're eighteen, and we've only known each other for a short period of time. I'm so used to sleeping with girls and having no repercussions and I just got carried away with you"

"so then stick around for me, see where we go" she pleads as she approaches me, letting her hands rest on the crook of my neck and my cheek.

"this whole thing with Spencer has gotten really messy and I've screwed up a lot. I don't know if I can commit to you or to anyone for that matter. I'm not going to make promises I cant keep"

"Spencer's my cousin and I love her, but she had her chance with you." I take her hands away from my body and put them back down at her sides. She uses her touches to persuade and it works most of the time.

"I just don't know how I feel anymore… about Spencer and you and whoever. It's tough to get my head wrapped around everything. All I know is that I think I'm going to end my thing with Spencer and go back to being friends with her, if that's even possible at this point."

"so does that mean you're officially single again?" she asks with a cheeky smile and I cant help but break my serious face and let a smile of my own slip out. She never gives up, does she?

"no" I tell her clearly. "At least not until I hash things out with Spencer tomorrow."

"where does that leave me then?"

"as my friend?" I offer and I see her shoulders visibly slump before me. "but maybe… if Spencer and I can figure out where our friendship stands then I don't know…maybe we can work something out?"

And just like that the slump in her shoulders turns into the smallest of a smile.

"really?" she asks nervously. A side of her I've never really seen. "I hope you're not messing with me Ashley, because you were kind of saying the exact opposite thing just a few hours ago" she quickly gains her confidence back.

"I said _maybe_" I re-emphasize. "but you have to know that my friendship with Spencer comes first. She's my family and I can't afford to lose her"

"I get it" she nods. "but right now it's four in the morning and if we're not going to have sex will you at least come sleep beside me?" she asks and takes my hand slowly leading me to the bedroom.

"Actually, going to sleep now would just sort of ruin me. But I was thinking, last night we got a little distracted from your assignment. Maybe we could actually work on it…?"

She pauses and her shoulders slump once again, this time disappointed in what she knows will be a night/morning of lack of sleep.

"I'll get my books" she sighs out.

"good" I smile. "and no beer this time!"

…

It's 8am before I roll back home to the loft and part of me wants to avoid Spencer and having this talk with her, and the other part of me knows she is probably awake right now waiting for me.

I unlock and open the front door as quietly as possible hoping that if she is in the living room she's asleep and I wont disturb her. But of course as I click the door shut and turn around I see her sitting at the small kitchen table. Fully awake, and looking like a zombie.

It kind of makes you wonder, what would you rather have? A girl who can roll out of bed looking beautiful, or a girl who looks like she hasn't slept in weeks, but waits up all night for you just to make sure you come home.

"you could have at least told me where you were going to be" she says calmly.

"you didn't ask"

"I shouldn't have to" she rebuts.

"I needed some time to re-evaluate my choices" I tell her as I sit down in the seat directly across from her. "I lied to you"

"about what?"

"sleeping with Lacey…" I whisper, hating myself more and more with every word I speak. Her eyes freeze on me, unwilling to move anywhere else. She's panicking and freezing all at the same time. "I'm so sorry Spencer. I don't know why I said I didn't, I don't even know why I slept with her to begin with. It was just a series of mistakes and regrets and I wish I could take them back, I'm just so sorry" I ramble out.

She still hasn't said anything, but she's broken eye contact. Her gaze now fixed to the table between us.

"when you told me that you and Maggie slept together something in me just broke and-"

"-I didn't sleep with Maggie" she cuts me off.

"what?"

"I didn't sleep with her. I thought you had slept with Lacey so I just said it so you knew how it felt"

"so you lied to me?" I ask with a little more anger than I'm probably allowed at the moment.

"I lied based on an assumption which turned out to be _true_! Your lie is so much worse!" she yells.

"a lie is still a lie Spencer, don't pretend like you're above everyone else because your lie wasn't as damaging as mine. It's not all black and white, it's just one big grey area"

"no, it doesn't work like that Ashley! I lied about something I didn't do, you lied about something you _did_ do. You knew that it was my cousin and you _still fucked her"_

"And while you dated Maggie you still hooked up with _me_ behind her back! At least I'm upfront about my actions, I come clean. I bet you anything right now that Maggie has no idea what's going on with us. I bet you she is still living in her perfect little world of being a rich, educated doctor and having her perfect blonde hair, blue eyed girlfriend. And she lives like that every day, under the false sense of perfection, not having any clue that her girlfriend was cheating on her this entire time!"

"I am _not_ her girlfriend, and I did _not_ cheat on her!" she yells back at me finally standing up from her spot, pushing the chair out from behind her.

"why aren't you then? Why aren't you her girlfriend? Why not claim the perfect woman as your own? What's stopping you?"

This of course would be the moment that I would love if Spencer just finally said 'You. You are what's stopping me!' but of course life doesn't work like that. So instead of making my dreams come true, Spencer opts for something else.

"I don't know anymore" she shakes her head ashamedly.

"we need to stop hooking up" I tell her, even though it seems like we're both already aware of it.

"is it really just that easy?"

"yes…no… I don't know" I mumble out. "Do either of us really have a choice? Clearly we become the worst versions of ourselves trying to compete for the other's affections. Spence, I _lied_ to you. And you lied to me. I've never lied to you about _anything_. And the moment I become jealous I just…change into this person that I hate. I don't want to be that person around you. I don't want to be that person period."

"you think I like it anymore than you do? I miss my best friend and how our relationship used to be. But after everything that's happened I'm not sure we can just go back to that. I mean how do you just turn off jealousy? How can you just turn off feelings you have for someone? If I knew how to do these things I would have done them weeks ago and saved us all this chaos and pain. So how exactly are we supposed to just go back to who we used to be?"

"we don't." I tell her simply. "We acknowledge it, we work on it, and slowly we rebuild our relationship. It might not be the same, but it's better than nothing don't you think?"

"a painful and awkward friendship is better that no friendship at all?" she asks me.

"If I had to choose between being hurt everyday being around you, and _not_ being around you at all, I would choose the pain every time, Spencer. Because we're family. And at the end of the day, your family is still your family."

I can see her trying to choke back the tears. God, her crying always gets me crying and then its just one big mess at the end of the day. And it's barely 9am.

"don't do that" I warn her.

"just tell me we're going to be okay, because I can't do this without you"

"do what?" I ask incredulously.

"I can't get over you without you" she tells me. It may sound confusing but it makes all the sense in the world to me. How do you get over a heartbreak without your best friend to comfort you? But I guess it's a little more complicated than that.

"come here" I finally say as I get out of my seat and pull her up to stand, immediately pressing her body into mine. My arms circle around her stomach as her arms hesitantly find their way wrapped around my shoulders. She buries her face into my neck and I feel the tears silently fall from her eyes to my skin. "I promise you we'll work things out"

"how can you promise something like that?" she quietly asks through light sobs.

"because you are the most important thing in my life and there's no way I'm going to let you hurt this much" I pause for a second for it to sink in with her. "there are just some things we have to sort out first"

"like rules?" she asks as she pulls back from the crook of my neck.

"yeah, I guess" I say as I sit her back down in her seat. I walk over to the cabinet pulling out a clean glass and the bottle of advil.

"first, I think we should revoke the rule that we can't sleep in the same bed" I tell her as I fill the glass with water and place it in front of her. She takes a sip while I open the bottle of advil.

"isn't that a little counter productive?" she asks after polishing off the glass of water. I know crying gives her headaches. She hands the glass back and I fill it again, but this time I put two advil in her hands as well.

"I think being in separate beds constantly is just too tempting for us. I think maybe the closeness will give us a comforting feeling. And… I promise not to let it get out of control."

"alright" she says after finally swallowing the pills and downing the rest of her water. "what else?"

"well the usual…no kissing, nothing intimate but I think that whatever we had before…when we were just friends, should be fair game. If we want to get back to being those friends maybe we should just start acting like that…?" I suggest. She thinks it over for a second and I can tell she's considering the logic in it.

"what about Maggie? And Lacey?"

"well" I sigh as I take my own seat across from her again. "I think that Maggie is your call. Aside from everything in the past she seems like a nice person-"

I'm caught by Spencer's knowing glare at my mention of the word 'nice'.

"-I mean, she's good for you. So if you want to be with her, then I think you should. She's the kind of person you deserve, Spence" I tell her but I can't even bring myself to look her in the eyes as I tell her.

"she _is_ really great, Ash" she tries to convince me, but she doesn't need to. I already know the doctor is a good person. She's a doctor for god sakes.

"I know. But if you do choose to commit to her I just ask that you try not to flaunt it when I'm around. I guess just at the bar. It's only fair that you can bring your girlfriend home to the apartment and everything, but the bar is my only place that doesn't revolve around us, you know?"

"sure, if you see us at the bar we'll keep it to a minimum" she tells me and I nod in response.

"but Spence, you should know that…since you're seriously considering being with Maggie for real, it's only fair that…I can be with whoever I want too" I tell her cautiously.

"of course-"

"-like Lacey" I cut her off before she really commits to what she's saying. She stops and I know she hates it. I know she doesn't want me to be with Lacey anymore than I want her to be with Maggie.

"why?" is all she can ask.

"Look, I know Lacey is young and your cousin, but…Lacey and I actually have a lot of fun when we hang out. She's a good friend and she's funny and I just feel really comfortable around her. I don't get that with a lot of girls. I actually like her and it's kind of new to me"

She looks away, trying to compose herself and think it over.

"I don't like it" she tells me.

"I know"

"she's still my little cousin" she says protectively.

"I know" I repeat.

"but I guess, that if you're serious about her, then…maybe it's alright" she finally gives in.

"thank you"

"well it's only fair that if I get to date Maggie you should get to date someone you like as well. But don't mess around, Ashley. I see how she looks at you, she really likes you too. You can't go around sleeping with other girls while you're seeing her or just cutting her out if you get bored."

"I won't"

"and if Maggie and I are expected to keep things light at the bar…so are you and Lacey"

"it's my bar!" I reason with her.

"she's my cousin!" Spencer reasons back.

"…fine." I concede anyways. "the bar is a friends only zone then. Not like Lacey and I will have a problem with that, we're just friends now anyways. We're easing into things."

"oh, she must have missed that memo when you guys slept together a few days ago then…" Spencer mutters. And at first I thought I should be angry at the comment, but it actually kind of makes me laugh.

"must have been intercepted by the doctor" I tease back and her face actually cracks a smile in what seems like forever.

"are you still going to call her the doctor?" Spencer asks.

"it's a compliment, really" I shrug jokingly.

"mhm" she smirks back.

"see, we're already getting back to who we used to be" I point out in the lighthearted conversation we seem to be having.

"yeah, when we're alone." She scoffs. "Who knows what will happen when Maggie or Lacey is around…or even Kyla or any of our friends"

"we'll deal with it when we get there" I tell her. Realistically, it's the only way we can deal with it.

"alright" she nods. I glance at the clock and see it's already 9 o'clock. I'm exhausted but if I sleep now I'll be nocturnal for weeks.

"listen, I think I'm going to go meet up with Kyla for breakfast or something. Are you going to be okay? Wait, shouldn't you be at work?"

"I called in sick" she says and adds a fake cough to prove it. We both smile at the complete lie. Maybe it's better to just pretend like this wasn't a huge ordeal tonight. "so I'm actually going to take a nap… and then I think I'll go visit my mom at the hospital, have a chat with Maggie if she's there"

"sure" I nod, knowing very well that she's going to go ask Maggie to be her girlfriend. She's going to confirm it. After that there's really no going back.

"I'll see you tonight then? At the bar? I'll probably invite Lacey or something"

"I'll see you tonight then…"


	16. Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

"Paging Doctor Carlin to the front desk, Dr. Carlin to the front desk"

"thanks Michelle" I tell the girl working the PA. She's been working with my mom for years now in the Intensive Care Unit so I've come to talk to her a few times.

"no problem, Spencer. She should be here any minute" she says with a smile but goes back to her important doctor files.

"Spence?" I hear my mom's voice from behind me. I turn around to see her with a nervous smile. "what are you doing here? Are you alright? You look terrible" she says while holding my face in her hands, examining my sleep deprived eyes to see if there's anything seriously wrong with me.

"Good to see you too, mom" I say sarcastically as I take her hands off of my face.

"sorry, honey. It's good to see you too. What's going on?"

"just came for a visit. And I look like crap because I couldn't sleep last night so I called in sick to work. Just thought I'd stop by and say hi"

"are you sure that's all that's wrong?" she asks, being the mother she is.

"yeah, it's nothing really. Ashley and I were just having a few problems but I think we sorted them out"

"You and Ashley? Is everything okay? You two never have problems"

I know she's pushing for me to tell her, but is there really a point in creating a fuss over the almost relationship that Ashley and I never actually got around to doing.

"…does this have anything to do with Maggie?" she asks. And of course my mom would have some sort of inkling as to what it's all about.

"a little" and just with those two words she already knows what's going on. "But we sorted things out and…and I'm actually here to visit Maggie as well. Just wanted to see my mom first" I smile pathetically. She gives me a small smile back before pulling me in for a tight hug.

"you know I'm going to love you know matter who you love" she tells me quietly.

"I know" I nod. "but listen, I just wanted to say hi, I think I'm going to go see Maggie in the diagnostics department, see if I can convince her to grab lunch or something"

"sure" my mom nods with a more genuine smile this time. "Are you ever going to invite her for Sunday lunch?" she asks. Of course she would ask that.

"tell you what, I'll go find her now and invite her for this Sunday, 'kay?"

"great, I'll set an extra place." She says and gives me a kiss on my forehead.

"bye mom"

"bye Spence" she says and heads back to work as I head across the familiar building to another department.

I'm walking around diagnostics and there are nurses and doctors everywhere running back and forth to different machines for patients but I haven't seen Maggie.

"excuse me" I stop a nurse in a blue uniform. "can you point me toward Dr. McKnight?"

"are you a patient?"

"a friend" I respond. The nurse just nods at me.

"I think she's with a patient doing an MRI but it'll be 20 minutes before the test is done so you can just go in and see her" he says and points me to the door that says MRI scans on it.

"thanks" I nod and head to the large heavy door and pushing it open. Inside are a few change rooms to the left, and small lockers on the right. I watch as Maggie is sitting in front of a computer while waiting for the machine to finish the scan.

"excuse me, Dr. McKnight, I hope I'm not interrupting" I say as I grab her attention. Her face genuinely lights up at my arrival and stands up to come greet me.

"Spencer? What are you doing here? Are you alright? You look terrible"

I'm getting a déjà vu feeling….

"I'm fine, just tired. But I wanted to come see you" I tell her. She gives me a kiss on the cheek and a small hug as she leads me to the other seats. "is it alright that I'm here?"

"yeah, of course, but shouldn't you be at work?"

"called in sick, couldn't sleep last night" I shrug.

"do you want to talk about it?"

"not even a little bit" I reply quickly as I take her hand in mine and hold it tightly. "I just want to be here with you"

"well I'm certainly not complaining. This is a nice surprise." She says and gives me a quick kiss, this time on the lips.

"well, well, who's this?" a deep voice interrupts us. We turn around to see another nurse standing by the door. He walks over with a questioning look in his face and now I'm getting the feeling I shouldn't be here.

"sorry, I don't want to be in the way, I should let you work" I tell Maggie.

"no, no, don't worry, it's just Ryan, he's working the MRI with me today." She says and pulls me to sit back down in her seat. "Ryan this is Spencer, my…"

"girlfriend" I fill in before Maggie lets it trail off into awkwardness.

"_the_ Spencer?" he asks.

"I didn't realize I had a title" I say as I offer my hand for him to shake.

"Maggie's mentioned you once or twice" he says with a smirk that tells me that he's heard about me more than just once or twice.

"yeah well, now you see why" Maggie says to Ryan, gesturing to all of me and I can't help but blush at the comment.

"I do" he replies while pulling up another office chair on wheels to sit on. He leans back and puts his arms behind his head to get comfortable. "So Spencer, what brings you to the MRI room?"

"just wanted to surprise Maggie, and invite her to lunch on Sunday"

"family Sunday lunch?" Maggie asks surprisingly.

"ooh, meeting the fam" Ryan comments. "better run, Mags"

"shut up, Ryan. I've already met her mom. Actually, so have you" Maggie adds. "Dr. Paula Carlin"

"Dr. Carlin's daughter?" he asks and all of a sudden he sits up straight. "I can see the resemblance now that you mention it. Nice catch, Mags" he winks at me.

"back off, Ryan" she says protectively as she pulls me to sit in her lap instead of the chair. "she's my girlfriend" and now I've opened up a door I just can't shut. I've officially made my way into a relationship without even having to say it. Call a girl your girlfriend and it's a sealed deal.

A timer from the computer goes off and Ryan gets up to open the door to the room with the MRI and patient in it. "I'll get it, you guys stay here" he says.

As soon as the door is shut Maggie kisses me again.

"so Sunday lunch?"

"yeah, can you make it?"

"of course" she smiles.

"great, my parents live just outside of downtown L.A. so if you want Ashley, Lacey and I are going to take Ashley's car down. It'll be a bit of a tight squeeze in Ashley's Porsche but you can ride with us"

"well how about I just pick you up from your place and you and I ride together" she offers instead. I didn't even know she had a car. But I guess she doesn't really need it in downtown L.A. Neither does Ashley, but I think Maggie's wealthier than I actually anticipated. I shake my head of the thought realizing I'm starting to zone out.

"sure, I think Ashley wants to spend more time with Lacey anyways" I shrug, still sitting on her lap.

"yeah, what's going on with those two?" she asks carefully.

"I don't know" I shrug yet again. "I think they're trying it out"

"and you're okay with that?"

"Ashley can date whoever she wants"

"even your cousin?"

"it doesn't matter" I tell her with the shake of my head. "I've got my girlfriend and that's all that matters" I tell her and this time I initiate the kiss.

"mm, can't argue with that" she mumbles against my lips and kisses me again.

…..

"what's the emergency?!" Kyla yells as she bursts into the almost empty bar. Fitz and I are casually behind the bar cleaning up a little when she barges in. We both laugh at her intrusion and general dramatic-ness.

"I didn't say there was an emergency" I casually tell her with a chuckle.

"Ashley, you sent me a text in all caps that said 'COME TO THE BAR', that practically shouts emergency!"

"oh right, sorry, I accidentally turned on my caps lock and I didn't know how to turn it off"

"remind me to teach you how to use a phone" she says as she takes a seat on the bar stool in front of my station. "hey Fitz"

"hey Ky" he smiles and places a glass of cranberry juice on ice in front of her. She thanks him with a smile.

"so if there's no emergency why did you ask me to come down?"

"just wanted to chat, catch up with each other" I shrug, trying to keep this as casual as possible. I figure I should keep her and Fitz in the loop anyways.

She looks at Fitz then at me and rolls her eyes as she puts her drink down. "What did you do now?" she asks with a roll of her eyes, Fitz just gives a hardy laugh.

"I didn't do anything!" I squeal out. Well I guess I did, but whatever. "just wanted to let you know that Spencer and I have decided to go back to being…just friends"

"what?! Ash, you just told me like last week that you and she were hooking up or whatever it is you were doing" Kyla shouts at me.

"I know and things just weren't working out. We tried to keep things casual and nonexclusive but it just ended up blowing up in our faces"

"did you sleep with someone?" Kyla asks in that knowing tone.

"I was allowed to sleep with other people!" I reason with her.

"yeah, other people, not Spencer's cousin" Fitz throws his two cents in. And of course he would know that it was Lacey that I did it with.

"_Ashley!"_ Kyla chides me.

"what? Look, I like Lacey and things were just too complicated with Spencer. Plus Spencer has Maggie and now that they're together things ar-"

"-wait, together? Like _together _together?"

"girlfriend and all" I tell her plainly, trying not to show them how I really feel about it. I don't even know how I really feel about it. "anyways, she's with Maggie, so that's kind of that."

"what about you?"

"What about me?"

"look, I'm glad Spencer's happy with Maggie because she seems nice, but you're my sister. I didn't go running to Spencer's side when I thought something was wrong, I came to you."

"I'm fine, but after the whole… situation I've decided to slow things down a bit"

"slow things down?" Kyla asks.

"yeah, like…with hooking up with girls"

"wait, what?" she asks, not quite grasping the concept that I want to slow down.

"well when I say slow things down I really mean bring things to a screeching halt"

"wait…._what?"_ Kyla asks again.

"Kyla! I don't want to sleep around anymore" I finally clarify for her. She's about to ask me 'wait, what?' again but I glare at her before she can even start. "I had a long talk with Spencer and I told her that I was interested in Lacey and I wanted to see where things go"

"so out of all the girls in the world…out of all the Carlin siblings… you go for Lacey?"

"what's that supposed to mean?" I ask, offended on behalf of the girl I like.

"no, I mean, Lacey's fun and more your speed I guess… it's just I always thought you and Spencer would sort of be endgame"

"well, Spence and I just have really bad timing so it's not going to work out. I can't let that stop me from finding someone else with the right timing"

"so you're serious about Lacey then?"

"well I'm not like in a serious relationship with her, but I mean…I'm serious about liking her"

I tell them both and they just kind of sit and think about it for a second, trying to understand how I ended up with Lacey and not Spencer.

"you guys like Lacey right…?" I ask to break the silence. Both Fitz and Kyla stop what they're doing but don't reply. "…guys!"

"no, of course we like Lacey!" Kyla finally speaks up for both of them. "She's fun and pretty and seems really cool. She reminds me of a younger, less self-destructive, version of you"

"oh thanks" I say sarcastically.

"look, we like her, right Fitz?" Kyla asks and Fitz nods to agree. "and I figured you'd start going after the younger girls eventually, just I sort of thought you'd go after them like in your 30s. Actually by 30 I thought you'd be with Spencer, but Lacey is cool nonetheless."

"I like her. A lot. She's very easy to talk to and we get along really well and I feel like we're interested in the same things"

"like sex" Kyla concludes.

"well, yeah, I guess, but also she's studying business, I run my own business, we both like to go out and have a goodtime at the bar, she could probably drink me under the table for an 18 year old. And she's looking for something a little more serious than just randomly hooking up with me, which is what I want as well."

"so in other words, she's good timing"

"she's perfect timing" I tell them both.

Kyla glances to Fitz then back to me. "okay, well if you really like her and want to be with her…then I'm happy for you, Ash. Usually right about now I'd say I want to give her the sister speech and tell her not to hurt you and protect you and everything, but I already know you do that for yourself anyways."

"I have a good feeling about Lacey. For once I feel like I could see myself just being with one person"

"alright, then I guess all I can say is that I'm really happy for you, Ash" she smiles genuinely. Fitz even throws in his own little crooked smile.

For the first time in a long time I feel like other people are happy for me to be with someone else. I've spent so long feeling guilty about Spencer that I forgot what it was like to just be happy and look forward to being with someone, and relying on them for a long-term basis.

"thanks" I smile appreciatively back.

…..

"so this won't be awkward or anything right" Lacey asks as she slides into the booth beside me.

Probably.

"Not at all." I reply, taking a swig of my beer. "you want a drink?"

"I'll have a beer" she says and I look at her and she knows she can't have alcohol in my bar. "okay fine I'll have a coke"

"Kelly, can we get a coke please?" I call out to one of the passing waitresses. She gives a quick nod and skips off to get the coke, coming right back with the drink.

"thanks" Lacey says to Kelly then turns back to me. "so where's Spencer?"

"she'll be here later I'm sure, I just wanted to talk to you first"

"you know, we've been having a lot of serious talks lately" she comments.

"I know, trust me, I don't like them either, and hopefully this one will be our last for a while"

Doubtful.

"okay, so what's up?" she asks as she takes a sip from her drink.

"I officially broke it off with Spencer this morning, we're on…okay terms now but what I really wanted to say to you is that…if you're interested… maybe we can like…see where we go" I say awkwardly. I don't even remember the last time I told a girl I liked her. Usually I just skip that part and go straight to telling the girl I'd like to have sex with her.

She laughs at me but waits for me to continue.

"I'd like to start off slow, like friends, but maybe friends with the prospect of a future…?"

"what kind of friends?" she asks goodheartedly.

"exclusive friends?"

"exclusive friends?" she repeats. "So I can't be friends with anyone else?" she asks teasingly.

"no, I meant…not that." I feel like I'm losing brain cells as I speak. "I just thought-"

"-I'm just messing with you, Ashley. I know what you meant" she smiles.

"so…are you…cool with that?" I ask awkwardly.

"If it means that you and I have the opportunity to see where things go then yeah I'm cool with that. As long as you're okay with people still hitting on me. I can't help the way other people feel about me" she smirks.

"I think I'll be okay with that" as long as she doesn't flirt back. "Chances are you'll have to deal with the same thing"

"I think I can handle that. So just so we're on the same page, can you define slow?" Lacey asks, and obviously she's just asking about sex.

"friends" I reply because it's the only thing that comes to mind.

"the kind of friends that sleep together?" she asks hopefully.

"the kind of friends that start off as friends and see where things go" I tell her. "To be honest Lace, this is all new territory to me and I don't want to screw it up, but I can't promise you that I won't make mistakes along the way"

"I get it. _Friends_." She accepts it. "Let's just make a deal right now, I won't date anyone else, or flirt with anyone or give out my number to random girls….as long as you do the same thing"

Monogamy. A real monogamous relationship. I don't even remember the last time I seriously dated just one girl.

"Deal." I tell her with a smile.

"Good" she says with a smile as she sits back in her seat, seemingly satisfied with our deal. But then her smile quickly fades from her face and she turns back to me. "At the risk of ruining this very nice moment, does Spencer know about…this?" she asks gesturing between us. "because I really like you, but I don't want to create problems with my cousin and everything"

"I know, and I don't want that either. Which is why I already mentioned it to her earlier today. We sort of agreed that if she's going to be in a relationship with the doctor then she isn't really allowed to tell me who I can and can't date. That's not to say she's ecstatic about it, but you know…"

"so Spencer and Maggie, they're really in it then huh?"

"I guess we'll find out now…" I nod over to where Spencer and the doctor just walked into the bar. I flag them down with a wave of my arm and they join us in the booth.

"hey guys" Spencer smiles as she slides in first and pulls the doctor in beside her by their linked hands. She quickly lets go of the doctor's hand when she looks at me though. All part of our agreement not to flaunt anything.

"hey" both Lacey and I answer at the same time.

"how are you guys?" Spencer asks.

"we're good" I smile as I glance over to Lacey. "right?"

"yeah, I'd say we're pretty good" Lacey smiles back. "what about you guys?"

Spencer looks to Maggie who also smiles back at her. It's a fucking smilefest.

"we're also good" Maggie agrees.

And just like that we're left in an awkward silence.

"Maybe we should get drinks…" Spencer says to the table and looks around to hail a waitress.

"Kelly!" Both Spencer and I desperately call for our waitress. This is too awkward and messed up to be done sober.

"what can I get for you Spence?" Kelly asks happily.

"um can I get a-"

"-SHOTS!" Spencer is cut off by the familiar sound of Christina. Before we know it, in walks Christina, Rebecca, Shay, Mel. They pull up a few chairs all around us and within minutes we've got shots of tequila sitting in front of us.

"Maggie, you remember my friends right?" Spencer asks.

"how could I forget?" the doctor says with a polite smile.

"Doctor" Christina gleefully tips her metaphorical hat in response. "and if it isn't Ms. Young Thang" Christina says toward Lacey who just smirks in response.

"you guys are never going to let me live it down that I'm a few years younger than you, are you?" she asks to the table.

"not a chance in hell, sweetheart" Shay replies with an arm around Mel.

"you're lucky Chris didn't call you 'Little Ms. Jail Bait' this time" Rebecca says and we all laugh.

"okay, so catch us up on everything" Mel demands. "What have we missed since we last saw you guys?" she asks the four of us. We all just sort of awkwardly look at each other wondering how much we should reveal.

"oh well, we…um…" Spencer stutters out.

"Spencer and Maggie MD. Me and Lacey." I tell them quickly and that's that.

"For real?" Rebecca asks as she looks between me and Spencer, then her gaze falls on Lacey. I know what she's insinuating and it's rude. I kick her underneath the table and she snaps out of her staring. I don't need yet another person telling me how it should be me and Spencer together.

"Ashley Davies, settling down." Mel notes. Always the innocent and sweet one. "Who would have thought?"

"Well in that case, may I raise a toast?" Christina asks aloud seriously as she raises her shot glass of tequila. We all follow in suit and now we're waiting for her next words. "Since both Spencer and Ashley are no longer on the market may we pay our departing respects to… the drinks system. May it rest in peace!" she says and all the girls start laughing at the ridiculousness before clinking the glasses together and shooting their tequila.

"R.I.P." I smile and take my own shot.

**A/N: Now before a bunch of you start reviewing and bashing the story again, need I remind you that I promise you that spashley is endgame? And if you're going to bash the story don't even bother reviewing! A lot of the reviews I got for the last chapter are just discouraging me of writing. But I'll try and get a new chapter up soon, and I'm going to try and make it happy and funny because serious talkz are getting me down and I miss my spashleyness.**


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

"Ash, are you awake?" I hear Spencer whisper as my bed dips down. I can tell by my tiredness that it's way too early to do anything but sleep.

"no" I groan and keep my eyes closed.

"shut up, you have to get up soon to get ready anyways" she reminds me. Ugh she must want to actually talk then. I crack open my eyes just a sliver and Spencer is staring back at me with her head on my pillow.

"Spencey, sleeeeep" I groan out as I try to pull the covers up tighter.

"No, I can't sleep. Maggie's meeting my family today, I'm too nervous to sleep!"

Are you kidding me right now? I'm missing out on sleep because of a doctor problem? Life hates me.

I crack my eyes open again and this time I see Spencer's eyes are genuinely nervous about this whole thing. Inwardly I roll my eyes at the idea of it, but being the good friend I am I lift up my blanket with one arm and wrap it around Spencer to give her a hug to calm her down.

"it's fine. Your mom already met her." I try to reason and I feel her subtly relax a little. Not so much panicked breathing and shaky hands.

"yeah, _at work_. She's never met her in person. She doesn't know what she's really like, or how she dresses or how she acts outside of work. And I know my dad will like her, my dad likes everyone but what if they just don't…click. Like you and dad, he always cooks something and you're always like the guinea pig. He loves that. And Glen, god well you know Glen. He'll make some stupid rude comment and Maggie will get uncomfortable and then Glen will lost interest and stop caring because he'll be too busy trying to challenge you to a basketball game."

I smile to myself because that's all probably true, and even though it freaks her out it's quite amusing to me.

"stop smiling! I'm freaking out here" Spencer says. "It's bad enough that you and she don't really get along…" she mumbles.

"hey, I've been nothing but nice. You know I always comp her drinks at the bar" I mean that has to count for something right.

"I know, I know, but it's not you I'm freaked out about anymore. It's everyone else. The girls haven't exactly taken a liking to her all that much either" Spencer reminds me. Yeah well, something tells me Rebecca, Christina, Shay and Mel are all still routing for me.

"yeah but we've all been friends for like years, it's different. They just…haven't had time to get to know her"

"I know, but what if things go horribly wrong today?" she whispers and I can feel her tense again. She's really freaked out about this. I haven't seen her this nervous since…she was trying to find the courage to open up her acceptance letter to college.

"…you know who would like the doctor?" I ask with a small smile on my face. As much as I don't want to help the doctor situation, I want to help Spencer.

"who?" she asks quietly.

"Clay." I simply say. "She and Clay would have gotten along so well. You know they would bond over academics and being so smart and how much they both care about you. Both so polite and smart and caring. I think Clay would have definitely liked the doctor"

"you think?" she asks hopefully.

"oh for sure." I nod. "the doctor reminds me a lot of Clay, maybe a little shy at first but learns to open up"

She pauses for a second to think of Clay and I know she misses him so much. Even I miss him. I only knew him for a few years but he was still Spencer's brother.

"So logically speaking, if your parents liked Clay they're obviously going to like the doctor…"

"I really miss Clay" she whispers and this time hugs me closer.

"I know you do" I reply softly.

"Remember that time Clay tried to tutor you in biology?" she laughs. Her body shakes in laughter up against mine and it's sort of comforting.

"He spent like a week trying to teach me about plant cells and membranes, and in the end I just made a volcano with baking soda and vinegar" I chuckle back.

"which doesn't even have anything to do with biology, that is definitely chemistry" she laughs even harder.

"and then Clay stayed up all night with me trying to reconstruct a 3D model of a animal cell. I got a B+ on that project. Mr. Toromont so knew that I didn't make the project but let me have the grade anyways. Clay saved my ass from failing that year."

"too bad you dropped out of high school the year after that" she reminds me as she giggles against my chest. I can feel her body rise and fall with every laugh.

"will you help Maggie get a B+ in Meet The Family 101?" Spencer asks when her laughter finally dies down.

"I think the doctor seems like one of those straight A students, she'll be fine" I mumble to her.

"promise?"

"No"

"Ashhhh" she whines to me.

"Spence, she'll be fine. Honestly, once your parents see….how much you like her then I'm sure they'll like her too. The doctor is like a parent's dream daughter-in-law"

And if there's anything I believe in, it's that. What parent wouldn't love the doctor?

Of course it only makes me resent her more, but you know, whatever.

….

"are we going to go in?" Lacey asks as she stands beside me awkwardly on the front porch of the Carlin's house. Spencer and the doctor are coming in another car so it's just us. I've never opened the door without Spencer here.

"should we knock?" I ask.

"do you usually knock?" Lacey asks.

"No"

"Question answered" Lacey shrugs and turns the door knob to enter the house. I follow her in and see no one, but hear the rattling from the kitchen and backyard. "Hello?" Lacey calls out as I close the door behind us.

"Hey girls!" Paula pops out from the kitchen. She comes over and gives us each a hug and a kiss on the forehead just like every Sunday. "Glen and Arthur are out back, food should be ready soon. We're just waiting on Spencer and Maggie" she smiles. And when I say smile, I mean _smile_. Like ear to ear, jaw hurting smile. She is so excited about Spencer's new girlfriend.

"they're not here yet? Kinda late aren't they?" I quietly comment, trying to seem casual about my hating. "what a great first impression…"I grumble, which only earns me an elbow to my ribs from Lacey.

Just then the front door opens and Spencer and the doctor walk in. Paula fucking lights up like a Christmas tree, naturally.

"hi mom" Spencer greets her mom with a kiss on the cheek. "You remember Maggie" she gestures to the doctor behind her.

"Sorry we're late Dr. Carlin, I didn't want to come empty handed" the doctor says as she hands over a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of dessert wine to Paula.

"oh, Maggie you shouldn't have" Paula fucking gushes. "and please, you know to call me Paula" she says and Maggie just smiles politely. If you look closely at Paula's eyes you can see her actually mentally planning their future wedding. When I first met Paula I had to call her Mrs. Carlin for like the longest time. It took Paula like a year before she finally warmed up to me. Even now we push each other's buttons every so often.

"come on, you can meet my dad" Spencer says as she pulls the doctor down the hall. She ruffles Lacey's hair on the way in and gives me a kiss on the cheek as she passes.

The doctor just smiles and waves. I hate her.

"Ashley, you're the bar manager, come help me open this bottle of wine for lunch?" Paula asks.

"sure" I nod to her and then turn back to Lacey. "I'll be back in a few minutes, go kick Glen's ass in some sort of game" I suggest to her.

"you okay?" she asks carefully as we head toward the back of the house.

"fine" I simply say with a shrug. She pauses for a second to really watch me, but heads into the backyard anyways.

I stop in the kitchen where Paula is mixing the salad. I open up the drawer with some of the cutlery in it and pull out the corkscrew.

"Ashley what's your take on Maggie?" Paula asks to make conversation. Great. Just what I wanted to talk about.

"She's…nice" I reply.

What? It's not like Spencer is around to berate me for using the word 'nice'.

"who's nice?" Arthur asks as he pops into the room. I start screwing the corkscrew into the cork of the bottle. He puts down a dirty plate and tongs obviously just having come back from the barbeque.

"the doctor"

"Maggie"

Both Paula and I answer at the same time. I don't care, I still refuse to call her by her first name. If people want to gush over the fact that she's a doctor, then so be it.

"oh, yeah, very nice girl" he agrees happily. He's never anything but happy. "Spence seems quite smitten with her. Is she always like that, Ashley?"

"I guess" I shrug carelessly. I try pulling the cork out but it isn't really budging. Probably some cheap bottle of wine. Who are we kidding? It was probably the most expensive bottle of dessert wine she could find. I forget the cork for a second and take a look at the label on the bottle.

_Inniskillin Vidal Icewine._

Are you kidding me right now? This stuff can go for like ninety dollars in the liquor store. She would spend all that money. Because she's a doctor. And she's rich. And she's perfect.

"Ashley, you okay there? You look like you're about to break that bottle trying to get that cork out" Arthur comments as he helps mix some macaroni salad for lunch as well.

"It's fine. Everything's fine. _Maggie_ is fine" I grumble. I finally manage to pull the cork from hell out of the bottle and toss it away, putting the corkscrew back in its designated drawer.

"why don't you go outside and relax with everyone? We're just finishing up in here" Arthur suggests.

"I'm okay for now" I sigh as I jump up on the counter beside them. I steal a piece of the salad that Paula's making but she smacks my hand away before I can go for a second piece.

"Is this about Maggie? Because she seems like a really nice girl" Paula finally asks.

"nope" I reply and that's it.

"mhm…" Arthur hums with a smile on his face. I'm not jealous. I'm not. Damn you, Arthur Carlin.

"Okay, fine!" I finally confess to them both. "I'm not…her biggest fan" I shrug as if it's nothing. They just have these knowing smirks on their faces. Which I hate, naturally. They knew it all along.

"oh really? I hadn't noticed" Paula notes sarcastically causing Arthur to chuckle happily.

"do you guys really like her _that_ much?" I ask seriously. I glance out the kitchen window and behold is the doctor talking with Spencer, Lacey and Glen at the large patio table.

"what's not to like? She seems like a very stable and caring person. And Spencer seems really happy with her. At the end of the day all we really care about is our daughter's happiness" Paula says as if we didn't just have a Kodak moment here.

"I know. I want Spence to be happy too…" I trail off. "but…"

"but…she's not you?" Arthur fills in and quickly my head jerks back to stare at him. Did he really just say that?

"Arthur!" Paula bumps Arthur's hip with her own, but she's smiling too.

"what?" I ask.

"oh come on, like you weren't thinking it Paula" Arthur retorts with his own smile.

"what?" I ask again.

"okay, fine, maybe…but come on" she leads on.

"….what?" I ask, yet again. I'm still not quite wrapping my head around this.

"it's just…" Paula starts as she looks up at me. "I don't know" she shrugs like a silly little school girl. "Arthur and I always thought that you know…maybe you and Spencer would…I don't know, it's silly"

"we just always thought that you and Spencer have been best friends for years, and we've just sort of been waiting for you two to get together. Maybe it's just a pipe dream, but…" Arthur adds.

"you know we care about your happiness too, right?" Paula asks. "We consider you a daughter Ashley, blood relations aside"

"well it seems fitting considering I think of you guys like my parents" I tell them honestly.

Are we really having this conversation right now? My mind is blown.

"we just thought that maybe one day it could happen, but maybe we're just getting delusional with old age" Arthur jokes. "Maggie seems like a great girl and we're happy for Spencer, but…we want you to be happy too"

"well, if we're being forthcoming here" I start. "…I'm sort of seeing Lacey" I tell them quietly, mostly because I'm afraid of their reactions. They both instantly stop what they're doing to look at me.

"I thought you were joking about _being_ with Lacey?!" Paula harshly whispers. I almost laugh out loud at the use of the word 'being'. Paula doesn't like to think any of her children have sex.

"No, I was, I was!" I inform them both. "I'm not like in it to be….casual or anything. But recently I've decided to take things a little more seriously and I really like Lacey, and I know she's your niece and everything, but I promise I respect her and I'm treating her good"

"treating her _well_" Paula corrects me.

"that too" I smile and Arthur seems to find my joke funny.

"so, both you and Spencer…not single" he concludes.

"I guess" I shrug.

"well then, I'm happy for both of you" Paula says genuinely and picks up the salad bowl to bring it outside. She pats my leg affectionately before exiting the house.

"I am too" Arthur says as he too picks up the bowl of macaroni salad. "But I'm still secretly routing for you and Spence" he says quietly and with a wink he's out the back door.

You and everyone else, Arthur.

…..

"So, Maggie, how's work going? Are you still working in the pit?" Paula asks over the lunch table.

"yeah, I spend about half my week in the pit and the other half in diagnostics working with the imagery machines" the doctor replies.

"good money in diagnostics" Paula notes and both Spence and I roll our eyes at Paula's money comment. Spencer and I watch each other as we do it and giggle to each other. It occurs to me then that I haven't even talked to Spence at all since we've been here. She's been smothered by the doctor the entire time.

"Lacey, how's school going?" Arthur asks this time.

"good!" she says excitedly. "Classes aren't too hard, but I'm really enjoying it so far" she says genuinely.

"yeah, Ashley's even helping Lacey with one of her business projects, right Ash?" Spencer comments as she takes a sip of the desert wine. I opted for beer because one, Glen didn't want to drink 'girly dessert wine' and offered me a beer, and two, because I hate the doctor. Take that you $90 dessert wine!

"yeah, Ash has actually been a great help." Lacy answers for me. "She's even promised she'd come into class with me one morning to help me present it" She says as she grips my hand underneath the table.

"I'm surprised Ashley even knows anything about business" Spencer teases.

"hell, I'm surprised you managed to get Ashley to go to a _morning_ class" Glen also teases.

"oh _ha ha_" I laugh out sarcastically at the blonde siblings.

"So, Ash, you up for another ass whooping in basketball today?" Glen asks with a cocky smirk. What an ass.

"Glen, don't say ass at the table!" Paula scolds him.

"I don't know Glen, ever since you threw me to the ground a couple weeks ago I don't think my arm has ever healed quite properly." I tease him.

"it was just a little scrape!" he reasons and we just laugh at him. Everyone minus the doctor that is. "how about a friendly game of darts?" he suggests.

"darts?!" I practically choke out. "I'd probably end up going home with a dart in my shoulder or something" I tell him and realistically, it's not an unlikely possibility.

"fine, um what about…Scrabble?"

Spencer and I quickly meet eyes across the table. "Triple word score, _herpes_!" we both shout out at the same time and fall into a fit of laughter. We can tell Arthur finds our antics amusing by the smile on his face, but the glare from Paula kind of forces us to muffle our laughter. If Glen can't say ass at the table we probably can't say herpes either.

"No Scrabble" both Spencer and I say at the same time. Lacey finds our joke amusing, obviously not understanding it, but smiling at it nonetheless. Maggie looks puzzled and slightly uncomfortable, but tries to laugh along anyways.

"I was never good with word games but back when I first met Spencer and her family they whipped out Scrabble and the best word I could come up with herpes. I thought it was a great word!" I reason so that I can explain it to the newbies.

"yeah, mom thought it was great too" Spencer mutters to the rest of the table.

"I think I know what game you guys could play that doesn't involve herpes…." Lacey offers.

….

"oh you are _so_ going down" Glen says with a smirk. He says it every week, unfailingly.

"bring it on. I own in this game" I tell him as I pick up the plastic guitar to put around my shoulders.

"I don't know Ash, you may play the real thing, but I spend my days playing Guitar Hero" he threatens.

"I play this game while drunk. You may have met your match this time Glenny" I smirk.

"this is ridiculous" Spencer shakes her head at me. She and the doctor are sitting on the corner of the couch while Lacey is sitting on the arm chair just beside me. Paula and Arthur are of course watching from a safe distance on the other couch, ready to pounce the moment it gets too rough.

"what song?" I ask.

"pick your poison" he offers.

Naturally I scroll through the list of unlocked songs until I find the hardest one I can think of.

"nothing says a challenge like Free Bird" I say quickly select the song.

"Lynyrd Skynyrd is my bitch" Glen tells me.

"Glen!" Paula scolds him yet again for swearing.

The song starts off nice and slow and easy for both of us, but I know the solo later will be nearly impossible. But for now I'm killing him. I can practically play this song without looking at the screen. In fact I'm more singing along with the song, serenading Glen, only glancing to the screen every so often.

"I think Ashley might actually take this one" Arthur points out.

"does Glen usually win?" I hear the doctor asks.

"only because Glen has a problem with being a sore loser" Paula quickly tells her.

"I'm gonna win this one for you, baby" I say in my best douche bag voice as I wink at Lacey, who pretends to blush and fan herself in response.

"Well, I do declare….my hero" she says in her best Southern Accent.

"here comes the solo glen, are you ready for this?" I ask with a smirk as the music begins to build. I'm practically dancing in my spot as I sing along. I even get Spencer to start singing along with me, then Arthur joins in and slowly everyone else. I focus back on the screen as the small circles slide down the screen. My fingers are moving faster than humanly possible but I'm still killing Glen at the game.

"I think she's got you Glen!" Paula shouts gleefully. For once I may actually beat him. I just laugh in his face. He's getting frustrated. He really does have problems with losing.

"oh yeah?" he asks, glancing to me then back to the screen.

"don't even think about it Glen!" I warn him as he's trying to keep up. Before I know it he spins around and grabs me by the waist hoisting me up over his shoulder.

"Glen! NO!" I scream and I'm force to watch the game upside down. With a smile and evil laugh he throws me into the soft couch and sits on top of me while he continues to catch up by playing on his own. "Cheater!" I squeal and watch as everybody laughs and of course chooses not to help. After another 20 seconds the song begins to fade out and the game is over. Flashing across Glen's side of the screen is the word winner. He quickly stands up and starts doing yet another one of his victory dances.

"Winner!" he shouts and throws his arms up.

"Cheater!" I correct him as I finally get to stand on my own again.

"Loser!" he points at me with a huge grin on his face.

"well I guess that's 29 to 1?" Spencer throws in there and I glare at her knowing that I hate that score. I hate losing. But there really is no winning with Glen.

With a pout I sit down on Lacey's lap and just ignore Glen and his dancing. The doctor looks like she enjoyed the show but hasn't said anything in a while.

"maybe next time" Lacey whispers into my ear happily. I lean back and sit across her lap this time so that I can put an arm around her shoulder.

"well on the bright side, at least Ashley is still in one piece and pain free" Spencer says.

"yeah, except the pain in her ego" Glen throws in.

"bite me, Carlin" I bark at him jokingly.

"who's got next? Who dares to challenge the master?" Glen asks the open room. We all just turn away. "Maggie how about you? How about a formal induction into the Carlin family?" he offers with a smirk.

"oh, I'm not so sure. If Ashley can't beat you I don't think I even stand a chance" the doctor says.

"good answer" Spencer tells her with a pat of her leg.

"who wants dessert? We've got ice cream" Arthur says happily and everyone is already up on their feet heading for the kitchen. Glen however is taking his time putting away his precious Guitar Hero game. I stay back and help him put it away since I'm still wearing one of the guitars.

"I totally had you" I mutter to him.

"yeah, whatever." He says sarcastically. "God, you're such a sore loser. This is why I stopped playing with Spencer!" he points out.

"I'm a sore loser?! Me!" I ask incredulously. "Maybe I can convince Spence to team up with me to beat you….again.

"oh come on, you know you're my favourite little sister" he smirks. But I pause at the comment. Sister.

"Glen, what's your take on Maggie?" I ask quietly as I glance over my shoulder to make sure we're alone.

"Maggie? Oh she's cool I guess" he shrugs carelessly. "Why? You jealous of her? Because you and Lacey looked pretty cozy on the couch"

"I'm not jealous!" I quickly point out. Calm, be calm.

"look, she's cool. Mom loves her because she's a doctor or whatever and dad likes the dessert wine she brought, but you know…you're like my little sister and everything right?"

"and I think of you like a brother" I tell him.

"no like I mean really, you're like my sister. You come to every family gathering, you're just as much a sister to me as Spencer is. And you put up with me every week even though I toss you around, and we argue sometimes but that doesn't stop us from laughing about it the next week. We exchange birthday presents, we make fun of Spencer together, we all chip in to buy mom and dad an anniversary present every year, and even if one day you and Spencer had some huge fight I know you'd still be here on Sunday, at noon, ready to eat lunch….and lose in a game of basketball."

"I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. Glen" I say, genuinely impressed.

"yeah, well, I hope you have a good memory because you won't hear it ever again until I'm a groomsman at your wedding" he jokes. Pft, more like bridesmaid. "that is unless of course you and Spencer finally stop dancing around and get married, at which point I'll probably be Spencer's groomsman."

Wait…what?

"wait…what?" I ask out loud this time.

"oh come on, it's not like I don't see you glaring at Maggie whenever you get the chance. Might as well admit it now and say you're jealous of her" he pokes at me.

"I'm with Lacey" I tell him flatly.

"which is cool, but a little dumb on your part. Because when the day comes and you and Spence get married you'll have to invite her to the wedding because she's family and then things will just be awkward."

"there is no wedding!" I point out to him.

"well, _not yet_."

I contemplate telling him 'not ever!' but I think we should let fate decide that one.

"Is everyone just waiting for Spencer and I to get together?" I ask rhetorically. "Spencer is totally head over heels for the doctor."

"yeah, whatever you say, dude" Glen shrugs. "not my fault you're in denial"

"shut up!" I say as I push him towards the kitchen. "Carry me to my ice cream!" I say as I jump on his back for an impromptu piggy back ride. He grabs my legs and holds me against him as we make our way to the kitchen. Everyone's hanging around eating their ice cream when we come in.

"what took you guys so long?" Spencer asks.

"Glen's just being a girl and telling me all his sappy feelings. You know, the usual…" I tease him.

"I was not!" he argues.

"yeah whatever, _big brother_" I tease him again with a laugh.

The doctor may be with Spencer, but I will always be a part of this family.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

**A/N: so the chapter before last I promised spashley time but didn't quite follow through, so I hope this makes up for it. Also, thank you to everyone who reviewed on chapter 16! All of you made my day!**

"Hey, Ash. I'm home!" I call out into our apartment as I walk in through the door. "and I brought ice cream" I sing.

"yo" she calls back from the kitchen. I can hear something frying on the stove. Dinner smells so good. I round the corner to see Ashley with a frying pan and apron.

"oh well if it isn't my favourite little housewife" I say with a smile as I move to the freezer to put the ice cream away. Without even turning around she holds up her middle finger at me and continues to cook. "aww, you're just so cute" I say as I come up behind her and give her a big bear hug.

"I'm not cute, I'm sexy" she tries to reason with me.

"someone's been spending a little too much time with Lacey" I muse as I take a step back and sit down at the kitchen table just behind us.

"please, I started using that line way before she showed up on our doorstep" Ashley tells me.

"mhm" I nod. "Speaking of Lacey, where is she? Hiding in the bedroom perhaps?"

"She's got a test in the morning so she's at home studying I think" Ashley says as she takes what I now learn are vegetable out of the frying pan and dumping them into a dish, putting a lid on top to keep them warm.

"date with the doctor tonight?" Ashley asks.

"no, she's working" I reply simply. Ashley opens the oven in front of her and pulls out a larger and probably heavier pan.

"lasagna!" I shout happily when I realize what it is. I love Italian food.

"you are so easy to please" she rolls her eyes at me. I jump up and down excitedly while clapping my hands just to prove her point.

"hey, someone's gotta go out and make the money for this family" I say in my manliest voice.

"Funny." Ashley muses. "You'd think with all this money I have sitting in the bank that I'd have my own pretty little housewife to make me dinner every day"

"you love cooking, don't even play" I say as I pull out plates and cutlery from the cabinets to set the table.

"I blame your dad. He knows how much I just love to eat and taught me all these recipes. Now I can't control it" Ashley says as she brings the lasagna to the table, and soon the vegetables.

"one day when I have kids I'm going to have you or him pass the tradition on" I smirk as I pull out a bottle of red wine from the cabinet while Ashley pulls out two wine glasses. We are always stocked for alcohol. It's handy.

"Shouldn't you get your girlfriend to learn how to cook for you first before you start enlisting your children for slaves?"

"Maybe I'll just chain you to my kitchen in the future and force you to make food for me everyday" I joke.

"I'd poison you"

"I'd fire you"

"you'd be dead"

"I'd haunt you"

"I'd call the ghostbusters"

"Do you think I'd be a scary, vengeful ghost or like a nice, casper-esque ghost"

"Can I keep you?" Ashley whispers creepily in a low voice.

"Seriously"

"I think you'd be one of those sexy ghosts who seduce men in a long red dress and then lead them on to think you're still alive and then turn around only to be the kind of ghost that eats their soul"

"that's very…specific"

"I've given a lot of thought to Ghost Spencer" she shrugs casually.

"what about Ghost Ashley?" I ask.

"she'd be Ghost Spencer's best friend and we would seduce people together and then eat their souls and laugh about it later"

"even in the after-life you and I are gonna be together, huh?" I ask, finally getting down to eating the food that Ashley cooked.

"you're stuck with me, sorry"

"that's alright, you're the only person I can put up with on a long-term basis"

"the after-life isn't just long-term, Spence. It's like…for all of eternity, like Hell. That's like marriage shit right there…"

"only you would compare the sanctity of marriage to eternal damnation" I say. She opens up the bottle of wine with the corkscrew and pours us each a generous amount.

"what do you expect? Only recently have I been open to the idea of a committed relationship"

"how is that going, by the way?"

"slowly"

"great lasagna, you've outdone yourself"

"thanks"

"are you two…" I ask openly as I gesture to her with my fork. _Together?_

"we're still friends, taking it slow"

"so you haven't…" _Had sex?_

"not since the first time" she answers honestly.

"it's been a couple weeks, I'm impressed" I tell her with a smile.

"it'd hard"

"that's what she said" I smirk.

"I'm feeling the itch" she rephrases herself.

"should probably get that checked out" I joke again. Even this time Ashley cracks a smile.

"the urge, _Spencer_" she rephrases herself yet again.

"well then…you know" I hint at. Please don't make me say it. Not about my little cousin.

"Well then, that wouldn't be taking it slow, now would it?"

"you're really committed to this slow thing, aren't you?"

"I'm trying to prove a point"

"that if you go without sex for a long time it'll be better when you do it?" I joke as I finally take a sip of the wine I have yet to taste. It's good, I like it. It's sweeter than the others. "I like this" I tell her as I point to the wine glass.

"that sex doesn't make a relationship" she corrects me. "I thought you might, you always had a sweet tooth. I'll order more for you"

"I can't believe I'm hearing you say all these things, it's like we're in a parallel universe" I tease her. "and thank you"

"me neither" she says while picking at her dinner.

"I think it's good for you."

"not having sex?"

"not _needing_ sex"

"oh I still need it." she emphasizes. "I don't know how much longer I'll be able to hold out."

"you're fine, it's not that difficult"

"says the girl with in a committed relationship who doesn't have the same problem" Ashley grumbles.

"Maggie and I have only been together a few weeks" I tell her.

"still, I mean, I'm sure you guys have…" she looks at me, but I just shake my head at her. She stops everything she's doing. "But like… you've like rounded third base by now, right?" she tries to understand.

"you know, I've always been confused as to the bases for lesbians. It's totally different for gay couples than it is for straight couples" I try to distract her. "like sex for the gays is like third base for straight couples, isn't it?

"Spence, we've been over this." Ashley exasperates. "first base is kissing, second base is just touching – over the clothes, third base is under the clothes – no orgasm, and home run is everything after that."

We really shouldn't be talking about orgasms at the dinner table.

"I'll make a mental note" I tell her as I continue to eat, or at least try to.

"Well…?" Ashley asks

"well what?" I ask. I totally know what she's asking.

"Spence" she stares at me.

"second base" I shrug.

"Spencer Carlin, who knew you were such a prude"

"shut up! I'm only a prude because I need to balance out your slutty-ness" I retaliate.

"this is true" Ashley laughs. She continues eating her food now with a small grin on her face. I totally see it.

"you suck." I bite at her.

"oh come on!" Ashley grins even more. "it was a fair question and now we know where everyone stands on their sex life. If it's any consolation I think it's great that you and the doctor haven't….played doctor" she jokes.

"Cute." I say bitterly. "and you _would _think it's great"

"what's the supposed to mean?"

"it's not like it's a secret that you're not exactly fond of Maggie" I tell her. And that's putting it lightly. I know Ashley doesn't really like her at all, but I do, so Ash is nice to her because of me. Which is better than her not being nice at all.

"that's not the point." She says, which only confirms my assumptions. I just roll my eyes at her. "I think it's nice that you don't give in so easily. You have more self-control than I do"

"which isn't saying much" I joke.

"watch it" she narrows her eyes at me.

"you don't…like think it's weird that I haven't slept with her yet?"

To be honest, I don't know why I haven't slept with her yet. I mean just a few weeks ago I was halfway there with Ashley and we weren't even really together.

"not at all" she says simply.

"it's not like she hasn't made passes at me or hinted toward it"

"So then, why…?" she finally asks.

"would you believe me if I told you I wanted to hold out longer so that the first time we do it is really good?"

"No"

Yeah, I didn't think she would.

"it's a big step"

"she's already met your family. Almost no one meets your family" Ashley reasons with me.

"are you trying to convince me to sleep with her or something? Because you seem to be pressing it kind of hard"

"No, I'm just trying to understand why"

"I just don't want to yet"

"You're afraid she's going to suck, aren't you?"

"On the contrary, sucking would be nice" I smirk at my own little dirty joke.

"Spencer Carlin!" Ashley gasps at the joke making me laugh out loud.

"I'm sure she's just fine in bed. But having sex is a big commitment for me, and I know this might be a little more difficult for you to understand because it's easier for you to…"

"to sleep with random girls?" she tries to fill in.

"…to let your walls down and let those girls share something very private with you" I answer honestly.

"oh" she says, obviously not expecting my answer.

"once I sleep with Maggie, it just makes things really serious. I think I'm more afraid of what comes after sex to be honest"

"like what?"

"saying the big L"

"I'm in lesbians with you?" she asks and I just laugh with a nod.

"yeah, and then after that it's just things like going on vacations together, or moving in together, celebrating anniversaries, buying pets together, then next thing you know we're married and looking into having kids"

"and you don't want that?"

"I do but…"

"you don't want it with the doctor" she concludes on her own.

"I didn't say that" I say firmly. "but I've only known Maggie for a short while and I'm not sure how serious we are. I don't know if we're a long term relationship. It stresses me out just thinking about it."

"well no one knows that." Ashley struggles. "If you're not sure you want to take the next step with her, don't. At least not until you're completely comfortable with the last step you took."

"have you ever thought about these things with Lacey?"

"No"

"No?"

"is there an echo in here?"

"what about someone else?" I ask curiously.

"maybe when I was young and naïve"

"aw, you thought about settling down with someone?"

"I did settle down with someone, I settled down with you. I'm living a very domestic lifestyle here"

"Ash. You're sort of casually dating an 18 year-old girl and you work in a bar, I'd hardly call that a domestic lifestyle"

"Say what you will, but I work a full time job, own my own business and I still manage to come home everyday to the same person, whom I love very much, and sometimes I even cook her a nice dinner while wearing an apron. If that doesn't shout domestic, I don't know what does"

She has a point.

Sort of.

"the apron really seals the deal on domestic, doesn't it?"

"more than you know"

"you know I think this is first time we've had time to ourselves in a long time. We haven't had a nice dinner together in a while"

"I've missed it"

"me too" Ash smiles at me.

"oh I totally meant I missed the food" I correct myself.

"oh good because I totally meant I missed the apron" she jokes as well.

"ugh, what would I do without you?"

"starve to death"

"I can cook"

"no, you can _buy_"

"hey, I can make…stuff"

"oh please, you'd live off of street meat for the rest of your life if you could"

That's only partly true.

"so what if I enjoy the occasional hot dog?"

"occasional? Spencer, you know the hot dog vendor by his first name"

"Carl is a very friendly guy!" I reason and she just laughs at me.

"Well maybe you should think about taking the next step with _Carl_ since you seem so chummy with him"

"I don't think Carl's my type" I shrug to her.

"But you guys are so close. He already knows that food is the key to your heart"

"Fine, Carl can be my back up"

"back up?"

"yeah, like if I'm still 35 and single and he's still single we'll just get married"

"How come Carl gets to be your back up and not me?"

Because you're not completely out of the contenders to begin with.

"Carl doesn't give me crap about not being able to cook" I tell her.

"Carl doesn't look as good in an apron as I do"

"have you ever seen Carl in an apron?"

"No"

"then you don't know that" I smirk.

"Fuck that. On the list of people you're going to fall back on for marriage, I better be at the top!"

"Yes, dear."

**A/N: Hope you enjoyed the chapter. I just wanted to give everyone a taste of what Ashley and Spencer were like when they were by themselves, because we haven't seen much of that since the beginning of the story. If there's a specific kind of scene you want to read let me know. I'm thinking maybe I'll do a Ashley/Doctor scene soon or maybe a Lashley date night type deal. Thoughts?**


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